Or are you like me, so timid that you can't bring yourself to insult even a homeless guy who calls you a fucking bitch because you won't give him a dollar?

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

Answers

I wish I had the balls to turn to people who insult me for not giving away my money by asking what exactly they did for the money. I know that that sounds harsh, but if I see someone playing an instrument on the street, I will usually give them all of my pocket change, or a dollar or two. But those who just sit and ask make me mad when I just want to walk to class or to dinner or to the bus stop. *sigh* But I'm usually intimidated and feel bad about being mean to ANYONE, much less someone who was mean to me first.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I'm no good at all at being rude. I was brought up in the Deep South, and my mother and grandmother hammered it into me that rudeness was simply unacceptable. I can be very cold, but not impolite. I'm far better at simply ignoring humans than I'll ever be at being deliberately rude.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

There are very few things I really don't miss about moving from Berkeley to St. Paul. Psychotic panhandlers lining the walk from the Shattuck BART station to work is way up there at the top of the list. My least favorite was the lady who'd ask for spare change, then, if you just walked past, would scream, "GET OUTTA MY LIFE!"

You got it, lady.

No, I'm not good at being rude to people who need a touch of rudeness. I have to lead people into it--I have a sign on my front door that says No Solicitors--Friends Welcome! I have had a couple people knock on the door who didn't know what they were, so I was able to be a bit rude by pointing out what soliciting was (here's a hint: if you have to carry a license for it, you're doing it; kind of like driving and fishing).

Unfortunately, I'm really good at being rude I shouldn't be rude to; I'm also really good at apologizing and looking for new friends.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I'm only rude to drivers who try to run me over. In that case I'm the last person you want to see through your windshield. I figure I don't have a horn and they can't hear me yell so how else am I supposed to tell them that they nearly just killed someone? I've kicked bumpers, dented doors, and nearly smashed a side window (that was when the driver nearly ran me over a second time). I've considered carrying around a big rock just so they'll see it and consider the damage it could cause should they ignore the guy carrying it.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I'm fairly good at being "abrupt" on the phone to people trying to sell me something. If their spiel isn't too long, I let them finish and then I say before hanging up:

"I don't read the paper." "I don't need my carpet cleaned." or perhaps confusing to those phone service people "I don't have a phone."

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I'm good at talking about being rude to people, but it usually never happens. Unless I respond RIGHT THEN AND THERE, and don't hold back my feelings until later. Then, I can be pretty rude.

I can be rude to my dad. I know that's bad, but he's one of the few people that I can be really rude to.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I don't consider it rude to ask someone (no, tell someone!) to back away, if they are too close and are bugging you. you could say please, if you want, but say it in a firm, even stern voice. "Back off, Please!" and look at them.

you might need to roleplay it ahead of time, to rehearse it. that's what those self defense classes are for. you get in the habit of using your voice!

Anita of Anita's BOD and Anita's LOL

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

how do you insult a homeless guy tho? it's not like he has a lot of self-esteem to damage. although, i guess you could ask him if he has a table up his ass or something...

hey, wouldn't the face of ultimate evil suffice? actually, that reaction might be a bit severe. you want to induce contrition, not psychosomatic ocular damage...

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000

I know the guy you are talking about, he is very interesting, but for some reason he never thinks I look like the kind of person that would carry a dollar, he looks at me and is like "nevermind". But for any person that gets too close at an ATM or when you have money out, you should be a little forceful, I think.

But usually I am like "you" and am too timid. I need to learn to be aggressive and scream at rude people or something, although homeless people I run into are usually not like that guy and are a little more nonaggressive and usually quite nice.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000

I used to have problems being rude to people...then I got a job in Customer Service! I have now been trained by the rudest customers in the world. Not that I use these new skills all the time, it's just nice to know that they're there when I need to act like THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN THE WORLD at the drop of a hat.

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000

Growing up during the 1950's in Southern Ohio, I was taught that only people without class or good breeding were rude in public. I spent most of my 20's and 30's sucking on my own feelings of resentment when others overstepped their perimeters and barged uninvited into my world. However, after 20 years of living in New York City, I have learned to succinctly punish verbally anyone who even tries to overstep their welcome. Here in NYC we consider it wimpy not to tell someone to take a hike when they're being insulting and way too familiar.

And you know what? I feel better for it.

-- Anonymous, April 08, 2000

i'm pretty fucking good at being rude, though not always on purpose. for example, i unintentionally diss people on campus, because it appears that i'm staring right at them but don't say hi or anything. in reality, i'm just staring in their direction...right over their left shoulder or something.

however, i doubt i'd say anything to the bum either. i lived for two years, one right on telegraph in berkeley, the other, right off of it. so every day i had to encounter lame ass gutter punks. i'd never say anything back cuz they are bigger than me and outnumber me. depends on the situation. i can be pretty damn rude on purpose at time too. but only if provoked.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

i dont think its a matter of being rude. iv been called rude, iv ben caled an asshole. i just think of it as atanding up for whats right. i m only 17 but i worked hard for my money and i'll be damned if im just gonna give it away to some no good bum who is to lasy to work for it. also if someone is rude to me i have everyright to get defencive and be rude back and its not takeing it to far till u hit the guy first.until then its just sticking up for yourself. and if he hits u first.beet the shit out of him and leave him on the curb so he knos for the next time he wants to be an ass.

-- Anonymous, December 20, 2000

I was told to day that I know everything. WOW I'm good. No, I realy don't, but this person thinks I do and I seem to have a big mouth. This person (LINDA,BITCH FACE) needs a life, get over it girl friend. She can't help being a bitch! I believe people who are outgoing are subject to rat bags who think they can say what ever they like to you. Even if it's a personal attack. These,and I use losely, people, NEED TO GET A LIFE.

-- Anonymous, May 29, 2001

If someone called me a bitch whether i gave them a dollar or not i would go off on them and say something like (Come say it to my face'cause imma bust you in your grill) i don't need shit from other people i got enough to handle in my own life DAMN! Rude people make up reasons to argue and shit but i don't i give respect so i don't need disrespect. 15/f/ca

-- Anonymous, November 29, 2001

Just pimp slap the bitch and jack his crack.

-Froe

-- Anonymous, December 04, 2001

i cant be rude to people even if they sware at me,i simply ignore them.Just curious are you really that thight ass? :))))

-- Anonymous, January 17, 2002

Yeah yeah,heard that. People who think that alot of people are rude they are either fat or ugly or have nothing better to do. I love you anyways my fat ugly ducklings......and that's a NICE way to put it other than what i was thinking. Being rude is the life....can't be no other way.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2002

I always go by the golden rule of, treat people how they treat you. Now I am a very nice person ,but there is that line that you can't cross with me. If someone gets rude with me, I'm like a BOMB and there is nothing no one can do from that point. So, I guess I could say I can handle rude people very well. Because I become the biggest bitch if someone tries to go there with me. I could probably get worst than the next person and if they didn't like then they could just kiss my ass. Being rude is not cool...there is someone who can bite harder.

-- Anonymous, July 28, 2002

well it is hard for me to be rude to people, but once they get on my bad side you might as well as forget it......that is one thing i hate is when someone takes a story and makes you look like the bad guy...so you know what that would be the end and from that time on i am the bad guy.......i know it sounds harsh but i am the only person that can make you feel really bad about what you did......

My moms ex did that tonight....he made it sound like i was the bad person so i laid all his stuff out on the table and told it like it was........well guess what....he isn't talking to me any more....he knows he was wrong........

about the homeless thing......if they did not want to be on the street they wouldn't be......they made there life like that so let them live like that.......

-- Anonymous, August 13, 2002

I think all of you need a life. Rude people are what is WRONG in this world. If you even think you need to be rude to someone, think twice. You are a horrible person and are contributing to all the problems in the world.

As far as Homeless people are concerned. They are usually there because of mental illness, or because they are alcoholics and drug addicts.

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2002

I think all of you need a life. Rude people are what is WRONG in this world. If you even think you need to be rude to someone, think twice. You are a horrible person and are contributing to all the problems in the world.

As far as Homeless people are concerned. They are usually there because of mental illness, or because they are alcoholics and drug addicts. Whatever happened to compassion?

-- Anonymous, September 12, 2002

(I'd like to think Nicoletta is responding only to a few of the above people; but she *does* say "I think all of you need a life.")

Actually, rude people are only *half* the problem. The other half is the apologists and bleeding hearts who actually *defend* the rude for being nasty. They assume (without proof) that anyone who's rude MUST be mentally ill or somehow a victim of misfortune and therefore above reproach. By their reasoning, anyone who would criticize a rude person needs (as Nicoletta said) to get a life. After all, if the victims just wouldn't react, there wouldn't be a problem! That kind of reasoning leads to blaming the victims (not the perps), and the spreading of the don't-defend-yourself propaganda that robs so many victims of their assertiveness.

Is Nicoletta answering only the 2 harsh responses above hers, or is she pointing fingers at everyone here? Hard to say; both possibilities are conceivable. I mean, some people are so committed to the idea of (other people) turning the other cheek that they will pay lip service to the idea that you should defend yourself but then criticize any actual *examples* of you defending yourself.

Anyway, to read my full rant against this backward way of thinking, see my article, "Why Are People Rude?"

P.S. Am I good at being rude to people? I'm good at *correcting* rude people, if that's what you mean.

-- Anonymous, September 28, 2002