Wonderful, creative people-

My younger brother is getting married in a couple of months, and as the best man I have the honor of giving a toast at the wedding.

I'd really like to do a good job here -- first of all because he's my brother and I love him dearly, and also because as the unmarried oldest child I'd like to have the assorted relatives marveling at my astute toasting skills rather than asking me about my social life (at least for a couple of minutes).

Does anyone out there have any suggestions about what to say and/or how to not pass out from sheer stage fright? What's the best wedding toast you've ever heard, and why?

Any advice sincerely appreciated.

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000

Answers

A wonderful toast could be built around Jonne Donne's, "No man is an island entire of itself - - - -" It does not have to be lengthy, but the quote lends itself beautifully to the welding of a man to his mate.

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000

Whatever you say, keep it just long enough to make the point and don't waffle with it. Nothing annoys me more with speeches of this sort than ones which go on for hours

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000

Talk about why the bride and groom are perfectly suited to one another. For example, if she is an entomologist, talk about how he used to collect bugs in jars. My best friend, who is wild, moody, and unpredictable, married the world's most staid, unflappable man, and in my toast I noted how he was a vastly calming influence on her, and she gave his previously dull life a needed influx of mad whimsy. Actually, at the last minute I chickened out and told the bride's sister what I was going to say and she (having the same bold streak as the bride) just repeated it for me to the waiting audience. It went over really well, I think. Of course, people applaud and compliment the toastmaster no matter what at weddings, so who knows?

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

One approach that I've seen work very well is only good in certain situations. If YOU introduced them, or had some hand in them getting together, tell that story.

Otherwise, I second the above advice to recount an anecdote that shows how perfect they are for each other.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

Many moons ago, I gave the toast at my brother's wedding. It went something like this. (I changed the names)

To my brother, Bill and my new sister, Sue.
May you be blessed with health during your lives together.
May wealth overflow your wallets.
May love fill you souls when you are together and, especially when you are apart.
May happiness enter you home and set up camp.
May many little Smith-ettes grace your lives.
And may all your up and downs be between the bedsheets.

Ok, I was young. I got a huge laugh from my drunk relatives. My parents were highly embarrassed. The bride and groom thought it funny and heartfelt.

And I have never lived it down. My old Aunt Anita still thinks I have a filthy mouth.

Say what is in your heart -- that's what matters.

Michael of The Road Trip

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

What a timely discussion. I have been working on the toast to the bride for my younger sister's wedding and have been thinking about what to say a great deal.

I think shorter is always better for any type of speech.

I have asked my Mom, Dad and 2 other sisters about what they thought of my sister as she has grown up and what they hope for her. I thought I would briefly describe each of their perspectives and then close it off with my own. A toast to the bride is a little different than a toast to the newly married couple but I think the same ideas apply.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

When I recently gave a toast for a very dear friend, it went something like this -- maybe it will be of some use:

I was driving from my parents' house one day not so long ago when a storm was blowing in from the east. The eastern sky rumbled with majestic clouds, full of passion and energy and promise of excitment and action and desperately needed rain. It was evening and the setting sun cast brilliant hues of reds and oranges, purples and golds across its half of the sky. Two very different skys... and somehow, there I was, out on this country road which seemed to be drawn out for ever beneath these two, right at the dividing line where they met and mingled and formed something so phenomenal, I had to pull my car over and watch and watch until the sky deepened to night. No photo, no words, could do that sight justice. (I looked at my friends and raised the glass) Except for today. Today I see two different people, so amazing, each in their own way, so different, yet so much in common. And as I watch their worlds combine, I am in awe at the promise of just how phenomenal they're going to be together. They make my world beautiful for being there, for being my friends. And may they have all the riches of love and health to be found under that sky.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

skys=skies (sigh) I can't believe I did that.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I wish my husband had consulted someone for help when he had to do his brother's wedding toast. He has a crippling fear of speaking to groups of people, so he was a nervous wreck anyway. Plus, his brother had only dated the bride for 6 weeks before the wedding, she was already pregnant, and none of us liked the girl at all. Not even a little bit. So he had a hard time coming up with heartfelt sentiment, and decided to open with a joke instead. He said, "I feel like I've known my brother my whole life", and paused to let the laughter die down. There was, of course, no laughter at all, and he had planned to kind of wing it from there, so he was stuck. He just ended up saying "Congratulations!" and scuttled away, red as a beet. So, there's an example of what NOT to do, anyway. I did try to warn him about the joke, I promise I did.

One thing I heard at my best friend's wedding that we all thought was funny: The groom's sister gave a speech that I'm sure was sweet and allm, but the only thing I remember was the end: "...and if you have fight...FIGHT NAKED!"

Good luck to you!

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000

Who the hell let all those typos sneak into my last post?

That was supposed to be "If you have to fight, fight naked."

And I know 'all' does not usually require an 'm' at the end, but evidently my fingers felt differently.

I need coffee...

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000

My husband's best friend Brad told everyone during his toast, that the day after Steve met me he called Brad and told him that he had met the girl he was going to marry. Brad said he couldn't stop talking about how beautiful and smart I was. He told Brad he knew from the first moment he saw me that I was the one.

It was so sweet. What made it even sweeter is that Brad had never told me that story before he made the toast.

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2000