What's the deal with long hair?

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Beth said yesterday she's thinking of growing her hair long. She wonders about whether her hair (or willpower) is strong enough and says that "everyone" says women over 30 shouldn't have hair past their shoulders. I have few questions:

Who is everyone? Was it Coco Chanel or Emily Post or someone else I can trust to have had taste (and authority), or was it whoever cuts Nancy Reagan's and Barbara Bush's hair, because they'd be as well off bald as with their matron perms.

Do you have a long-hair fetish, just for the length of the hair and not for its healthiness or sheen or how much it flatters its grower?

Have you grown out your long-term short hair (as an adult, when the choice was yours) or gone abruptly fron long to short?

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000

Answers

I myself like long hair on either sex if it's flattering, which I think it almost never is. Short--above the nape--hair is much more likely to frame the planes of the face well. Long hair, left hanging, obscures the proud line of the jaw and detracts from the eyes. Plus it's impractical.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000

Seems to be that most people, women specifically look like crap with very long hair [then again real short, boy short isn't always great either]. Not all mind you - depends on the type of hair and face shape you have. Just look at the cast of 'Friends' - I mean what is up with that? They all have long stringy 70's hair AND the hairdressers do it to them on purpose.

I suppose length also relates to your feelings of vanity or need for easy care. I'm vain I guess - I'll spend an hour on my hair if need be, as long as I like the end result. Oh and yes, I look like crap with hair past my shoulders; I can wear it boy short but I choose to keep it chin to collar bone length, all one length bob.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000


"Everyone" seems to be all the old lady moralizers. Long hanging hair is associated with youth. Once upon a time, that meant that when you became a woman and/or got married, you had to either put it up all the time or even shave it off and wear a wig! I'd assume this comes from that tradition. I personally find many old lady short haircuts to look dreadful.

I have waist-length hair, which I like because it sure stands out in a crowd and looks more dramatic, as opposed to dull, conventional shoulder-length hair. Once upon a time my mother cut off all my hair, thinking it was cute (no, it wasn't, and I've been rebelling ever since. Guys like it, but a huge amount of people will go up to me (one person REPEATEDLY, every @#@$% time she sees me) and say how I should cut it "really short" and I'd look "soooooo cute."

NO.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000


wow.. I never knew about the long hair over 30 thing.. it could be related to motherhood as well... chasing after kids all days, said women would have to have her hair up.

I personally have long hair half way down my back, one length, and I think it's nice. It's much easier to care for because I don't use gels or hairsprays..I just wash my hair and go.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000


Courtney, Jennifer, I agree.
I have long, dark, headbanger hair. It is all mostly one length (front a bit longer than the back, because of how I prefer to have it cut), going to the middle of my back. When is it long enough? I'm happy with the way it is now, but if it wanted to go down to my hips, I would not complain.
After having long hair, short hair, and various combinations of the two, I prefer it long. And it does look more interesting. These days, 'long' means that it brushes your shoulders.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000


I had long hair for a very long time. Down to my butt long. I was very proud of it and I loved having long hair. There was so much I could _do_ with it. Heck it was even long enough to do Princess Leia buns.

When I was a teenager, I realized that I had a lot of split ends and that my hair was suffering from its length -- I'd only get it cut once a year, a few inches to trim off the dead ends.

I gave myself bangs when I was 13 because I decided I didn't like the way my face looked with the natural part of my hair. When I was sixteen, I asked the hairdresser to give me a bob.

The short hair was "cute" but once I'd hacked it all off I started longing for my lengthy locks again and started gorwing it out.

My the time I was twenty it had gotten pretty long again. Long enough that I could twist it up into one of those Edwardian bouffant hairdos without the assistance of hairpins. But around that time I was also diagnosed with a thyroid condition that flattened and thinned out my hair, making it brittle and breakable.

I decided my hair needed a lift and hacked it all off again at the ear lobe.

My hair was well on its way down to my behind last summer, I thick wavy mane that curled at the edges and was a snap to roll up into whacky hairdos. But the approach of the hot summer months in DC and a bad haircut in which the dresser insisted on adding layers got me frustrated with it. I got a shoulder length blunt cut and then a few months later hacked it up to my chin again, causing it to bounce up in a crazy halo of curls, akin to the bobs of the late 20s and early 30s.

Now it's creeping down to my shoulder blades again and I'm trying to decide whether to stay with short hair or let it grow. Long hair has been an integral part of my identity for most of my life and my hair is so thick now that keeping it short doesn't help get conditioner out any faster or reduce its drying time.

And, since we're moving to San Francisco, where humidity isn't as much of a problem as it is in DC, I may just let it grow back down to my butt.

I like long hair more than short, because you can have so much fun with it -- it adds a lot to RenFaire costumes if you have the hair to go with it and you're into that sort of thing.

Short hair has some conveniences, but on average it's actually harder for me to keep short hair out of my face.

I tend to let my hair do whatever it wills, unless I'm pinning it up. I've never spent much time on it, other than washing it or putting in foam curlers. I don't blow dry. I don't mousse. I don't hairspray. I'm just not that fussy about my appearance, I guess.

So in many ways, long hair dovetails more with that philosophy on life for me.

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000


I'm way over 30 (I'm 48). I have long, thick hair and like it the way it is. I've had short hair, medium length, very very long (waist length) and now just long (like mid-back).

If my hair was stringy or too thin, I'd cut it short and layer it more, because that would work better, but it looks good long and I like it this way, so I don't care if I am supposed to be too old for it.

I don't think it has anything to do with age, it's just a pesonal preference - and usually people who just plain have really *good hair* can wesr it long, short or medium length and it'll look good pretty much any way they do it.

Judy

-- Anonymous, April 01, 2000


30? Oh shit, I thought it was 40.

I'm in deep, deep trouble.

cheers a

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000


You're right, it is 40. Not 30. Sometimes long hair can make the face face look thin & drawn, but that's also true for teenagers. Some of them shouldn't have long hair. On the other hand, I've seen old ladies in wheelchairs with long fluffy white hair & it can be quite charming. I think if you look good with it, who cares what the rules are?

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000

I had long straight hair for most of my growing-up years, and then cut it all off. For the last ten years it's never been the same for six months straight! My latest effort (or lack there-of) is to grow my hair long. It's been years since I've had long hair, so I just quit cutting it about 9 months ago. I tell people it's "for the children"--that I'm growing it to cut it off and donate to kids with cancer. Then, even if my hair looks like crap, everyone thinks I'm so kind!

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000


i had long hair (almost to my butt--it would never grow any longer than that) pretty much continuously throughout my childhood. freshman year of college, i cut it to shoulder-length. it seesawed back and forth for six years following that. last fall i made THE big change from slightly-below-shoulder-length to boy-short.

occasionally i do miss it, but overall i'm much happier with short hair. my hair is VERY thick, coarse, and wiry, and it was not at all manageable when it was long. i had to put it up in a ponytail or braid every day to keep it under control, and usually it had to be re-done at least twice. and of course, it took hours to air-dry. it tends to poof now that it's short, but it's easier to spend ten minutes in the morning plying it with gel than constantly fussing with it during the day.

i think that most people do look better with short or medium-length hair than very long. i have to admit a certain suspicion of long-haired boys in particular--it conjures up way too many memories of pseudo-intellectual AD&D-playing neo-hippie whiteboys.

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000


I had hair down to my waist growing up, chopped it to my ears at age 12 or so, and have worn in just below my shoulders for years more. For me it's partly about convenience (long enough for a ponytail, short enough to wash quickly), and partly just personal preference. I never liked how I looked with short hair, so I plan to keep it longish indefinitely.

As far as the age thing goes...my mother just decided in her 50s to grow her hair out again after keeping it short for years. My aunt has totally grey hair halfway down her back - and it looks great. I think it takes guts to have long hair later in life...and I almost always like the effect.

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000


Age, shmage, whatever. Grow your hair how you like it. I had long hair for awhile, loved it, got tired of it, cut it off, and now I love my short hair.

Those who say that people over 30 have to cut it off are full of crap. Those who say that people with long hair generally look like crap -- are also full of crap. I try not to judge people based on their appearance. If they like their hair the way it is, that's good enough for me.

-- Anonymous, April 02, 2000


I'm trying to think of some older well-known women with long hair. All I can think of is Cher.

I'm not sure if Cher intends to look much past 30 in age though.

Is an older woman with long hair like a bald guy doing a comb over?

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


Long hair is aging to a lot of women (over 40, not 30), especially if the hair is stringy or doesn't flatter their face at all. But if someone has really good, thick hair then it doesn't matter. At age 60 or something you can always start wearing it in a bun. I think anyone who can grow good, thick, healthy hair is crazy to cut it short at any age! My hair is baby fine and doesn't grow well, so I've always had short hair and look much better with it than I do trying to grow out a stringy mess.

A lot of people may not like matronly hairdos and perms on Barbara Bush and Nancy Reagan types. But realistically, when a women gets as old as they are it's hard to find a flattering hairdo. They're probably not bothered at that stage in life that they don't look young or cutting-edge any more. I think what bothers me more than the permed look is when an attractive older woman with somewhat longer hair starts to go gray, then decides to leave it gray and cut it very short for the first time in her life. That decision, along with the 30-pound weight gain that also can go along with aging, effectively destroys her looks.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000



Long hair is beautiful at any age, if it's thick and healthy. My wife has hip-length, thick, beautiful auburn hair, and it's extremely flattering on her.

I've always thought that long hair is more romantic looking and feminine than short hair on a woman, but I've seen plenty of beautiful women with hair of all lengths. I'm also one of those "strange" people who think that women look better without any makeup.

I don't think that attractiveness is defined by geometry and color charts. Let's keep those methods for the architects, and let the poets handle beauty.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


Well, I've had long hair and I've had short hair, and I will never go short again (barring some drastic medical problem). Long hair is *much* more flattering to my face and body. I'm a large woman, 5'9", with broad shoulders and a muscular, big-boned frame. My face is fairly wide. I've found, after trial and error, that long hair (to the middle of my back) and longish bangs (over my eyebrows) make my face look narrower and accentuate my cheekbones. Short hair is not only more difficult to maintain (for my hair type), a shorn head on my body makes me look like a pin-headed freak.

Contrary to the "wisdom" of various people, my long hair makes me look younger (I'm forty). When I got my current haircut, people fell all over themselves complementing me. There is no one hairstyle "rule" that works for everyone, any more than there is one rule for clothing.


-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

A friend of mine has long, long hair--past her butt. She says there are up-sides and down-sides:

Up: Financial. Never pay for a hairdresser again. Just stand on a chair in the kitchen once in a while and have somebody cut it off square.

Down: Oh, look. It's my hair again. Every time she does ANYTHING, she has to move the hair first. Move the hair, sit down. Move the hair, stand up. Move the hair, bend over. Move the hair, turn her head.

The longest I've ever been able to grow my hair out is to the point of almost being able to put it into a ponytail; my wife then becomes convinced that I'm going to lose my job on account of looking like a hippie. Welcome to whitebread-happy days-brady-bunch-stuck in the 50's-middle america. Things were easier when we lived in Berkeley.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


I have long hair -- almost to my waist. It doesn't grow any longer than that. I've had it this way for years and years. The last time I really cut it -- to shoulder length -- a woman at the hairdresser came over, looked at all the hair on the floor, and asked me how I could have cut all my beautiful hair. It was a traumatic moment.

I had very long hair as a kid, got it cut into a Hamill when that was big, and kept it short throughout my high school days. I started growing it out in college. I don't think I'll ever have really short hair again. My face is too round.

The shortest I plan to go, ever, is just past the shoulder.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


Heh.

I've actually gone from short to long...short hair through high school, very short in college, *shaved it* (a la Sinead O'Connor) in Senior year of college 'cause I was bored. (I was also a punkette/goth person this entire time!)

Graduated, had short hair 'till I was 25/26, then decided to let it grow. And grow. It's now well past my shoulders, and I'll be 32 in May.

I intend to keep it this length, if not longer. Only time I'll cut it is if my future kids decide it's a pulltoy...and there's ponytails for that!

Fie upon the "no long hair past 30" edict -- everyone likes me better with long hair.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


I had every length as a kid, and then had it long all through my teenage years. Then my first year of college I cut it *all* off - like Mia Farrow's hair way back when. It really suited my face, but since the rest of me is a bone-rack and I have no shoulders, it didn't work that well. I'd love to grow it long again, but when I hit puberty, it went from stick-straight to half-assed wavy frizz and it's *impossible* to control. Also, I look really young as it is. The longer my hair, the younger I look! So nowadays I keep it anywhere from ear to just past shoulder length. I also colour it - a lot.

As for who is *everyone* -- I think the perception is just that long hair is a youth thing. I have to admit that I think shorter hair looks 'hipper' or more stylin' then very very long hair.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


My mom is always nagging me to have short hair - currently it's about shoulder length - but I think whether it looks good or not totally depends on the hair, the person it's on, and how they keep it. I really hate long hair that ends in a wispy tail because its owner can't stand to cut off one inch. Nice trimmed ends look so much better.

I had long hair all through high school, finally got it cut during the heyday of the shag haircut, have had it various lengths since then. One thing I noticed that first haircut was how so many people reacted with shock about the hair itself. "You cut your hair!" "You had such long hair and you cut it!" "It took so long to grow!" etc. Few people said anything about how it actually looked on me, long or short. It was like it could have been hanging on a wall, it had nothing to do with me.

Right now I'm growing it out because hte man in my life asked nicely, but he knows that eventually I'll snap and get it short again. I had it super short for a while and loved it even if my mom clucked her tongue and said I looked too butch. It's just so much easier to deal with when it's short, though I really do feel I should get it cut every 6 weeks instead of the 10 plus that I wait now. I color my hair myself, and the longer it is the more of a nuisance that is.

Some people really can't grow it past a certain point, usually people with curly hair.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


My hair is my pride and joy. It's very thick and healthy, and tends to be quite straight. When I was a kid it reached the top of my butt. The weight used to give me headaches pretty regularly. Then a miscommunication with Mom's hairdresser friend when I was 7 caused my hair to be cut at ear level. I thought a pixie cut was shoulder length. But I rarely had headaches after that.

I tried to grow it long again, but my hair was always getting tangled, which meant my mom had to hack out the tangle, then cut the rest of my hair to the same length. For a long time I had a dutch boy style.

In sixth grade my mom gave me (and my sisters) an ill-advised home permanent. I cried when I saw the results and didn't want to go to school. Surprisingly, all of my classmates loved it. I guess it made me seem more mature. As the weeks passed and the curl relaxed, it looked quite nice.

Eventually my hair made its way down the middle of my back, was acquainted with hot rollers on a daily basis in high school, and has seen more lengths than a thoroughbred and more styles than Vidal Sassoon. It's currently resting at shoulder length and looks very cute, though sometimes I miss the sensuality and romanticism of long hair (it's also good for whipping naughty nieces). Every day it looks different, which I love. Versatility is a big must for me.

Strangly enough, no matter the length or style, there have always been people who swore that *that* style was the most flattering. I think it's just because I've been dealt a genetic ace with my hair (Mom's got thick hair too.)

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


In my teens, I had hair that went all the way to my waist. That seemed to be the natural limit to my hair's length. It took hours to air dry when I washed it, since I hate hairdryers. Unfortuanley, having it that long meant it was very badly split, since my hair starts to split if it gets shoulder length.

Also, since my hair is wavy, if I braided it, I wound up with a very fuzzy looking braid, with bits of hair hanging out of every loop -- not very attractive at all.

Nowadays, I have the back of my head shaved halfway up, and have the rest bobbed to about chin length. When it grows down to my shoulders again (that takes about 2 months) I have it cut off.

Of course, my brother, who has the same color and texture of hair, wears his in a ponytail that extends midway down his back, so it's all a matter of taste, and what one is willing to put up with.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


It's a personal issue. If you like it long, grow it. If you don't, DON'T! I once cut my shoulder length hair into a very short cut and it was much too drastic to have done in one sitting. I have rather poofy, curly hair and my brother called me Elvis for a year until it grew out.

I have always wanted long hair (not butt-long, about two inches past shoulder-long) but I have very thick, very curly (think Juliana Margu-- something on ER--we are Hair Twins except hers is dark brown and mine is flaming red) hair that will not, I repeat, will not obey. I keep it long but usually pinned up or back to keep it out of my face and to control the "poof" factor (it really will get to an amazing fullness if I don't control it). It doesn't help that I also live in Louisiana, Humidity Capital of the World. My hair really doesn't grow long, it grows OUT. Way out.

I think it is truly detrimental for women to fall victim to those silly fashion sayings--my mother has had the same short haircut since my birth and now she thinks she cannot escape it because "older women are supposed to have shorter hair". I think women should wear their hair however they like, screw the rest of 'em....

Just don't move to Louisiana. It will wreak horrible things on your head. (just for an idea, our humidity is 97% today!)

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


I like long hair, as long as it's clean, healthy, and maintained. I'm currently growing my hair long. So far, it's almost to mid-back. I did have to give up on growing out my bangs, though. Ended up cutting a thin fringe and leaving the rest (2" longer) to clip back and keep growing. (I don't like my forehead.)

My husband also wants to grow his hair out long. He's got beautiful thick dark hair that's about to his shoulders. Unfortunately, it's at the point where it's flipping up at the ends, which would be cute for a girl, but is girly for a guy.

One time we were at a restaurant and I saw a person standing nearby with the most beautiful pure white wavy hair, hanging past the butt. The person turned around, and I was quite surprised to see this bearded biker-looking dude in leather. Still, about the prettiest head of hair I've ever seen.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


my dad kept my hair long when i was a child, and i love him for it. it was a pain for years, and i did cut off about a foot, but now i've got hair that i adore.
i have thick, straight, dark hair with natural red highlights. it almost never splits (due to the fact that i keep it in braids most of the time, which keeps it from drying out, which effectively stops split ends) so when i do wear it out, it almost always looks good. well, i think it looks good.
it suits my personality. i would drive myself crazy with short hair, gelling it or blow-drying it or whatever.
i don't wear makeup, the most i do to "style" my hair is braids or clipping the front back from my face, and i spend most of my time outside with my dog or inside with my wonderful new mini-greenhouse.
hmm... do you think this might explain why i have such a miniscule social life?


-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I just cut off my waist length hair - on a whim. I grew it out mostly because my mother told me my hair looked like crap long and I'm all for anything these days that tests what she said. That coupled with the fact that I *HATE* to get my hair cut (one of my many quirks) meant I ended up with LONG hair in just over a year.

I have blonde hair, but I've notice waist-lengthers are:

a) a hit with men. I don't understand it, but something about our having to blow dry a mop for an hour really turns then on. Men would track me down in a store, etc, just to talk about my hair. (Now I'm thinking, why, exactly, did I cut it again?)

b) long hair is easy to do - once it is dry. Like a million and one hair styles. Because I'm in my mid-20's I go to a ton of weddings for all my friends. I could have a new hairstyle for each one.

c) kids play with it. I'm a softie - I love having a friend's daughter play barbie with my hair. You can really bond with a child by trusting them enough to brush your hair - and the child thinks she/he is a 'real grown up.' Its your own special time.

d) long hair is a conversation piece at parties, the office, etc. When people don't know what else to talk about, other than the weather, they talk about your hair. (How many times have you heard, 'When did you start growing you hair?')

e) the list goes one....

In the interest of fairness, I will include this short list of negatives....

a) tangles b) 1 bottle of shampoo a week c) 1 bottle of conditioner a week d) looking like 'The Thing' on windy days e) more expensive hair cuts - even though, might I add, they're doing less than they would for someone with short hair and layers. f) split ends g) brushing after you've washed it h) You shed more or something - there are 2ft long blonde hairs everywhere I go! I left a trail wherever I went!

grace

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


I'm 30 and up until about 3 weeks ago I hair half way down my back. I cut it off because I have a 6 month old daughter; long hair and little fingers that like to pull things are a bad combination. Actually I'm working up the nerve to cut it like Renee Russo's in "The Thomas Crown Affair" she was so cool in that movie. Right now it's at my shoulders.

My grandmother used to say that a woman over 30 and/or a married woman should have hair over her shoulders. Because it is "unseemly to traipse about like you're 19, when you aren't". My opinion is.... do what ever is most comfortable. This isn't 1955 for cryin' out loud! Women aren't locked in the kitchen anymore, thank God! Look at Meryl Streep, she's 50! Look at Michelle Pfeiffer, she's 42! or, um...... um who else? Oh Susan Sarandon, she's 54! They all have or have had hair past their shoulders well beyond the age of 30.

Besides I think long hair is beautiful!

OK, I'm done :))

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


Random question about long hair:
Why is it that guys with long hair do absolutely nothing to it- no intensive conditioners, no nothing - and they can manage to get it to look good, no matter what? Is there some element of testosterone that creates gorgeous long hair even if they only wash it twice a week?

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I have waist-length hair (with bangs) and it's still growing. I never got the "short hair past a certain age thing". I'm 37, and plan to let it keep growing. My grand-mother had long hair until she died, age 100. She had it braided and pinned up, like a turn-of-the-century lady, bless her. The only drawback I've found is that when I shed, the hairballs are really noticeable. Air-dry, finger-comb, braid or pin up. I've noticed that medievalists, male and female, are the hairiest people around.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000

I'm very lucky - my hair is naturally blond with a nice, manageable curl. I air-dry it (while I sleep) so I don't have a hair dryer. In high school it got down to my butt, and I was getting compliments almost daily. But I got really tired of being "the girl with the pretty hair" instead of ME, so I cut it off in college. A year after that, I dyed it black. Now I'm back to blond and it's shoulder length. I'm ostensibly trying to grow it out, but I may get tired of it anytime and hack it off again.

My mom had hers very short for years and years (the normal old lady cut, but without the perm). She never knew her hair was curly like mine because she always used a hair-dryer! About five years ago, she began growing it out, and now keeps it about shoulder length. It is gorgeous - curly and grey - and is very flattering to her. It makes her look young and vibrant without looking like she is trying to be younger than her age (55).

The most important thing is to find haircuts that are flattering to you, instead of following some old-fashioned prescription.

-- Anonymous, April 03, 2000


So no one knows who pronounced the 30+ rule, but just about everyone's heard it. There's a similar rule about mini-skirts, and I confess I like only women with amazing legs to break it. It's easier to keep long hair than to maintain fabulous legs.

I plan to have long hair well past my mini-skirt years (which, truth be told, have already passed); I want to be one of those old women with white hair they wear in a braided bun. I want to be Tasha Tudor.

Lizzie summed up what I dislike about long hair best: "Few people said anything about how it actually looked on me, long or short. It was like it could have been hanging on a wall, it had nothing to do with me." Long hair can be beautiful, but a lot of people notice it to the exclusion, or the diminishment, of the rest of the person.

I keep my bra-strap-length hair braided almost always, and up off my neck more often that not. I didn't know that keeping it braided should help it not dry out, but that makes sense. Braiding keeps it cleaner, certainly, and out of the way, and slows shedding.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000


IME even if you have a flattering hairstyle for you, after a while people just don't see you anymore and you have to do something different with it.

I had lower-back-length hair (dark brown, curly) from childhood until I was 25. It didn't look that great. Nobody ever developed a fetish about it or told me I should be in a shampoo commercial.

One day I got over my Samson and Delilah complex and went for a haircut, and then a shorter one. Wow. Attention.

Now it's 10 years later and everyone has gotten used to me with bobbed hair. So I'm growing it out. Results so far are positive, even though I now look like Morticia Addams, and I'm getting to use my bows and hair ribbons again.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000


I've had both, and I much prefer long hair. I went from the middle of my back to above my chin in one haircut. I was bummed because I couldn't do as many hairstyles and started growing it out immediately. Now it's down to my waist. It's healthy and very easy to take care of. I don't have to *do* it every day if I don't want to, I can put it up. People who think long hair is too much work must have been doing it wrong or have never had long hair. I'm 33 by the way and look younger, partly because of the hair. Partly because I'm only 5 feet tall.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000

People who think long hair is too much work must have been doing it wrong or have never had long hair.

like i said before, i had long hair for about 18 years, and it never got any easier. some people's hair is just difficult. (ask all the italian relatives on my dad's side. or a latina. or a jew. or an african-american.) summertime in particular was always a nightmare. every morning i would end up in tears, trying to coax the wet, heavy, thick, frizzy mass of hair off of the back of my sweating neck and into something vaguely resembling a neat braid.

i agree with lisa's comment that "Long hair can be beautiful, but a lot of people notice it to the exclusion, or the diminishment, of the rest of the person." i suppose i have a bit of a chip on my shoulder about the whole issue, but it really got on my tit whenever i would emerge from my periodic hair-slayings and acquaintances would give me a hard time about it: "oh, but your hair was so LONG!" "i can't believe you cut it ALL OFF! you had SO MUCH HAIR!" duh, no kidding.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000


heehee, i just remembered a funny incident from last year, when my hair was slightly below shoulder length. i was in the bathroom at work when a girl i knew from classes came in. she has very fine, long, stick-straight, blond whitegirl hair. my hair was down that day, and she paused at the sink to look at me.

GIRL: how do you get your hair to do that?

ME: do what?

GIRL: i mean, do you just brush it?

ME: yeah. i mean, i just comb it in the morning and let it air dry. why?

GIRL: it's just weird. i mean, i don't know, it's so...so THICK.

ME: hah. yeah. thanks. [to myself:] i guess?

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000


Well, I had a wise friend once, who opined that the reason men love long hair on a woman is because they like to imagine it spread out on a pillow.

I adore long hair on men, as long as it's flattering. My ex had nice curling blondish hair, but had to be practically bludgeoned into conditioning it. Lots of split ends.

My fiance has beautiful hair- thick, wavy, red, long. He recently trimmed it back to brushing-the-shoulders-length, for job interview purposes... sob!

As for me, I sure loved having long hair when I did, even though photographic evidence proves it's not nearly as flattering as something more shaped, and no longer than shoulder length. A hairdresser once told me that long hair "makes young women look younger, and old women look older". But then again, he had a vested interest in women wanting to get their hair cut!

Back in the day, I wore it twisted up into Bjork knots, in multiple braids, buns, ponytails, barrettes... it was fun. Now, there's not a lot I can do except haul it back in an artsy headband thingy.

A dear friend was told by her husband that women with short hair look like their asses are bigger. *shudder*

And final note- the only difference between a good haircut and a bad haircut is about three weeks. Maybe not technically true, but still a comfort when one is sobbing after a salon tragedy.

-- Anonymous, April 04, 2000


This is the deal: when I was 15 years old, I shaved off my long permenantly dyed black locks... completely bald. I'm 19 now... I'm going to grow my dishwater brown hair as long as it will possibly go for the rest of my young and middle adulthood.

I hope it will get to be exotic, waist length, and still be healthy. I will take vitamins and use conditioners and never heat it and always braid it. *dreamily* It will be fantastic.

I don't really know why I want to do it... something classic about it. The only thing I'd ever do to it is a light bit of henna or lemon juice and sun. The worst part is having to keep the split ends trimmed off... Very natural and romantic.

But wait, here is the cool part. When I decide I am getting older, probably when I am like 50 or something, I am going to shave it off again. And I'm going to wear it in those wonderful fuzzy buzzcuts or even a little butch pixie. And I will be a cool old lady.

By the time I'm 70 I will have nice silky shoulder length hair, probably. I just hope it grays nicely. But, by then I hope to be brain transplanted into my youthful cloned body in an underground labratory in Canada, anyways.

Thanks for asking. (www.adoracam.com)

-- Anonymous, April 05, 2000


I think guys with long hair often have nice hair because they don't do anything to it. They don't color it or use blow dryers or hot rollers. A lot of them don't wash it every day. Many kinds of hair do better with benign neglect.

I have long had a theory that guys often have great hair and lousy skikn because they don't do anything to either.

-- Anonymous, April 06, 2000


I think guys with long hair mostly look utterly stupid-- like the mythical Camaro-driving, Metallica-listening, duuuuude-drawling Todd the Whiteboy.... Ponytails are even worse.

I love girls with pixie cuts or short hair-- very,very sexy!

Women over 40 with long hair always seem to be the Birkenstock- wearing vegetarian Wicca 60s-nostalgia type... *shudder*....

-- Anonymous, April 07, 2000


Since you (various yous) have asked about long haired men and what they do to take care of their hair:

I wear mine straight down to the middle of my back. I wash it twice each morning with the Suave Awapuhi clone shampoo, condition it twice with Pantene Pro-V conditioner (the normal hair variety, nothing special). Once a week I strip it with Nexxus Aloe-Rid. Since it takes 8-10 hours to dry on its own, I am forced to blow-dry it to make it to work on time. That's all. Easy.

Some of you may think long hair looks ridiculous on men, and I generally agree. Most men with long hair (the Todd types) either wear it in a mullet or don't bother with even the most basic care

Not to brag, ahem, but I have women approach me all the time to compliment me on my hair, usually in the process telling me that they wish theirs looked so nice. Of course, there are others who tell me I look like Satan. Or Yanni. But no one has ever told me I look like a Todd, an AD&D'er, or a hippie.

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2000


Well, I guess that blows the whole "men don't do anything to their hair" theory...

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000

Yep, I guess some men do plenty to their hair.

I detest mullets, I don't like dreadlocks, and I don't like pony tails on balding men. But aside from that I generally like long hair on men.

-- Anonymous, April 10, 2000


I have an extreme long hair fetish. Nothing is more attractive than long silky hair on a woman. There is nothing I enjoy more than watching or helping a woman shampoo her long locks. I love to watch the hair with tons of lather in it. If you would like to discuss this further please email me.

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2001

Ugh. Why are we attracting all the sex people all of a sudden? You wouldn't believe the mail I got at my garden address from a guy who wanted to watch me squish snails. (I don't think that was a euphemism.)

-- Anonymous, April 09, 2001

I guess people get horny in the spring, hop online, and look for women who are dumb enough to fall for their crap?

Sluggo seems a much more pleasant way to kill snails, if you need to.

On topic, I am growing my hair out (almost a year now) and almost want to cut it off because I can't stand seeing the hair I am shedding all over the house, on my clothes, etc. I don't remember this bothering me before when I had longish hair. Bleah.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2001


I LIKE MY LONG HAIR. IT STAYS. BESIDES, I CAN TUCK IT IN MY COLLAR WHILE I'M SKY DIVING AND IT WON'T GET IN MY FACE.

-- Anonymous, April 20, 2001

I'm selling my hair. It has already been cut and I have the video of the cutting with a before and after interview that will go to whoever takes the hair. It was very long; 3 inches below my ass but I had just had it trimmed for my wedding so it was about 2 inches past the tip of my tailbone upon cutting. I need to measure the ponytail, and will before an exchange is made, but I would estimate (being not so great at estimating lengths) it to be about two and a half feet long. The ponytail is all natural color: dark brown, medium brown, and light brown with natural blonde streaks that grew from my temples. I grow thick hair and I took very good care of it. It was practically straight, though it did have a slight waving to it; it has never been dyed, bleached, permed, stripped or thinned and has only been exposed to hairspray once for highschool prom and a bit of the curling iron once for my wedding. I have not set a price because I intend to accept the best offer I can find. I will likely put it up for auction on ebay and email all those interested about when the auction will go up. If you are interested, please feel free to email me and I will put you on the list. Thanks, Dana

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2001

Was that spam or not? I'm undecided. Why would anyone buy hair over the internet?

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2001

Beth, I would buy hair over the Internet or any other way, provided only that I could plant it in my head and it would then grow.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2001

Dana, have you considered donating your hair? There are organizations that take hair donations and make them into custom wigs for cancer patients, particularly children. Locks of Love is one example (http://www.locksoflove.org/). Just a thought dear.

-- Anonymous, May 08, 2001

Yeah, I'm going to do that. The minimum donation length is 10 inches, and I have 15 inches that I'm looking to whack off. Aah, for short hair again...

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001

I can't believe the the big "do" and "don't" about age and the length of your hair. If it looks good, then to each his or her own!! I've had both lengths and when it's cut right, it looks great either way. At 39, I have just past shoulder length hair with long layers. I love the way long hair looks on women, but I no longer care for guys with long hair.

I wish I had thicker hair; I have to color it on a regular basis because of the grey but I'm looking into using hair vitamins for this and to accelerate the growth. Anyone had any success with vitamins or supplements?

-- Anonymous, May 15, 2001


Atara, Locks of Love is a fraudulent organization. They receive thousands of hair donations every month, but produce a very small number of wigs. Why do they continue to solicit hair donations on high-profile shows like "Oprah" and "Maury Povich" when they are already inundated with such contributions?

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2001

Anthony, can you substantiate this? I've been growing my hair specifically so it's long enough to donate. If they aren't a good organization, please let me know so I can cut this mess off. I've heard nothing but good stuff about them---are you sure the unused donations aren't too short, or damaged hair?

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2001

Question: am I the only one who's sort of squicked by super-long hair? It induces shuddering.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2001

Guppy,

You might be, but I find women with shaved heads or really short hair to be ridiculously attractive, and I know I'm not alone in this.

-- Anonymous, July 11, 2001


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