Victoria Beckham was recently on a sexy lingerie modelling assignment. Whilst she was posing in one of the more revealing outfits the photographer noticed some pubic hair poking out so he arranged for the make up artist to remove the offending hair. Whilst the make up artist was snipping off the offending hair she offered some words of advice to Posh which went along the lines of "you wouldn't have this problem if you shaved the hair off that twat of yours......"

The rest as they say is history.

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

Answers

Thats brilliant Bud,

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

classic! That'll be going round my mailing list

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

The old ones are always the best eh ;)

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

Another one....

Posh Spice decided to help to benefit the community and began a job as a primary school counsellor, One day during breaktime she noticed a boy standing by himself on the side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of football at the other end. Knowing a little bit about football through her marriage she decided to have a conversation with him so she approached and asked if he was alright, in the knowledge that if he wasn't she could talk to him about the game. The boy said he was. A little while later, however, she noticed the boy was in the same spot, still by himself, watching the game. Approaching again, Victoria said, 'Would you like me to be your friend?' The boy hesitated, then said, 'Okay', looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, She then asked, 'Why are you standing here alone? 'Because,' the little boy said with great exasperation, 'I'm the f****g goalkeeper.'

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

Another OLD one...

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a confession to make, I'm not a virgin." The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age." The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy." "Oh yeah? Who was the guy?" "Tiger Woods." "Tiger Woods the golfer?" "Yeah." "Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to be with him." The husband and wife then make passionate love. When they get done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone. "What are you doing?" asks the wife. The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get some food." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it a second time." The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love to his wife a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "What are you doing?" She asks. The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to get room service to get some food." "Tiger wouldn't do that." "Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?" "He'd come back to bed and do it one more time." The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his wife one more time. When they finish, he's absolutely knackered. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to dial. The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?" "No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what the par is for this fuckin' hole."

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000

Beckham, Yorke and Keane are having a five minute break towards the end of training one day when Keane tells the others he has noticed that Fergie slips away at least an hour before the end of training almost every day. The group look around and notice that they are basically left without supervision for the last hour and collectively decide that the next day they too would slip off early once Fergie has left the complex.

The next day after a gruelling session the three stars watch as Fergie slips away a good hour before they are due to finish. Ten minutes later, as soon as Fergie's Bentley disappears out of the training ground Beckham, Yorke and Keane run into the changing rooms, get changed and also speed off in their respective supercars.

Yorke decides to go for an early slap up meal while Keane decides to go to the bookies. Beckham meanwhile decides to go home for some quality family time. On entering his mansion he sees Fergie shagging Posh right in the middle of the living room. Without saying a word Becks quietly closes the door and goes for a long, long drive.

The next day the three players join up for the warm up. Yorke says he had a great meal and nice early night and he feels great. Keane too says he had a great time, won loads of money and suggests that they do the same again today. Beckham though, looking worried, says "No way lads, I nearly got caught yesterday"

-- Anonymous, March 29, 2000