-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

Answers

Remarkable: Welshman attempts to convince New Zealand RFU of Maori ancestry.

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

oh...HEEEEEEE!!! Brilliant oh Soft one!

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

I tell you mother, I saw Dion Dublin in the showers at Villa Park and it was this big. Mind you, I had him licked for pace.

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000

Taken from the Liverpool Echo:

Owen out in new shock

EXCLUSIVE report by Chris Bascombe

MICHAEL OWEN is a shock absentee from the Liverpool side facing Newcastle tomorrow.

Owen is "rested" from the 17-man squad as Gerard Houllier continues a policy of nurturing his star striker through the remainder of the season.

The young forward was in impressive form at Derby last weekend, scoring his ninth goal of the season.

However, amid fears about his hamstring problems, he has followed a specialised training programme to protect himself from further injury.

Houllier has decided to be selective and cautious about the games Owen figures in between now and May, so tomorrow the striker is not even on the bench.

Houllier explained: "I've decided I am not going to play Michael against Newcastle because I want to space out his participation.

"It is a purely precautionary measure and I would stress he has not picked up another injury. It is not a recurrence, but a decision I have taken with the advice of our medical staff.

"Michael understands the situation. This is all part of the recovery programme. We do not want to rush him back and make him play too much."

Owen's absence is a setback as Liverpool seek to maintain their third spot in the Premiership against Bobby Robson's rapidly improving side.

Titi Camara has been confirmed as Owen's replacement and will partner Emile Heskey in attack.

Newcastle arrive at Anfield on the back of an impressive series of results.

Houllier added: "Over the last six games Newcastle and Chelsea have been the Premiership's most successful teams. We will have to be very careful because they are a good team. They have improved a lot under Bobby Robson and I'm sure next season they will be one of the sides competing for a place in Europe."

Liverpool yesterday turned down a bid from Stoke City to buy highly-rated centre-half Frode Kippe.

Kippe was unable to extend his loan deal because of league regulations and has returned to Melwood where he is seen by Houllier as part of his future plans.

) Liverpool Daily Post & Echo

-- Anonymous, March 24, 2000