Germany's 4th largest refinery detonated by oil eating squirrels

http://quote.bloomberg.com/fgcgi.cgi?ptitle=Refinery%20Outages&touch=1&T=energy_news_story.ht&s=1872e03dd9fa1c72ad8d4070825bd156

-- - (x@xxx.com), March 24, 2000

Answers

Detonated? For how long did you search to come up with a headline like that? Definitely a winner!! :)))

-- viewer (justp@ssing.by), March 24, 2000.

WE are bAk. The Problem is squirrelstemic. 1st, WE Began with yore powr plants. NoW, is the refyneries. It IS our birthwrite to krush the aluminum triangle of oil, power, and NutS.

We are preeparring our new wepons. Our ICSM (Inter Continental Squirellistic Missile) is caypable of carying over 30 pre-moistened squirrels that can be launched at ANY powr plant at a momentous notice.

NiGeria was just a Test! HAHAHA. Oh, a nut. MUNCH MUNCH nibble nibble. Where was I? Oh Yes. HAHAHAHA. We HAve ben pised on and crushd by your 4 weel iron giants long enough. AnD those fukking crows bother me too. Their next.

And now a message from our leader, Diane J. Squirrel:

Humans, we are tired of being treated like third class rodents. We feel that we deserve second-class rodent status or higher. The time has come for us to grab our nuts and prepare for war.

If you were worried about Y2K, you should be more worried about this.

Your time has come.

*Squirrel*

Diane J. Squirrel (squirrelledspaces@atYooHoo(yes, the yummy chocolate drink).com

-- SquirrelJS (squirreljs@noemail.com), March 24, 2000.

Oh, no!! Not the Squirrel. My alter name: Squirrelerminator. Big dark vermin fall into my trap regularly. Summer-long project, ending only when the cold drives them underground/overground/awayground. Down with the Squirrel!

-- viewer (justp@ssing.by), March 24, 2000.

Ha, DJS, That was FUNNY!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH AAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH ha HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAH Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah ha haha ha haha

ha ha ha

ha ha

ha

~*~

-- (Ladylogic@...), March 24, 2000.

Problem resolved...

*sigh*

-- CD (costavike@hotmail.com), March 24, 2000.

This, the one True Squirrel King is now Here!!!My loyal Subjects are Still hard at Work as You can See!!!We will not Rest till We have overthrown the Vile pink and brown Furless Apes!!!Long Live the Riodent Revolution!!!

-- The Squirrel King (StillNuts@upina.Tree), March 24, 2000.

SK! Is this really you?

-- Rocky (bull@win.kel), March 24, 2000.

SK,

It is you who destroyed my van!! This means WAR!!!!

-- - (x@xxx.com), March 24, 2000.

CD,

This is the problem...

-- Peg (pegmcleod@mediaone.net), March 24, 2000.

CD and Peg-

You r most astoot. Both are pictures of me. The one that CD posted is one of me, when I injeanyisly ploted to fake my own death. The Norwegian squirrel mafia, led by Don Squirreleone, was hot on my bushy tail. I paid a chipmunk $100 in acorns (cracked open) to put on a squirrel suit and run across the rode. I then crushed him with a steemroller and paynted yello lynes over him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Peg's picture is of yores truly after I was playst in the Government's Vermin Protection Problem. All the booze, chicks, and bad 70's comedy you would want at a secret location in the Pocono's. I was getting more ass than a toilet seet their, I tell you.

But now, back to the battl. HAHAHAHAHAHA. Next tyme yoo go to Disnee Wurld, you wil heer, "It's a Squirrel World After All".

I must leaf now. I am off to a strategic panel meeting chaired by Paula J. Squirreldon.

-- SquirrelJS (SquirrelJS@noemail.com), March 24, 2000.

hehehe,

We're watching you from afar, hehehe.

Signed:
Bro Possom of the 'Rodents R Us'(tm) Down Under...

Relayed via celltower by ever servile scribe etc.

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), March 24, 2000.

For the true story on these little critters, the link below portrays all the gruesome details of squirrel hazing. Not recommended for children.

http://web.wt.net/~psherr/squirrel_hazing.htm

-- Doris (WhoTFRU@mindspring.com), March 24, 2000.