Please contribute to the census questions for 2010greenspun.com : LUSENET : TB2K spinoff uncensored : One Thread
"Please answer all questions. Strapping young male census workers are ready and willing to assist you. If you want assistance, just leave a question blank. We dare you."
#152. If you were to sell your body on the street this year, how much do you think it's worth?
152(a). How many services will you provide for that amount?
#153. What is your rectal temperature?
#154. If Viagra becomes a God-given right in this country, how many will you require per week this year?
#155. How many gallons of saturated fats did you consume last year?
#155(a) How many quarts is that? #155(b) How many gallons of saturated fats did you admit to your doctor?
#156. Do you have a lover outside of your normal household relationship? #156(a) Does your significant other know? #156(b) Does your significant other have a lover outside of your relationship? Didja ever consider THAT?
#157. (check all that apply) If government employees come to your house:
I would invite them in for tea and scones. I would pretend I'm not home. I would run out the back door trying to make it to my fortified bunker. I would loose the hounds. I would resist assist.
We're from the government. We're here to help. Just...
-- Ben Dover (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 16, 2000
....... bend over and touch your toes.
-- (email@example.com), March 16, 2000.
How many laws have you broken within the last year? Which ones? How many times each?
Which internet sites to you visit? What newsgroups do you read? How often? What aliases do you use? What is your real email address?
What is your mother's maiden name?
-- Flint (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 16, 2000.
On which side of your fly do you prefer to "be"?
Do you think Miller Lite A) tastes great or B) is less filling?
Do you take a shower every day?
Do all of the pillows and mattresses in your home still have that label on them?
Have you ever posted as LL?
Have you ever lied on a census form?
-- semper paratus (email@example.com), March 16, 2000.
Do you use Maybelline or Prescriptives?
Was your first time in the back of a Chevy at a drive-in or the Ritz-Carlton on your wedding night?
Do you paint your toe nails red or pink?
Were you breast or bottle fed?
Do you wear a t-shirt or pajamas to bed.
Do you read Elle or Scientific American.
Who do you think is better lookin' Andy Williams or Tom Selleck.
Do you prefer ketchup or mayonnaise.
-- Laura (Ladylogic@...), March 16, 2000.
Did you declare all your income to IRS?
Have you ever passed gas in public and blamed it on the person sitting next to you?
How many boxes of office supplies have followed you home in the last year?
Have you killed anyone? And are they burried in your backyard? In the neighbors back yard?
Are you wanted anywhere? For what?
If you are doing drugs, and selling some for profit, are you declaring the profit as income to IRS?
How many illegitimate children do you have?
Do you have more than one husband or wife?
Do you use your house, apartment, or mobile home for illegal purposes?
How many guns do you have, and where are they? Are they locked up and can our burglars find them? (Draw map.)
Anything you want to snitch your neighbors off for?
Do you have stolen property in your house, apartment or mobile home, and whats the value? Who did you take it from?
Do you have enough money to sue us if we come to your house and screw up? Are you politically connected?
-- suzy (firstname.lastname@example.org), March 16, 2000.
No questions...... for by then, they will simply mass scan, reading our then, mandatory (and constantly updated), chip implants, with supercomputers.
-- Alane (Thinkitm@y.BeSo), March 16, 2000.