Is it ever okay to talk about people? Are there certain things that can be said, and other things that are sacred? What kind of info goes into "the vault," never to be revealed?

-- ann monroe (monroe@chorus.net), March 05, 2000

Answers

if you've promised to keep things from being made public, obviously there should be some effort on your part to uphold your word. but on garden variety issues and everyday things, the lines become - obviously - blurred. i think the main thing to keep in perspective is everybody is an independent entity, with feelings, emotions, insecurities, sensitivities, just like your own. you are an end in itself, and so is everyone else. so don't use the things you know of other people to serve your limited ends. don't use people as means to an yourself. you diminish the value you place on other people, and as part of the same human race, you diminish the value you place in your own self. my two cents for the day.

-- diego (drafael@hotmail.com), March 07, 2000.

If something you say will hurt someone else for no good reason it shouldnt be said. The same goes for things you've promised to keep secret. But people have to rant about others sometimes, about the good and bad things.

-- Jenny (PertPoet@aol.com), March 07, 2000.

I think it's ok to talk about people. I try not to say more about them behind their back than I'd be willing to tell them to their face if I had to. On the other hand, there are some things I've felt I couldn't discuss except with the person who confided in me. The tricky part is deciding what you can talk to others about that wasn't explicitly forbidden to be shared. Then there's stuff that could come up that you've been sworn to secrecy over, but you know you should tell someone. I've probably messed up a number of times, but overall I'd say I've been a pretty good judge of when to keep my mouth shut and when it's ok to blab. As I've gotten older, I've been more reticent about gossipping though.

-Aaron

-- Aaron (lordloki@serv.net), March 07, 2000.

The most important thing to remember when gossiping is to never tell somebody something that the other person would not want told. It might cut down a lot on how much you gossip, but thats not necessarily a bad thing. If someone doesn't want something known by everyone, that should be accepted. I think the loss of privacy in America is truly tragic, as a person constantly in a spotlight must by necessity be stifled. Many of the things that society thinks of as "wrong" truly hurt nobody, and the people who end up being persecuted for their actions when their actions caused no person any harm are the ones who truly suffer from the American ethic that ALL knowledge is public knowledge.

-- Matt (fourteetwo@usa.net), April 13, 2000.

I gossip terribly much, but I draw the line at me. I say everything about me, and exclude what anyone has told me, except with my confidants (which I tell everything and they do not repeat) and when I know it is acceptable to pass along other info pertinent to a conversation. Never when I have been told not to repeat something.

-- Ms. Enigmatic (enigma@chorus.net), May 11, 2000.