[Sorry I don't have a link. This is a letter to the editor in the print version of the Washington Times National Weekly Edition. I had to key it in by hand.]

You people do not understand this Hillary no-tip issue. Once every few centuries the sun, moon and stars align in a certain way and we are blessed with greatness in the form of a human being. Hillary is our cosmic gift. Despite all the selfish things she could do, she has consented to rule. She is willing to descend into the throngs of what she so fondly calls "the ordinary people," leaving the comfort of limousines, mansions and galas for diners. Fate plucked this fortunate waitress out of the masses to serve Her a free lunch, er, breakfast.

The question is not: "Where is my tip?" The question is, "Am I worthy?"

Jane Kahramanidis Darien, Connecticut

-- Markus Archus (apxov@mail.com), February 29, 2000

Answers

I hear everybody in NY state have their "Run Hillary Run" bumper stickers on their front bumpers.

-- JB (noway@jose.com), February 29, 2000.

Good point Markus Archus.

Furthermore, the matter has to be seen from Hillary's perspective:

The waitress who served Hillary was in the privileged position of access to her Used China (!) and tableware, as well as napkins and leftover food. These items, properly secured, tended and maintained are of far greater value as utensils employed by our future First Woman President, than would be any old 15% tip (measured in today's depreciating dollars). Hillary's gesture in leaving the mess at the table and NO TIP, was thus not only appropriate, but benevolent, generous and farsighted for the greater welfare of the waitress of marginal means and dlttle hope of advancing her economic lot.

-- Squirrel Hunter (nuts@upina.cellrelaytower), February 29, 2000.

I'd rather meet HAWK, SQUIRREL HUNTER, JB, PEITER, CHARLES, RICK, HELIUM, ANN, DEE, before Hillary... I used to know an artist in LA who saved the fingernail clippings from Marilyn Monroe, and another collector who saved glasses with famous lipstick marks on them... but I would think you'd want to anything Hillary used into a BIO- HAZARDOUS disposal bag...you don't know where that woman's been...and on top of that (just a pun) you can guess where her hubby has been! Naw...I'd want the tip... and a surcharge added on for Toxic waste disposal!

-- SB Ryan G III (sbrg3@juno.com), February 29, 2000.

Anyone with any sense knows that you don't tick off someone who has access to your food before you eat it! Especially a female...

-- Mad Monk (madmonk@hawaiian.net), February 29, 2000.

Thankw for the .... compliment ... I think, SBG.

-- Squirrel Hunter (nuts@upina.cellrelaytower), February 29, 2000.

Maybe Billary didn't have any small bills on her? After all, why would she need to carry any money? Guess no one ever heard of putting the tip on the credit card.

-- (justwatching@my.screen), February 29, 2000.

And who woulda thought that "forgetting" to tip that nice server, could actually cost you an election.

Ahhhh....sweet revenge. =)

-- cin (cinlooo@aol.com), February 29, 2000.

...wonder how many tips she's received to date? I know the republicans had the address up for folks to send the waitress a few bucks...

-- Hokie (Hokie_@hotmail.com), February 29, 2000.

Squirrel Hunter, It was a compliment!...I think... BRyan

-- SB Ryan G III (sbrg3@juno.com), March 01, 2000.