So why do YOU hate Starbucks? Or do you, you heathen? Alternatively, you can talk about some other establishment that totally sucks. I'm not too picky.

-- Anonymous, February 24, 2000

Answers

I don't drink coffee outside of my workplace (speaking of crappy coffee) enough to know the difference between Starbucks and Joe's Local Coffee Shop of Love, but I guess Starbucks has never fooked up my "tall" mocha too much. *shrug*

That said, I do agree about the naming scheme. Every time I've been in a Starbucks (which is under 10), I go up to the counter and say to the Trendy Person Working There ("barista"? wtf is that?), "Could I get a mocha, please?" and the TPWT says, "what size?", and I panic. I don't know. Medium. Work it out in your own language. I just can't say "grande" to the TPWT. In my mind, "grande" (or even "tall," for that matter) makes me think of the Big Gulp at the 7-11, and just the *thought* of that much mocha sends me into caffeine shock and my heart just explodes.

And what's with the TPWT to begin with? I'm so waiting to hear about someone applying to work there and getting turned away because they were too ugly. Or they didn't wear those little mini-barettes in their hair or wear glitter on their cheeks. Anyone else notice the trend of teenagers wearing glitter on their cheeks all the time? I notice it all the time at fast food places. Funny, you can't wear more than one set of earrings if you work at Baskin-Robbins, but you can wear *glitter*? "I'd like a single scoop of Pralines and Cream, please, and, uh, thanks for the glitter that fell off your face into my food."

And I'm really sure that the Starbucks head honchos go to talk personally to the coffee growers in Columbia about their coffee "standards," much less the horrible working condition that 90% of the world's coffee growers have to endure. Hrm.

Anyways. Blah blah blah. This is why I haven't posted in a while; I'm still sick and blathery. ;)

-- Anonymous, February 24, 2000

Well, I'm wondering if Starbucks in Canada is different than those in the States. I LOVE Starbucks. Its my favorite coffee - I think its nice and flavourful. I know some people find it too strong, but I dont. I also used to work at a Starbucks, about 10 years ago, in College. I learned so much about coffee there, and since working there I cant enjoy coffee anywhere else. I even buy my whole bean there. But taste is a personal thing. And they can't be that bad - to be so successful and all.....

And the bagel thing - I love their bagels. They are always so fresh. And I actually prefer to get my cream cheeze on "the side" in those little philly containers - if they spread it on for you and you take it in a little bag, its a bit messy.

I'd also like to say that as a former employee it was one of the best places (relatively speaking) that I ever worked. They treat their employees like gold - they pay relatively better than other retail establishments, give medical and dental (well, in Canada), we got a free pound of coffee every week plus all the free stuff we could drink, and they also had a stock option program for employees. I understand Starbucks isnt for everyone, but I have nothing but good things to say about them and their coffee, which I think kicks butt. My favorite beans are from Sulewesi (i may have spelled that wrong). Give them a try!

Shelagh

-- Anonymous, February 24, 2000

Maybe they put something in the employee water or something....my roommate used to work at Starbucks, too, and she still brings home all sorts of crap from them. Coffee makers, ground coffee, whole bean coffee, mugs...all Starbucks Brand Coffee Paraphenalia (tm). It's like the implant that Saturn put behind my ear that instructs me to *only* bring my Saturn back to the Saturn Dealer MotherShip for oil changes. ....ooonnnnllllly sttttarrrrbuuucckkkksss ccoooooffeeee issss yuuuumiiiiliiicciiouuussss..... I'm becoming increasingly convinced that they drug their employees. Starbucks employees, beware! :)

-- Anonymous, February 24, 2000

See, it's not that the coffee is too strong. I like my coffee as strong as the next guy, probably stronger even. It just tastes BURNED to me. I dunno.

Also, the bagel thing must be different in Canada, because seriously, last time I went to Starbucks they had exactly two bagels on display. Not two types. Two bagels. Total. This is not my idea of a high- class bagel establishment, although granted it's not a bagel store, it's a coffee store.

One of my regular readers who also lives in Seattle emailed me about a groovy bagel place that has bazillions of different kinds of bagels and who presumably will not mind slicing, toasting, and cream cheesing my bagel for me. I just have to find one near my house.

-- Anonymous, February 24, 2000

I personally have never stepped into a Starbucks. It is probably like Arabica and differs from site to site. You go to one and order a Milky Way and they look at you like you have lobsters coming out of your ears, you go to another and get the most incredible cup of coffee you have ever experienced.

But that is not what I really hate. What I hate is a certain Cinemark with really narrow seats. I know I am too large to be considered normal but even the guy I am dating (who is not abnormally wide) has trouble in these seats. I say there shall be movies without pain. Now if only I hadn't used up the rest of my plastic forks on my other causes...

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2000

Not being a big coffee aficionado (sp?), I only order fraps from Starbucks, which I love. No other real opinion about them, other than the fact that the sheer amount of them in certain big cities scares the living shit out of me.

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2000

Starbucks (and yes i am canadian, too) annoys the piss out of me. It makes a very crappy cup of coffee, for anyone that actually LIKES coffee.. but offers an endless assortment of coffee-related drinks and specialty bean stuff for those who want to be all cool with their starbucks containers. It's annoying, it tastes funny, and dammit I FUCKING WANT A COFFEE not a coffee-related experience with bunch of flakes who are also buying t-shirts soall their friends know they were buying coffee-related drinks at a cool place. (COFFEE = TIM HORTONS!!)

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2000

See, Christine, that goes right to the heart of why Starbucks pisses me off on a fundamental level. That's damn right: I want coffee, not a coffee-related experience.

Incidentally, contributing to my general dislike of the place is the fact that the one that's closest to me usually smells funky when I walk in. Sort of like rotting garbage, but more like rotting garbage that somebody sprayed disinfectant on. Hard to describe. Reminds me of my McDonald's days. Not good.

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2000

Oh, and regarding Teesa's comment about movie seats: my movie theater preference is based directly on how comfy the seating is. Crap-ass seats with armrests that poke into my ribs and floors that are so sticky I can't get up after the movie usually mean I won't be going back to that theater.

Stadium-style seating, cup holders (this is key), and carpets are so much nicer.

-- Anonymous, February 25, 2000

Oh..goody..another fun one...

We have got a starbucks in the barnes -n- noble in town..blah stuff let me tell you...

I mean it could be thati am spoiled becuase i work in a coffee shop with the best coffee in town..we use actual glasses...and dont mass market ourselves so that we lose flavor and taste...and pride..but that is a different story...

i just like to rail on starbucks whenever i get a chance..they suck...

-- Anonymous, February 26, 2000

Off topic.. The best movie theater I've been to was one north of Minneapolis (ask Becky what it was called). No other place ever gave me a free ticket when the projector screwed up. Second favorite is the sexy new 14-screen multiplex they put in our mall... if only they'd figure out how to use their projectors (or give us free tickets), then they'd be my favorite.

PS- Arm rests in all theaters should retract and should be stadium seating. Thanks.

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2000

i do hate starbucks, for all of the reasons mentioned above (although i have to say, i've never actually seen anyone buy any of their "coffee experience" merchandise). recently i had to stop drinking coffee (GASP) because i simply could NOT handle my psychotic caffeine dependency any more. i really miss my daily coffee ritual, so i've tried to replace it with earl grey tea. it's okay...but not the same.

but for all my protesting against starbucks...i've actually been going there recently. sigh. the thing is, they just opened a shop in the middle of downtown ann arbor, right in the neighborhood of three local coffee shops. but ALL OF THOSE STUPID LOCAL SHOPS CLOSE RIDICULOUSLY EARLY, considering this is a COLLEGE TOWN, whereas the starbucks is open until midnight or 1am every day. example--last night i went downtown around 10:30pm with my boyfriend intending to relax, have some coff--i mean, tea, and do some reading. local coffee shop #1 had closed at 10pm because it's spring break. there was some guy singing and playing annoyingly loud guitar at local coffee shop #2. and local coffee shop #3 was closing at 11pm. guess where we ended up? that's right, fucking starbucks.

my boyfriend sat down at the table and said drily, "i think i'm going to start boycotting the other coffee shops in town for taking away from starbucks' business." funny, in a sick way.

-- Anonymous, March 04, 2000

One of my biggest peeves is going to a nice coffeeshop or local bar and discovering the the place has been hijacked for the evening by a demonstration or a protest or a benefit event or something.

One of my favorite bar/restaurants in Chicago did this ALL the FREAKING TIME. At least three times, we went there to eat and were told that if we wanted to come in and eat we'd have to pay ten dollars to hear the guitar player sing protest songs, because it was a "benefit event". Well, screw that. We'd go to the smoke-filled dive around the corner instead.

Eventually it got to the point that we'd call the place ahead to make sure they weren't having some freaking benefit. Oh, and the best part: 2 out of 3 of the benefits that we ran into were to "stop nuclear power." Well gee, honey, who do you think is providing the power for your amp there? The Electricity Fairy?

-- Anonymous, March 06, 2000