Media Giants Fail To Deny Diversity Programs

New York, (Associative Press)

Representatives of major media companies today failed to deny the use of intellectual and ethical diversity programs in their hiring practices.

The controversy began when the Institute Against Advocacy in Media (IAM) released a report alleging "serious, long-term negative affects caused by on-going intellectual and ethical diversity programs." According to the IAM report, these "IE" programs have led to a rapid increase in "tabloid journalism" and are largely responsible for "a general decay in both broadcast and print media."

These IE programs were reportedly created in an attempt to correct a long-standing, industry-wide prejudice favoring journalists of high intellect and strong social conscience. The programs strive to fill job openings with reporters, editors and producers who score low or very low on IQ tests or display little or no moral character. Misinformed applicants who believe journalists should interject their own personal political agendas into their work are also favored.

The director of IAM issued a strong statement claiming that, "most of the major news services, networks, affiliates and print media organizations have been heavily involved in these [IE] programs for the last two decades." He also noted that the major media companies, "do not deny involvement in these bizarre hiring and promotion practices." One media insider, who wished to remain anonymous, was supportive of the programs.

"All we're saying is that historically these jobs were given to people who understood the issues and genuinely cared about journalistic integrity. Why, just fifteen or twenty years ago, almost no one of limited ability and knowledge was even given a chance."

One media observer noted that in fact, "there was a time in this country when psychopaths, simpletons and political hacks were not allowed to report the news."

Another supporter claimed that intellectual and ethical diversity programs have been good for ratings.

"All I know is that our ratings were horrible before we hired a bunch of people with a real contempt for the truth and no sense of the reality of most people's lives. I mean, can you imagine Edward R. Murrow sticking a microphone in a grieving mother's face during a funeral? Do you really think he could make it in today's market?"

Detractors say the programs have led the news media to produce more sensationalistic stories that are devoid of any real substance. They also claim the "ratings excuse" to be invalid because reporting the days events in a clear, factual manner hasn't been tried for over 25 years.

A large percentage of the American public agrees that the industry has been severely, if not irreparably, damaged. A poll conducted recently by the Associative Press indicated that 100% of the people surveyed found most news coverage to be inaccurate, self-indulgent, blatantly editorialized and curiously lacking solid information.

There is a growing body of evidence to suggest that policies of hiring intellectually-challenged, morally-deficient applicants have been used by some of the nation's most respected news services.

One well-known newsperson seemed agitated and uncomfortable with the allegation that he may have been hired solely because of his ignorance and cynicism. One media analyst believes his reaction to be a, "sure sign of guilt."

Another prominent journalist appeared to be confused by even the most basic principles of interviewing.

When asked how hiring policies that preferred illiterate, psychotic reporters had affected his network, he seemed perplexed and replied, "I don't know who you people are or why you keep asking me these questions!" Can a man who doesn't understand this critical process be trusted to report the news? Have the news media been overrun by overpaid, uneducated, self-aggrandizing, amoral, ideological fascists who have no detailed knowledge of the issues they cover and no genuine concern for the people they serve or the society they inhabit? That is the question so many have asked.

Copyright ) Lewis W. Napper. All Rights Reserved.

-- Lucy (lifeisgoodhere@webtv.net), February 19, 2000

Answers

Lucy,

This sounds totally BOGUS. What is the Associative Press? Trust me, no one ever, ever tested for ethics when hiring journalists. The ethics in question are those of top management, not the lowly reporter. What do these people mean in trying to condemn intellectual diversity? Is this some kind of code for racist sentiment? Who are these people? I'm just supposed to accept this??? Who is the author? Give us a link or something.

-- Mara (MaraWayne@aol.com), February 19, 2000.

--whoa, Mara, it's a satire...shhhhh

-- tongue (in@cheek.funny), February 19, 2000.

That's what I get for skimming.

-- Mara (MaraWayne@aol.com), February 19, 2000.

Sorry Mara. Good satire does have its points though. Eh?

-- Lucy (lifeisgoodhere@webtv.net), February 19, 2000.

That was hilarious! And, as with all good satire, it was right on target! Thanks Lucy!

-- Carl Jenkins (Somewherepress@aol.com), February 19, 2000.

The entire Nation and its Activeties is based on two Things TRICKERY AND DECEIT. We start early with the"Stork"delivering the Babies.The comes the Easter Bunny,followed by Santa.By then the religious Freaks get a hold of the new Citizen and give them a Story about Noah and Martha Stewart pounding the Ark together,with Lumber from Home Depot.By then the older Brother is trading the Kid a Dime for a larger Coin(a Nickel).Not to forget the blind Folks,all Paper Money is the same Size,so they wont know what they got,for the almost blind all the Money is the same Color.Then we come to the furlongs,hogsheads,Barrel,inches,Feet and Socks ,Weight and measuring System,the Pound is less than the World around,the Gallon is less here than in Canada.Postage Stamps without the Value on it,Car Tags You cant read,because its covered with Fruits,Cheese and little Birdies on it.One Country,BUT,You need 50 Fishing Licenses and 50 Gun"Permits" if you happen to wanna go on Vacation,read Your labels on the Cans,call 300 Airlines to get the best Prices,Pot Holes Galore in Detroit and Yellowstone Park,but we need to know if there is Water on Mars.The Education resembles Stock Yard Training,our County spends Millions on School Buses that sit around 3-4 Month of the Year,but Public Transportation virtually non existent,Healthcare a Fiasco,Your Retirement Nest Egg going into "Secureties" on Wall Street,Privatisation and Deregulation has cost many,many People their Lives and their Jobs.The Importation of breeding Slave Labor continues to take the Pressure of the 2-3%,that owns everything in Mexico,Business serves them in Spanish,to keep them as dumb as the Rest of us.We terrorize and bomb other People,then we wonder,why they retaliate.--Just a few small Items,You might think about,while I get another Beer and watch Homer Simpson:):):)

-- Optimist Schopenhauer (Tsk@TSK.TSK), February 19, 2000.

Carl:

Question: is it satire if it explains the results? I live where they all swim up stream to repoduce each year [journalists not salmon]. I will need to think this one through.

Best wishes,,,,

Z

-- Z1X4Y7 (Z1X4Y7@aol.com), February 19, 2000.

Satire, was it? Funny, it seems to explain what I used to see every night on the news fairly well, actually. This is why I tend to rely on our cherished board (which I affectionately refer to as the "Bomb") for current events. Frankly, I find more integrity here, than on the news broadcasts.

-- Daisy Jane (deeekstrand@access1.com), February 20, 2000.

Surely your newspapers haven't plummeted to the depths of Fleet Street style journalism in the UK it is interesting to see old prewar copies of now tabloid newspapers (e.g the Mirror)they look like the so called quality papers of today, there are about 5 tabloids (with a maximum of 5 words on the front page) and 5 quality papers now in the UK (with large photographs, full page adverts), only approx 30% of the space devoted to the "news"

-- dick of the dale (richard.dale@unum.co.uk), February 21, 2000.