Bump in the Road Feb 18, 2000

I like that phrase, it reminds me of a road trip a to Phoenix. Here I am going down the road and I hit this bump, they said it was coming, the next thing I notice is my gas gauge dropping faster than normal. Come to find out the bump in the road put a hole in the gas tank, now there's a trail I can follow back if I get lost, my nose is sharp so if the line fades I'll just sniff. Stopped in Winslow for tank replacement, guy at shop said lot's of tanks are suddenly springing leaks, does this ring a bell?

Cruising down the highway my oil light comes on, must have been another bump in the road. As you can guess my car has this shiny new oil pan now, guy at shop said he would a weld a skid plate on for me, the roads are bumpy around here. As I drove away I heard the antique bell ringing on the service station wall.

Back on the highway again, the sun is setting, it's a beautiful sight, except I can see all these streaks in the sky and that guy who passed was leaking some kind sticky water. Oh well, I turn on the lights and notice one of my headlights is out, so does the police man and you guessed it, warning time. The nice officer said maybe the bumps in the road knocked your headlight out. It's been a rough trip so I just pull off a side road and sleep. I wake up the next morning and go to town, very thirsty, only one problem, a water main break has created a water shortage. Thats ok, I've got a water filter so I head down to the nearby stream, another problem, the water has a oily smell and would ruin my filter. Looks like someone else hit that bump in the road and leaked oil everywhere. I can hear those bells again.

I got this fancy new cell phone so I decide to call AAA for advise, all circuits busy. Was it that bump in the road again..? don't know, things are looking kinda strange. Finally I get thru and the nice person says, our service man is here fixing the computer system. He hit a bump in the road and now it appears the new hard drive is damaged so we'll be down till next week, parts shortage due to Taiwan Earth Quake.

This driving idea isn't working out too well, I decide to take the train to Phoenix. Only one problem, the switch was set wrong and now the train is off the track and in the mud, thank God that other train missed us... It would appear trains have bumps too, the whistle sounds as were taken by bus to the Airport.

This is cool, now I have a free plane ride and the bumps, well there just air pockets. Only one problem, the pilot announces that the plane is turning back due to a control malfunction and the seat belt bells start going off. Plane lands ok, good thing that small plane we saw turned quickly.

So now I'm offered a free hotel room and a ride to Phoenix by horse and buggy. Great, nothing can stop a horse, not even a bump in the road. Only one problem, I'm coming down with the flu.I decide to stop at Med1 and get help only to find a line 7 hours long, could this be related to those bumpy roads I ask..? no, no way. Could it be realated to that sticky water..? no, no way. After talking to the folks in line I realized the sticky water came from the sky, but how could this be..?

I decided this whole trip could only be true in one of my wilder dreams, so then I awoke to the morning coffee maker alarm. I thought to myself, thank God Y2K really got fixed. The lights are on and things work, sort of. Think I might invest in a four wheel drive, better yet how about a Time Travel Machine, but what if it glitches..? no, no way, it has all the bells and whistles and chips.

The four wheel drive took care of the bumpy roads, but only one problem, the gas milage isn't real efficient and now I have a hole in my pocket. I did finally make it to Phoenix only to be caught in a freak snow storm, the weather man I think also hit a bump in the road, he said the storm would miss us by 300 miles. The moral of the story is, "HANG ON" the bumps are out there.

-- Whitecloud (redman@biglake.net), February 18, 2000

Answers

Please, Pray to the Ancestors, this, not to be the scenerio. Mutt Cherokee, here.

-- No Millionaire (inthis@life.com), February 18, 2000.

You've never experienced "bumps in the road" until you've driven around Michigan, lemme tell ya.

So, when someone sez "BITR", I think of waiting to have my axle repaired, then being slapped with a huge bill. Last time that happened, my credit card wouldn't swipe, so they tried to call in; but alas, the lines were busy. So I had to run down the street (in the rain, with no sidewalk...about 1/2 a mile) to the nearest bank branch and take out some cash out of the ATM...but I needed more than the maximum limit, so I had to walk in and go to the counter to make a withdrawal. Since it was the first week of the month and lotsa seniors were cashing the SS checks, it was only a 45 minute wait.

But, hey...no big deal.

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), February 19, 2000.

Back in the 70's and 80's I-75 thru Detroit used to be pothole capital of the world. The road that Time forgot---

Haven't been thru there for some years. Wonder if they've patched 'em up yet?

-- Tom Carey (tomcarey@mindspring.com), February 19, 2000.

Funny you should mention Detroit. That's where the incident happened, around Warren. I was there on business. People seem to know when you're an out of towner in a bind, wanting to go home :-)

-- Tim (pixmo@pixelquest.com), February 19, 2000.

I used to live in metro Detroit; my next-door neighbor made cruise missile motors. Last time I heard, Michigan had the lowest per capita expenditure for road maintenance of any state in the US. "Blockbusting" (throwing cement blocks from overpasses) and carjacking were invented in MI (to show American cars were worth stealing?). While driving around with a colleague from Israel, he said, "we have had three wars and our roads are better".

-- Total Doomer (sky@falling.com), February 19, 2000.

Love it Whitecloud!

Was once stuck in a campground near Winslow AZ for two days with a broken Turbo. Memories.

Also challenge any road (track) to be as bumpy by car as those on the Navajo Reservation, especially those leading to the rim of the Lower Colorado River's salt canyon trail.

;-D

Diane

-- Diane J. Squire (sacredspaces@yahoo.com), February 19, 2000.

But you knew it was only bumps because the spikey-haired mutants weren't seen in hordes ripping out front windows ...

-- tgf bitrs (not@bitter.at.all), February 19, 2000.