I know you're all little hotbeds of seething civil unrest. What's your gig? Do you tear the tags off mattresses? Run through red lights when nobody's looking? Are the Library Police after you? Cough it up, we know you're hiding something.

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2000

Answers

I probably have hundreds, maybe over a thousand dollars of pirated software. Its all because of this little private business graphics college that I go to - they made me do it! Actually, I just hate working on my homework at school, so of course I need the software to do it at home. I take comfort in knowing that I'M not the one to crack this software, I just borrow other people's cracked software!

Like Carolyn, I'm just sayin'.

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2000

I, uh, don't think I do anything illegal. No, seriously! I don't even dub CDs onto cassette tapes anymore! I wait at stuck red lights in the middle of nowhere at 3am! I return my movies to the video store on time! *sighs* Hang on, lemme try and think of something...

Damn, this is pathetic.

Oh, wait, I thought of something! I lied to the DMV when I went to register my car; I told them that I had only moved to CA the week before, when it had really been about 3 months...I didn't want to pay the "you took too long to register your car so bend over" fee. Does that count? That's really damned sad. There has to be something else.

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2000

I'm currently driving without a license, because I'm too lazy to finish the driver's exam (because I was previously too lazy and broke to renew my license). If I get caught, it's a $300 fine... and I might even get thrown in jail. A cop flashed his light at me the other day... I had a minor heart palpitation. I'll do it sooner or later... sheesh, I'm just sayin'!

I also jaywalk all the time... does that count? (Never mind all the "lewd acts in public" I'm guilty of...)

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2000

I once stole a car. Me and a few friends put it in park, and rolled it down the street, while another friend stole the keys. We started it down the block and then went for a joyride. Yes, we were all too young to have licences, and yes, we landed in the ditch a few times. (Brand new honda prelude).. and yes, it was loads of fun. I miss being young enough to be charged under the young offenders act. sigh.. nowadays i break the law by speeding. and not signalling my intent. i'm a traffic-pirate. and i have a few books from the local library, since last january.. so 13 months overdue, they haven't sent out the dogs yet.. it's just a couple books of spanish poetry. (how many people actually WANT to read this?? can't be too many). i'm rambling, i'll end this.

-- Anonymous, February 17, 2000

the easy answer: mp3's, of course.

i also insist on paying state income tax to oregon, even though i've been living in michigan for over a year.

-- Anonymous, February 18, 2000

This was a fun question to think about. I break the law everyday and enjoy it. I speed. Bad. Yes I have tried to slow down...but HPD insists on giving me positive reinforcement to do so. I have recieved 10 speeding warnings to date. Eleven if you count last week when a cop sped past my 80 and flashed some white light at me but kept going right along. So, yes I speed. I also have stolen a final exam in high school. Yes I was dared to do it, the teacher practically begged a person in our class to be brave enough (or was that dumb enough?) to do it. I decided this was my chance to impress a guy I liked. No I did not get caught, I put it back the next day. GUILT consumed me. To this day I wonder if said guy was impressed. I think I was too consumed with that GUILT to even notice. :)

-- Anonymous, February 18, 2000

Oh hell, let's not even talk about mp3s. I actually ran an mp3 SERVER for awhile while I was in college. Seriously, I told all my friends to email me if they wanted to get in touch with me, because the phone line was permanently tied up (yes, I was running an mp3 server over a 28.8 modem).

Also, I speed like it's going out of style. I was worse when I was growing up in Ohio, surrounded by rural country roads. It's easy to go 80 when there's nobody in front of you. Here in Seattle (same was true of Chicago) it's hard to do more than 70 or so, and 70 is a rarity. Doesn't mean I stop trying, though.

If I don't get my Washington State driver's license, I'll be breaking THAT law pretty soon. I'm still driving on my Ohio license, which expires next year, besides which Washington requires you to get a WA license within like 6 months of moving here, and I think I'm past that now.

-- Anonymous, February 18, 2000

Yes, I'll post 8 days afer the last one. Is that breaking a law?

I'm a goodie-two-shoes. Never arrested, never pulled over, never gotten a ticket--and I drive like shit. Ok, when nobody else is on the road I'm pretty good, but I like to tailgate. Two defensive- driving courses later, I'm still an offensive driver--and that should be illegal. Been in an accident, almost got a ticket there.. but lucked out.

I think they don't give minivans speeding tickets, 75 is a regular speed (limits are 55-65) on the "expressways" around here and the cops don't seem to mind. Speaking of speeding... Driving back from the airport last weekend (sigh.. 3+ weeks til I'll be doing that again, dammit), a line of four cars goes zooming by while I was going about 75. Behind them, a DE State Patrol car going about 83. Like any good driver, the four cars got over and let the patrolcar pass them. Like any bad driver, I followed him all the way back to Dover--going 83 (in 55 zones, even).

It must be nice to be a cop, especially in NYC (in reference to the recent trial).

-- Anonymous, February 27, 2000