ISSUE 1721 Thursday 10 February 2000

Hell hath no fury like a woman's web site By Michael Fleet

THE days of the wronged woman tearing her husband's suits to shreds or pouring his best claret down the drain have been superseded by new technology.

Cindy Chapman claims to be making a 21st century stand for women by putting a web site on the internet describing her former common law husband's alleged faults in the most minute detail.

Ms Chapman, 41, has set up the site and given full vent to her feelings about Paul Hafiz, with whom she lived for seven years. She has also invited women to come up with their own tales of husbands and boyfriends who have deserted and are not paying maintenance.

The web site carries photographs of Mr Hafiz and goes into the history of the couple's relationship, their home and business lives, and why they later split up. It progresses from a Mills & Boon-style account of how she fell in love with the "fun, charismatic, dynamic and apparently sincere" Mr Hafiz to a caustic description of their separation.

She said yesterday that the web site was not set up in revenge but as part of her campaign for maintenance and to "show the world" what Mr Hafiz was like. She said:"I know scorned women have ripped up their husband's clothes before but this is much more hard-hitting and less destructive." It had been checked by a solicitor before being posted, she said.

Ms Chapman, of Waterlooville, Hants, has even printed out copies of the web site and sent them to friends of Mr Hafiz. She said: "Paul has treated me like a dog. Now it's payback time. I want to help women throughout Britain who are in the same mess that I am left in. We can use the power of new technology to make a stand for women."

Her web site gives details of bugged telephone calls obtained by a private detective on Ms Chapman's behalf and details of Mr Hafiz's alleged earnings. She chides herself on the web site for not going ahead with her plans to throw him out of her flat in 1994, after the birth of their daughter Abbey.

She writes: "Maybe I was stupid but anyone who has been in that relationship will understand that when a man is crying and begging to be allowed to stay, and when there are children involved, you really want to believe him. You really want it to work. But let me tell you, from my own bitter experience, these men are the best liars in the world, and they never keep their promises."

Other headings in Ms Chapman's web site include "Why of earth did this ever get so bitter?" and "How to spot a bastard by his star sign". Some of it is addressed personally at Mr Hafiz and she makes a promise to update the web site whatever he does in reaction to it.

She said yesterday that she "just wanted what's right" for their daughter, who will be six later this month. She said: "I just hope that he will now hold his hands up and start carrying out his responsibilities to me. He probably thinks I have done this just to be malicious, but this was a last resort and he has driven me to it."

Mr Hafiz refused to comment in detail. He said: "Imagine how you would feel if you were in my position and featured on a web site like that."

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), February 09, 2000

Answers

Isn't there a law or Commandment about "Airing dirty laundry?" Poor Children. Their Family shame going to the four corners of Cyberspace, forever and ever. At least we get used to get blessed with dimmed memories.

-- Ought to (beal@w.com), February 09, 2000.

link please link please link link link

-- cin (cinlooo@aol.com), February 09, 2000.

No link was given. You'll have to search for it.

-- Old Git (anon@spamproblems.com), February 09, 2000.

Hey at least tell us which newspaper to search.. cant find it so far..

-- river (riverwn@aol.com), February 09, 2000.

Searching using the major metasearches, can't find anything. I have to wonder if it has been "unlisted" by the various search engines for fear of slander lawsuit here in the US.

Still would like the link on this.

-- (formerly@nowhere.zzz), February 09, 2000.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk:80/et?ac=002433520837645&rtmo=Lbx7GGid&atmo =KKKKKKYM&pg=/et/00/2/10/nweb10.html

this whopper is the link, but you have to register to get in and read it. It's free though.

-- (formerly@nowhere.zzz), February 09, 2000.

formerly, could you please post the link to the vindictive woman's site. Thanks.

-- Mikey2k (mikey2k@he.wont.eat.it), February 09, 2000.

For your viewing pleasure:

http://www.selfishman.com/

-- (formerly@nowhere.zzz), February 10, 2000.

Thanks, formerly.

hotlink

-- Mike2yk (mikey2k@he.wont.eat.it), February 10, 2000.

She needs Al Anon

-- You Cant Ghange em (anonymous@none4me.thnx), February 10, 2000.

This is a good example of what happens to women when they marry (or shack up) with someone from a very different culture.

She is quite lucky that he hasn't hauled her daughter off to Karachi or wherever his family is from, never to be seen again. This situation would likely never have happened if he married a moslem woman. The pressure to perform as a decent husband and not be an alcoholic would have been present, and this woman would not have been in this situation at all. The fact that they weren't married in the first place places both the woman and the child in a precarious situation legally from the beginning. It all goes downhill from there.

It's difficult to be married to someone from a culture from a 3rd world country. I know. Been there, done that. Only I didn't marry a moslem.

The current hubby is another WASP (like me) with many many many things in common. Successfully and happily married now for 13 years. Another thing: I didn't meet him in a bar. It's not a good place to meet a potential spouse.

Your mileage may vary.

-- (happilymarried@home.ahh), February 10, 2000.

I wonder if Mr.Hafiz will indulge in the dirty-rotten-lowdown male internet equivalent, by posting his x-rated polaroids of Ms. Chapman on nakedex-girlfriends.com, or wherever?

-- number six (#@#.com), February 10, 2000.

Guy is most likely a loser, but we haven't heard his side. She has demonstrated that she is a loser.

When she hit 40, she probably got fat, if she wasn't already so, before. Also, typical is that "I've got my kid now, what do I need more sex for?" And she then devotes that energy previously used in sex, for nagging.

PMS = Perpetual Monthly Syndrome.

Hell hath no fury like a woman dissed.

-- A (A@AisA.com), February 10, 2000.

"these men are the best liars in the world, and they never keep their promises."

CORRECTION: "PEOPLE are the best liars in the world, and many of them never keep their promises."

They come in two distinct varieties: "men" and "women"

sorry, just wanted to clarify that. Of course, had she said "politicians" - I'd have to agree 100%.

-- steve (WhoCares@nymore.Right?com), February 11, 2000.