Story Link

Ferret takes police by unawares
From AAP
07feb00

9.40am (AEDT) A POLICEMAN is nursing a painful injury after being bitten on the penis by a ferret during a bizarre arrest yesterday.

The ferret was being driven to a wildlife refuge by a young constable when it bit him on the genitals, police said today. It had escaped from a cardboard box on the back seat and climbed onto the officer's lap before sinking its teeth into his groin, a police spokesman said.

The incident almost caused a traffic accident on inner city Milton Road as the startled officer tried to restrain the animal and pulled on the hand brake, sending the car into a spin.

He was forced to use his baton to knock the animal down after chasing it around the car, where it defecated on the seats and grew steadily more vicious.

Describing the animal as an "illegal alien", police spokesman Brian Swift said it was an unfortunate incident for the officer.

"The ferret got itself out of the box and latched itself to a place of undesirable intent on the police officer's person in the front seat," Mr Swift said.

"It caused him a certain amount of reaction and he is getting a lot of sympathy, but also a lot of ribbing from his mates at this stage."

The half-grown male ferret was confiscated from its owner in the Fortitude Valley Mall in Brisbane just minutes earlier.

The owner was charged with keeping prohibited wildlife without a permit.

Mr Swift said the ferret was being held at the National Parks and Wildlife refuge at Moggill on Brisbane's outskirts and its future rested with the state government's environment department.

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Comment:

Possum Power Rules! We recruit 'em 'n use 'em! Revenge is sweet. Hail to the ferret rodents!!!

Regards from an alien place

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), February 07, 2000

Answers

I think this yet another case of Squirrel Hunter enlisting his international minons in the struggle against gubmint oppresion. First it was power poles, now police penises....what's next :)

-- Jim Cooke (JJCooke@yahoo.com), February 07, 2000.

Pieter:

Just a thought...I'll bet releasing a box full of ferrets in the next labor-managment negotiations at the power plants would speped things up a lot...just a thought, though :)

-- Jim Cooke (JJCooke@yahoo.com), February 07, 2000.

Squirel KING!!!!

NOT me!

>"<

INCIDENT REPORT

A stout Aussie warden, a constable, Who ferried the ferret responsible Was nipped in the bud On the tip of his pud; So the wound is described, not demonstrable.

The rodent of Fortitude Valley Found patrol riding not up his alley So he yanked on the brake Got the Fuzz by mistake In the peak of his Fortitude Valley.

-- Squirrel Hunter (nuts@upina.cellrelaytower), February 07, 2000.

Reformatting ......

INCIDENT REPORT

A stout Aussie warden, a constable,

Who ferried the ferret responsible

Was nipped in the bud

On the tip of his pud

And the wound is described, not demonstrable.

The rodent of Fortitude Valley

Found patrol-riding not up his alley

So he reached for the brake

Got the Fuzz by mistake

At the peak of his Fortitude Valley.

-- Squirrel Hunter (nuts@upina.cellrelaytower), February 07, 2000.

SH:

Sorry, meant to type Squirrel King rather than Hunter - I know you're only the mouthpiece for the Dark Furry One. I'll bet you did the limerick though :)

-- Jim Cooke (JJCooke@yahoo.com), February 07, 2000.

Oooooo. That's gotta hurt.

-- "Ferret" Dundee ("Crocodile" Dundee's wimpy brother) (Somewhere@In.The.Outback), February 07, 2000.

Squirrel Hassler,

Gasp! You're multi-talented!!!!!

Regards in astonishment and awe

-- Pieter (zaadz@icisp.net.au), February 07, 2000.

Well done, Squirrel Hunter! Bravo!

-- Firemouse (firemouse@fcmail.com), February 07, 2000.

I'm looking forward to a disclaimer from the International Association of Weasels stating that in no way are we involved in this incident. Assaulting police officers is not any kind of action we can condone or support. We're not the NFL, you know.

But I have heard through the grapevine that Louie the Lizard was seen pouring some kind of powder into the ferret's drink at a bar in Sydney, just the other night.

WW

-- Wildweasel (vtmldm@epix.net), February 07, 2000.

LOL! Ferrets take Honornibble Seat next to Drunk Terrorist Squirrels, Crows, Moles, dropping from mylar balloons.

-- enemies growing (run@bunkers.apes), February 07, 2000.

As for me, I am printing the news story AND the limerick!!

-- Daisy Jane (deeekstrand@access1.com), February 07, 2000.

This story gives a whole new meaning to my fake e-mail address!

>"<

-- Squirrel Hunter (nuts@upina.cellrelaytower), February 08, 2000.