Y2K INstruction Sets - assembly languagegreenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
SInce I know that there are many who have written more than their share of assembly - I give this old file to you - enjoy
AAC Alter All Commands
AAD Alter All Data
AAO Add And Overflow
AAR Alter At Random
AB Add Backwards
ABR Add Beyond Range
ACC Advance CPU clock
ACQT Advance Clock to Quitting Time
ADB Another Damn Bug [UNIX]
AEE Absolve engineering errors
AFF Add Fudge Factor
AFHB Align Fullword on Halfword Boundary
AFP Abnormalized Floating Point
AFVC Add Finagle's Variable Constant "the constant
that must be added to make your data support
AGB Add GarBage
AI Add Improper
AIB Attack Innocent Bystander
AMM Answer My Mail
AOI Annoy Operator Immediate
AR Alter Reality
ARNZ Add & Reset to Non-Zero
ARZ Add & Reset to Zero
AS Add Sideways
AT Accumulate Trivia
AWP Argue With Programmer
AWTT Assemble With Tinker Toys
BAC Branch to Alpha Centauri
BAF Blow All Fuses
BAH Branch And Hang
BALC Branch And Link Cheeseburger
BAW Bells And Whistles
BB Branch on bug
BBB Burn Baby Burn
BBBB Byte Baudy Bit and Branch
BBI Branch on Blinking Indicator
BBL Branch on Burned-out Lamp
BCB Burp and Clear Bytes
BCBF Branch on Chip Box Full
BCIL Branch Creating Infinite Loop
BCR Backspace Card Reader
BCU Be Cruel and Unusual
BD Backspace Disk
BDC Break Down and Cry
BDM Branch and Disconnect Memory
BDT Branch on Dumb Terminal
BDT Burn Data Tree [next opcode after Decorate Data
BDU Branch on Dumb User
BE Branch Everywhere [As in HHGttG's Infinite
BF Belch Fire
BH Branch and Hang
BIRM Branch on Index Register Missing
BLC Branch and Loop Continuous
BLM Branch, Like, Maybe
BLMWM Branch, Like, Maybe, Wow, Man
BLR Branch and Lose Return
BM Branch Maybe
BMI Branch on Missing Index
BNA Branch to Nonexistent Address
BNR Branch for No Reason
BOA Branch on Operator Absent
BOD Branch on Operator Desperate
BOHP Bribe Operator for Higher Priority
BOP Boot OPerator
BPD Branch on Programmer Debugging
BPIM Bury Programmer In Manuals
BPO Branch on Power Off
BR Byte and Run
BRA BRanch Anywhere
BRA Branch to Random Address
BRI BRanch Indefinitely
BRO BRanch to Oblivion
BRP Branch on Real Programmer
BRT BRanch on Tuesdays
BSC Burst Selector Channel
BSM Branch and Scramble Memory
BSO Branch on Sleepy Operator
BSP BackSpace Printer
BST Backspace & Stretch Tape
BTD Byte The Dust
BTJ Branch & Turn Japanese
BTO Branch To Oblivion
BW Branch on Whim
BWABL Bells, Whistles And Blinking Lights
BWOP BeWilder OPerator
CAF Convert Ascii to Farsic
CAI Corrupt Accounting Information
CAIL Crash After I Leave
CAT Confused And Tired [UNIX]
CBA Compare & Branch Anyway
CBNC Close, But No Cigar
CBS Clobber BootStrap
CC Call Calvary
CC Crappy Control [UNIX]
CCB Consult Crystal Ball
CCCP Conceal Condition-Codes Permanently
CCD Choke, Cough and Die
CCD Clear Current Directory "this may really exist!"
CCD Clear Core and Dump
CCR Change Channels Random
CCS Chinese Character Set
CCWR Change Color of Write Ring
CDR Complement Disk Randomly
CFS Corrupt File Structure
CG Convert to Garbage
CH Create Havoc
CHAPMR CHAse Pointers Around Machine Room
CIB Change Important Byte
CIMM Create Imaginary Memory Map
CM Circulate memory
CMD CPU Melt Down
CMD Compare Meaningless Data
CMI Clobber Monitor Immediately
CML Compute Meaning of Life (42)
CMP Create Memory Prosthesis
CMS Click MicroSwitch
CN Compare Nonsensically
CNB Cause Nervous Breakdown
COLB Crash for Operator's Lunch Break
COMF COMe From
COS Copy Object Code to Source File
COWHU Come Out With your Hands Up
CP%FKM CPU - Flakeout mode
CP%WM CPU - Weird Mode
CPB Create Program Bug
CPR Compliment PRogrammer ("Aren't you cute!")
CPSN Change Processor Serial Number
CRASH Continue Running after Stop or Halt
CRM Clear Random Memory
CRN Convert to Roman Numerals [IBM Italy only]
CRYPT reCuRsive encrYPt Tape mnemonic [UNIX]
CS Crash System
CSL Curse and Swear Loudly
CSN Call Supervisor Names
CSNIO Crash System on Next I/O
CSU Call Self Unconditional " the ultimate in
CSYS Crash SYStem
CTDMR Change Tape Density, Mid Record
CUC Cheat Until Caught
CVFL Convert Floating to Logical
CVFP ConVert FORTRAN to PASCAL
CVG ConVert to Garbage
CVU ConVert to Unary
CWAH Create Woman And Hold
CWDC Cut Wires and Drop Cores
DA Develop Amnesia
DAP De-select Active Peripheral
DAUF Delete All Useless Files "would YOU trust a
computer that far ???"
DBL Desegregate Bus Lines
DBR Debase Register
DBZ Divide By Zero
DC Degauss Core
DC Divide and Conquer
DCAD Dump Core And Die
DCD Drop Cards Double
DCGC Dump Confusing Garbage to Console
DCI Disk Crash Immediate
DCON Disable CONsole
DCT Drop Cards Triple
DCWPDGD Drink Coffee, Write Program, Debug, Get Drunk
DD Destroy Disk
DDC Daily During Calculations
DDOA Drop Dead On Answer
DDS Delaminate Disk Surface
DEB Disk Eject Both
DEC Decompile Executable Code
DEI Disk Eject Immediate
DEM Disk Eject Memory
DES Disk Eject Swapped
DHTPL Disk Head Three Point Landing
DIA Develop Ineffective Address
DIIL Disable Interrupts and enter Infinite Loop
DIRFW Do It Right For Once
DISC DISmount CPU
DJ Deferred Jump
DK Destroy Klingons
DK%WMM Disk Unit - Washing Machine Mode
DKP Disavow Knowledge of Programmer
DLN Don't Look Now...
DLP Drain Literal Pool
DMPE Decide to Major in Physical Education
DMPK Destroy Memory Protect Key
DO Divide & Overflow
DOC Drive Operator Crazy
DPC Decrement Program Counter
DPMI Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
DPR Destroy Program
DPS Disable Power Supply
DRAF DRAw Flowchart
DRI Disable Random Interrupt
DRT Disconnect Random Terminal
DS Deadlock System
DSH Destroy Sector Header
DSI Do Something Interesting
DSPK Destroy Storage Protect Key
DSR Detonate Status Register
DSTD Do Something Totally Different
DSUIT Do Something Utterly, Indescribably Terrible
DT%FFP DecTape - unload and Flappa-FlaP
DT%SHO DecTape - Spin Hubs Opposite
DTC Destroy This Command
DTI Do The Impossible
DTRT Do The Right Thing
DTVFL Destroy Third Variable From Left
DU Dump User
DUD Do Until Dead
DVC Devaluate Computer
DW Destroy Work
DW Destroy World
DWIM Do What I Mean
DWIT Do What I'm Thinking
DWL Define Word Length
DWLZ Define Word Length Zero
EBRS Emit Burnt Resistor Smell
EC Eat card
EC Eject Carriage
ECI Execute Current Instruction
ECL Early Care Lace
ECO Electrocute Computer Operator
ECP Erase Card Punch
ED Eject Disk
ED Execute Data [UNIX]
EDD Eat Disk and Die
EDIT Erase Data and Increment Time
EDR Execute Destructive Read
EDS Execute Data Segment
EEP Erase Entire Program
EFD Eject Floppy Disk
EIAO Execute In Any Order
EIO Erase I/O page
EIOC Execute Invalid OpCode
EIP Execute Programmer Immediately
EJD%V EJect Disk with initial velocity V
ELP Enter Loop Permanently
EM Emulate 407
EM Evacuate Memory
EMSL Entire Memory Shift Left
EMT Electrocute Maintenance Technician
EMW Emulate Matag washer
ENF Emit Noxious Fumes
ENH Execute No-op & Hang
EO Execute Operator
EOI Execute Operator Immediate
EP Execute Programmer
EPI Execute Programmer Immediate
EPP Eject Printer Paper
EPS Electrostatic Print and Smear
EPS Execute Program Sideways
EPT Erase Process Table
EPT Erase Punched Tape
ERI Execute Random Instruction
ERIC Eject Random Integrated Circuit
EROS Erase Read Only Storage "Sounds like an IBM
ESB Eject Selectric Ball "from IBM selectric
ESL Exceed Speed of Light
ETI Execute This Instruction [for recursive programs"
ETM Emulate Turing Machine
EVC Execute Verbal Commands
EWD Execute Warp Drive
EXX A real instruction on the Zilog Z-80 -Zilog is
owned by EXX on"
-- Same as B4 (NWphotog@Foxcomm.net), February 02, 2000
I am cleaning my C drive and ran across this, too. It's long - but worth a few chuckles
1 cylinder mind
12 shy of a dozen
A bad spot on the disk.
A couple of open splices.
A few beers short of a six-pack.
A few bits shy of a word.
A few bricks shy of a load.
A few cans short of a six pack.
A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
A little light in his loafers.
A loose chip on the micro processor.
A quart low.
About as bright as an LED.
About as sharp as a bowl of jello.
About as sharp as a bowling ball.
About as sharp as a sack of wet leather.
About fifteen cents short.
About three cents short of a dollar.
Air between the ears.
All booster - no payload.
All crown - no filling.
All his eggs in the same basket.
All his marbles in one bag.
All the lights don't shine in his marquis
An 8080 in a 68000 environment
As thick as two short planks.
Attic's a little dusty.
Back burners not fully operating.
Bad spot on the disk.
Banking at 9 a.m. (not meaningful since advent of ATMs)
Bats in the belfry
Body by Fisher - brains by Mattel
Braindamaged (courtesy of Bill Cosby, Himself)
CPU not connected to the bus.
Car's only got three wheels, and one's going flat.
Crazy as a loon.
Crazy as all get out.
Doesn't have all his dogs barking.
Doesn't have all of his groceries in the same bag.
Doesn't have all the dots on his dice.
Doesn't have both oars in the water.
Doesn't know if his biscuits (bread) are (is) all done.
Doesn't know which side of the toast the butter is on.
Don't have all your dogs barking.
Dosen't have enough sandwiches for a picnic.
Driving with two wheels in the sand.
Dumb as a box of rocks.
Echoes between the ears.
Elevator doesn't go all the way to the top floor.
Elevator doesn't go to the top floor.
Elevator doesn't make it to the penthouse.
Got a few tiles missing from his Space Shuttle.
Got a screw loose.
Got one boot stuck in the sand.
Got the mental agility of a soap dish.
Had a head crash.
Half a brick short of a full load.
Half a bubble off plumb.
Half a quart low.
Has a few screws loose.
Has a mind like a sieve
Has a room temperature IQ.
Has bats in his/her belfry.
Hasn't got all his china in the cupboard.
Hasn't got enough sense to come in out of the rain.
Hasn't got enough sense to stay out in the rain. ('60s flower child)
He ain't wrapped too tight.
He doesn't have both oars in the water.
He has both oars in the water, but on the same side of the boat!
He has signs on both ears saying Space for Rent
He has two brains. One is lost and the other is out looking for it.
He is only hitting on 7 cylinders.
He is playing hockey with a warped puck
He isn't playing with a full deck.
He left the store without all of his groceries.
He lost his trollies
He parked his head and forgot where he left it.
He's a a few bricks short of a full load
He's a couple of bricks short of a hod.
He's a couple of volts below threshold
He's about a half a bubble off plumb.
He's about as smart as bait...
He's dumber than a red brick.
He's flying on one engine.
He's got a few wait states.
He's got a mind like a steel trap - anything entering gets crushed and mangled
He's got a mind like a steel trap -- full of mice.
He's got a mind like a steel trap -- rusty and stuck closed.
He's got the attention span of an overripe grapefruit.
He's half a bubble off plumb
He's not digging in the same ditch with the rest of us!
He's not running on full thrusters.
He's reading off a empty disk
He's running at 400 baud
He's swapped out.
He's two tacos short of a combination plate.
He's working with an unformatted disk
Her antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.
His chimney's clogged.
His elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
His elevator doesn't make it to the penthouse.
His elevator doesn't make it to the top floor
His elevator doesn't stop at every floor.
His elevator is stuck between floors.
His little red choo choo done jumped the track.
His receiver is off the hook.
His skylight leaks a little.
His/her dialing thumb must be broken.
His/her reset line is glitching.
How 'bout There's no wind in the windmills of his mind.
How about The porch light is on, but there's nobody home
If (his/her) IQ was 2 points higher (he/she) would be a rock.
If brains were dynamite he couldn't blow his hat off.
If brains were dynamite, he/she wouldn't have enough to blow his/her nose.
If he had another brain, it'd be lonely.
If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.
In a world of Hard Disks, he/she is using a 1S-2D floppy for brains.
In the shopping mall of the mind, he's in the toy department.
Isn't playing with a full deck.
It would be easier to count the bricks left than the bricks missing!
Judging by the old saying, "What you don't know can't hurt you", s/he's practically invulnerable.
Leads 3 & 4 (RS-232) permanently connected to ground.
Light not buring too bright.
Lights are on but no one's home
Loony as a jay bird.
Loose chip in the micro processor.
Loose wire to headset/ringer.
Lugnuts rattling in the hubcaps.
Mainspring's wound too tight.
Missing a few catalog cards.
Missing a few gears.
Missing a few marbles.
Mouth is in gear, brain is in neutral.
Nice house not much furniture.
Nice house, but nobody home.
Nice house, nobody home.
Nine pence in the shilling.
No one at the throttle.
Not firing on all four (six) (eight) cylinders.
Not firing on all thrusters..
Not hitting on all cylinders.
Not playing with a full deck.
Not playing with a full deck? .... he's not even in the game!
Not too tightly wrapped.
Nothing between the stethoscopes.
Nutty as a fruitcake
Off his/her rocker.
Off your rocker.
Oil doesn't reach his dipstick
On the batting end of a no-hitter.
One brick shy of a load.
One shingle shy a roof.
Only got one oar in the water.
Only operating at about half a watt.
Only playing with 51 cards.
Only playing with the jokers.
Over the Rainbow
Paddling with one oar.
Paralyzed from the neck up.
Pin 8 is floating.
Playing hockey with a warped puck.
Raw cookie dough.
Renewable energy source for hot air ballons.
Riding a tippy canoe.
Running on empty.
Sailboat fuel for brains.
Sending back packets, but the checksums are wrong.
Sharp as a bowling ball.
She was minus so many buttons ...
Short a few cards.
Six bricks short of a full load.
Six shy of a dozen.
Skating on the wrong side of the ice.
Some bugs in his software.
Some drink form the fountain of knowledge, but he just gargled.
Somebody else is doing the driving for that boy!
Someone blew out his pilot light
Surfing in Nebraska
Teflon brain (nothing sticks)
The brains of a house plant
The caboose seems to be pulling the engine.
The carnival has closed.
The cheese has slid off his cracker.
The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
The going got weird and he turned pro.
The lights are on but nobody's home.
The smoke doesn't make it to the top of his chimney.
The synapses are about that far apart.
There's a leak in his ceiling
Thick as a brick.
Too much yardage between the goal posts.
Toys in the attic
Two bits shy of a word.
Vacancy on the top floor.
Was hiding behind the door when they passed out brains.
Welcome light on, but noone home.
When he plays poker, it's hard to tell whether he has an ace up his sleeve or if the ace is missing from his deck altogether.
You can hear the wind whistling through his ears.
Your clock doesn't have all its numbers.
Your little red choo-choo's gone chugging 'round the bend.
Please fill out and mail this card within 10 days of purchase
Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In
order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to
fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop
new products that best meet your needs and desires.
1. _Mr. _Mrs. _Ms. _Miss _Lt. _Gen. _Comrade _Classified _Other
First Name____________________Initial____Last Name_________________________
Altitude________________________Password, Code Name, Etc.__________________
2. Which model aircraft did you purchase?
_F-14 Tomcat _F-15 Eagle _F-16 Falcon _F-19A Stealth _Classified
3. Date of purchase: Month___________Day___________Year____________
4. Serial Number____________________
5. Please check where this product was purchased:
_Received as Gift/Aid Package
_Sleazy Arms Broker
6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you
have just purchased:
_Heard loud noise, looked up
_Recommended by friend/relative/ally
_Political lobbying by Manufacturer
_Was attacked by one
7. Please check the three (3) factors which most influenced your
decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
_Recommended by salesperson
_McDonnell Douglas Reputation
_Advanced Weapons Systems
_Negative experience opposing one in combat
8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
_Misc. Third-World Countries
9. Please check the products that you currently own, or intend to purchase
in the near future:
Product Own Intend to purchase
10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? Check all
_Corrupt (Latin American)
11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product?
_Suitcases of Cocaine
12. Occupation You Your Spouse
13. To help us understand our Customers' lifestyles, please indicate
the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy
participating on a regular basis:
Activity/Interest You Your Spouse
Default on Loans
Watching Sports on TV
Mutually Assured Destruction
Thanks for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your
answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell
Douglas serve you better in the future -- as well as allowing you to
receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments,
extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.
Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:
McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis, MO 55500
- - - - - - Digiterata - - - - - - -
Go placidly amid the bytes and bits;
And remember what peace there may be in a power failure.
As far as possible without surrender;
Modify your software until it works the way the software house advertised.
Speak your truth quietly & clearly; and listen to others;
Even FORTH programmers and members of other sects;
They too have their story.
Avoid RPG and FORTRAN hackers; they're a vexation of the spirit.
If you compare your code with that of other programmers;
You may become vain and bitter;
For always there will be greater and lesser than yourself.
Enjoy your Atari as well as your Apple.
Keep the faith with your SWTP system;
It is a real antique in the ever changing technologies.
Exercise caution when booting your system;
For the floppy disk is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
Even UNIX gurus strive for high ideals;
Even though their quest is futile;
Their life is full of heroism. Be honest;
Your computer knows the truth.
Especially do not run emulators;
For even an 8 MHz Z-80 can't impersonate a Cray.
Neither be cynical about MS-DOS;
For in the face of all time it is but a butterfly.
Take kindly the counsel of the S-100 buffs;
Surrendering their knowledge of superior systems.
They too run CP/M.
Retain backups to shield you during the rains of winter.
But do not distress yourself with imaginings of power failures yet to come.
When they hit;
Accept them kindly and kick neither the cat; the child; nor the spouse.
They may all kick back.
You are a child of the computer revolution;
Unlike Morrow or Wozniak; you have no right to be here.
And whether or not it's clear to you;
AT&T and IBM will be overcome as they should.
Be at peace with your Commodore; whatever you conceive it to be.
In the end you will trade them all for a terminal, a modem, and
Access to a mainframe channel.
With all its drudgery & broken dreams;
The 256K is still a beautiful chip.
---------- Technorata ------------
Hack placidly amidst the noisy printers and remember what prizes there
may be in Science. As fast as possible get a good terminal on a good
system. Enter your data clearly but always encrypt your results. And
listen to others, even the dull and ignorant, for they may be your
customers. Avoid loud and agressive persons, for they are sales reps.
If you compare your outputs with those of others, you may be surprised,
for always there will be greater and lesser numbers than you have
crunched. Keep others interested in your career, and try not to
fumble; it can be a real hassle and could change your fortunes in time.
Exercise system control in your experiments, for the world is full of
bugs. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons
strive for linearity and everywhere papers are full of approximations.
Strive for proportionality. Especially, do not faint when it occurs.
Neither be cyclical about results; for in the face of all data analysis
it is sure to be noticed.
Take with a grain of salt the anomalous data points. Gracefully pass
them on to the youth at the next desk. Nurture some mutual funds to
shield you in times of sudden layoffs. But do not distress yourself
with imaginings--the real bugs are enough to screw you badly. Murphy's
Law runs the Universe--and whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt
<Curl>B*n dS = 0.
Therefore, grab for a piece of the pie, with whatever proposals you
can conceive of to try. With all the crashed disks, skewed data,
and broken line printers, you can still have a beautiful secretary.
Be linear. Strive to stay employed.
-- SEE ABOVE (Moreof@THE.SAME), February 02, 2000.
My favorite topic! My hobby! My job! My true love! My life (well, most of it!)!
CONSIDER THIS THREAD STOLEN!
Anoher very big grin tonight... <:)))=
-- Sysman (firstname.lastname@example.org), February 02, 2000.
Thanks folks! Brought a much needed grin! I have dabbled in FORTH from time to time and indeed still have some of that ancient SWTP- 6800 gear. Always great to share a laugh.
-- Al (email@example.com), February 02, 2000.
Moderation questions? read the FAQ