Hidden Talents

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Is there something you thought you were really good at until someone pointed out just how horrible you truly were?

Are you able to laugh at yourself in these times, or do you run back to your room crying and telling the world to go to hell?

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

Answers

Well, it's not exactly a talent, but I hate it when people tell me my hair is not as red as I like to pretend it is.

I've also given up playing strategy/thought games like chess, etc. because (1) people get pissed off at me taking so long with each turn, and (2) because I like to tell myself I'm smart so I hate losing.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000


I liked to think of myself as fairly hip for my age. And then I find out there are so many things I just don't know about, like beatboxing. So much for me and my hipness. Damn.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

I can bite my toenails.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

Ok, two things. I'm 25 and my boyfriend is 37. I always thought i was pretty well-versed in things like movies and music from when he was a teen but we'll start talking and he'll mention something and i'll give him a totally blank stare. Then i feel really stupid. Which is better than him because he ends up feeling old. :)

The worst is that i always thought i could really dress but he sometimes points out that my socks, though they are a similar shade, don't actually match. Or that you can't wear this blouse with that blazer because the colors are "scary" together. Or today i put on burgundy socks, thinking i would dress all in black and at the last minute i put on a baby blue sweater set and only realized at work that i was still wearing burgundy socks. He just shook his head and said "Sherry man... I don't know about those socks..."

Sigh. I wonder just how i attracted him before he became my live-in boyfriend/fashion consultant.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000


When I was nine I thought I had a KICK-ASS Margaret Thatcher imitation, so I went around repeating this one line in her voice. No one was kind enough to tell me I was terrible... had to figure that one out for myself. I think people thought their horrified glances would kindly say it all.

Oh, i can laugh now. Finally.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000



I always thought I could sing pretty good. I even recorded a song with a few friends. The illusion was upheld until I heard the recording. It wasn't just one of those "Oh, I guess my voice sounds different in real life" deals, either. I wanted to curl up and die.

That and I used to think I did a pretty good Cartman (South Park) impression... until someone finally informed me I sounded like a pre- pubescent kid on crack. (which actually might fit the character pretty well... but hey...)

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000


I've always thought that I was a really good cook. Then I made chicken noodle soup for my BF and I used pasta shells and when we went to eat it there was no stock left and all the shells had swollen up so badly he stills calls it 'bathing caps soup'... I laughed. The next time his father and nephew were coming for lunch and I thought I'd show him so I made chicken rice soup. When we sat down to eat the rice had soaked up all the stock and his nephew was genuinely excited about having 'chicken stir fry' for lunch... I laughed. Finally, he loves banana bread, but I was tired of making it the same way every Sunday so, for a change, I wanted to add some chocolate chipits. There were none in the house, but I did manage to locate a bag of M&Ms so I threw those in instead. After dinner I served the banana bread to him and his friends and no one would try it! I enquired as to why and the bravest of his friends explained that he had warned them about my cooking, and, while examining the banana bread, they had decided that the orange bits were grated carrots, the green bits grated peppers and they even guessed the red bits might even be jalapenos!... I moved out.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

I can...
Ahem.
Put my ankles behind my neck. Makes for interesting sexual positi...

That was out loud.

My bad. Did I mention that I can also choke on my hip?

-Meghan

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

Well, I can wiggle my ears one at a time. I think that is how I managed to snag my husband to be. He really likes girls with strange talents.

*wiggle wiggle left ear* *wiggle wiggle right ear*

Damn I'm good.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000


I can do the geek laugh like nobody's business. I've been cast in shows just for my laugh. Not my real laugh mind you, my real laugh is quite feminine and delicate while still remaining sexy. My fake laugh is the famous one.

And I have to ask. What the hell is beatboxing? It has nothing to do with Billy Blanks does it?

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000



Beatboxing. You know, when you put your hands to your mouth and make music like the old-school rap artists did. think bobby mcferrin meets the fat boys.

the fat boys did it all the time.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000


I can bounce tennis balls off the inside of my elbow and catch it. My Dad taught me how to do this, his father taught him. I guess I get to pass it on...:) Actually, I just finished watching Freaks and Geeks and the gym teacher does this in the episode...near the middle I think.

-- Anonymous, January 31, 2000

I can do The People's Eyebrow. I'm able to move my eyebrows independantly of one another, and I have been known to wither people with just one well executed eyebrow-raise. Words are not necessary when your brows can do the talking for you.

Perhaps I should have listed this talent under why I'm so sexy.

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2000


hmm, how to explain this accurately?

In college, I learned that I can "play" the Star-Spangled Banner by making fart noises into my inner elbow with my mouth. It's a distant cousin to beatboxing.

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2000


Hey, now. This has drifted. It's supposed to be things we thought we were good at, but turn out to suck at, once our friends got up the courage to point it out to us.

I have been told that I have, from time to time, a serious tact deficit and a really vicious sense of humor. I always think of myself as the peace-maker, but my main method of defusing situations where people are angry at each other is to get them all angry at me.

Which kind of works, if you don't mind people being angry at you.

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2000



I *used* to think I could play word games (scrabble, boggle, etc) then one day, my boyfriend had just gotten home from the hospital, and I went over to visit him... He challenged me to a game of Scrabble, and I'm thinking: Okee, no big deal... this'll be easy, I minored in English, this jock has got nothing on me. He kicked my ass 37 ways from Sunday. He beat me in Scrabble by over 100 points, in both games. I will never be overconfident or cocky again.

-- Anonymous, February 01, 2000

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