OT: (Fig) Newton's Laws (for moms and dads) (Humor)

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The following is lifted from Parenting magazine's February 2000 issue: Sir Isaac Newton may have discovered the laws of gravity, but we've discovered a paralled set of laws that govern moms and dads: 1) A child's bevavior will improve in proportion to the distance she's away from the parent. 2) Two is equal to two... except when referring to:
TIME: Two minutes of tantrum lasts twenty times as long as two minutes of quiet time.
FOOD: The 2.2 ounces of vanilla ice cream served to an older sibling are always greater than the 2.2 ounces of vanilla ice cream served to a younger one. 3) The choice of a preschooler's best friend corresponds directly to the distance the friend lives from your house. 4) A child's enjoyment of popular entertainment will be inversely proportionate to the parent's enjoyment. 5) The likelihood of a surprise visit by your parents-in-law is directly proportional to the size of the mess in your home. 6) A child will always eat exactly what she has loved for the past year--unless it is the only food in the fridge. 7) When it comes to sharing childcare responsibilities and running a household--all things being equal--nothing is equal. 8) Each additional moment of saying goodbye to a crying baby increases the misery of parent and child exponentially. 9) The ease with which a toddler acquires the ability to say a word increases with its likelihood to embarrass a sailor. 10) In a family of more than one child, each one is the parent's favorite. For anyone interested, here's the link to Parenting online.

-- Steve (hartsman@ticon.net), January 27, 2000


I have no idea why that didn't format properly. And sorry for any misspelling(s).

-- Steve (hartsman@ticon.net), January 27, 2000.

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