This guy is walking down the street, stumbles into a dirty bottle, picks it up, rubs it against his sleeve and a genie pops out. You got one wish, fella, says the genie.

Well, the guy says, My business failed, my house burned down, my car was stolen and my wife left me - taking my dog and cleaning out my bank account. I could sure use a change of luck.

You got it, says the genie, and pops back into the bottle.

Well, the guy doesnt take ten steps before he spots a $100 bill lying on the sidewalk. He takes it into a 7-11, puts it down on an instant winner and walks out with $15,000.

Man, with luck like this, I think Ill try the Kentucky Derby. He sees a horse there named Lucky 7 (at 100 to 1) and puts the whole wad on him to win.

Now hes a millionaire. I just gotta celebrate, he says, Think Ill go down to the local dating service and squire some lovely out for dinner.

As he walks in the door, streamers start flying, music blares and they put a glass of campaign in his hand. Youre our lucky 5000th customer. the madam says, Your evening is totally on us. Whats youre desire?

Well, he says, Ive always had a fancy to go out with one of those Indian ladies. Theyre so stately and dignified looking in their saris, you know.

We have just the ticket, and out comes this ravishing beauty. Youre truly exquisite, says the guy, but do you need to have that red spot on your forehead? Its a bit embarrassing to me.

No sir, for this evening Ill make an exception. Its just a red clay caste mark, scratch it off if you wish.

So he scratches it off, looks closely and starts laughing uproariously. Youre not going to believe this, but Ive just won a new car.

-- elskon (elskon@bigfoot.com), January 26, 2000