Any tips on making new friends - One of my personal goals this year is to meet new people (I still love my old friends but I'd like to have more.) To be honest my knees are knocking at the thought doing of all that introductory stuff!! I'ts not that i'm not friendly more that i'm shy and so can come accross as a little stand-offish at first!

If only it were as easy as when we were kids huh? you know: I like Mars Bars - you like Mars Bars - lets be friends for eternity kinda stuff! : )

If you reply - your the greatest

-- Anonymous, January 25, 2000

Answers

Unfortunately there's no easy answer to this one. You can't force it, friendship is like a relationship, there has to be a 'click' and then they tend to just happen. Your best bets are work, gym, nightclasses/college and friends of friends. Have fun!

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Several months ago I tried going to some night classes to broaden my circle of friends. I was desperate to get out of the house, but did not want to visit a "meet" market. Unfortunately, I felt the class was a bust. The topic was improving your conversational skills. Although most of the class really needed to improve these skills, I don't think many benefited. I tried talking to several people there with about as much success as talking to a brick wall. Fortuantely, the one person I did have an interesting conversation with is now my boss. A week after the class, she called me in for a interview and a week later, extended a job offer. So I guess the experience was not a total bust.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

Well, the usual lame, hard-to-do kind of stuff: Dance classes. Volunteer at a local community theater. Join a dojo. Start playing Magic, the Gathering at your local game store. Start a web journal, then once you're famous, sponsor/host a gathering of local journallers.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

How to make friends. Well.

Start a journal.

Oh you mean, like people that you can see face to face every once in awhile. I can't help you there.

-- Anonymous, January 26, 2000

I think it's best not to concentrate too much on making friends, but rather on putting yourself in situations where you'll be around new (and hopefully interesting) people, and then some of those people might become friends. You might audit some courses at the local university in stuff you're interested in anyway, and then you can study with people who seem to have friend potential...

Another good way is to have people over. I know it sounds dumb - I'm not suggesting that you invite strangers - but if you have people over, then those people will invite you to things at their houses, and you'll get to know your friends' friends (who are the best bets for compatibility anyway). Also, it's fun in and of itself.

-- Anonymous, January 29, 2000

Having moved to a new area recently, I set myself the objective of meeting new people (and making new friends) a few months ago. I agree with Joanne that it's better not to focus on making friends as much as it is to put yourself into situations where you meet new people. That way you put yourself under less pressure, I think. One idea I had -- to find a reading group through a local bookstore or library. Unfortunately, I haven't managed to locate one yet. :-)

The most success I've had so far -- I went to a party during the holidays where I met a woman who is an editor (like me) and I suggested we have dinner. Which we did, this week, and hit it off pretty well. One good thing is that there seem to be other people out there who are interested in getting to know new people.

-- Anonymous, January 29, 2000