Top Ten Reasons Lois Lane Is Dumping Superman

10. She's now totally deaf in one ear because of his super snoring

9. Every time he left toilet seat up, blamed it on Clark Kent

8. Always making wisecracks about how his X-ray vision couldn't penetrate her meat loaf

7. Has no problem stopping a powerful locomotive, but try asking him to mow the lawn

6. His insistence that the kids be raised super

5. Won't ask directions even after he's been flying around lost for hours

4. He always had to go "stop a tidal wave" whenever her parents were in town

3. Lex Luthor may be evil, but at least he has a car

2. Saw him barhopping in the Village in a Wonder Woman outfit

1. Tired of excuses like "There must be some kryptonite under the bed."

-- eve (123@4567.com), January 08, 2000