Alabama:
Yes, We Have Electricity

Alaska:
11,623 Eskimos Can't Be Wrong!

Arizona:
But It's a Dry Heat

Arkansas:
Litterasy Ain't Everthing

California:
By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda

Colorado:
If You Don't Ski, Don't Bother

Connecticut:
Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedys Don't Own It Yet

Delaware:
We Really Do Like The Chemicals.

Florida:
Ask Us About Our Grandkids

Georgia:
We Put The "Fun" Back In Fundamentalism

Hawaii:
Haka Tiki Mou Sha'ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)

Idaho:
More Than Just Potatoes... Well, Okay, We're Not, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good

Illinois:
Please Don't Pronounce the "S"

Indiana:
2 Billion Years Tidal Wave-Free

Iowa:
We Do Amazing Things With Corn

Kansas:
First Of The Rectangle States

Kentucky:
Five Million People, Fifteen Last Names

Louisiana:
We're Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That's Our Tourism Campaign

Maine:
We're Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster

Maryland:
If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It

Massachusetts:
Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden's (For Most Tax Brackets)

Michigan:
First Line Of Defense From The Canadians

Minnesota:
10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000 Mosquitoes

Mississippi:
Come Feel Better About Your Own State

Missouri:
Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work

Montana:
Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber & Right-Wing Crazies

Nebraska:
Ask About Our State Motto Contest

Nevada:
Call Girls and Poker!

New Hampshire:
Spend Your Money, Then Go Away And Leave Us Alone

New Jersey:
You Want A #$%# Motto? I Got Yer #$%# Motto Right Here!

New Mexico:
Lizards Make Excellent Pets

New York:
You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney...

North Carolina:
Tobacco Is A Vegetable

North Dakota:
We Really Are One Of The 50 States!

Ohio:
At Least We're Not Michigan

Oklahoma:
Like The Play, Only No Singing

Oregon:
Spotted Owl... It's What's For Dinner

Pennsylvania:
Cook With Coal

Rhode Island:
We're Not REALLY An Island

South Carolina:
Remember The Civil War? Well, We Didn't Actually Surrender

South Dakota:
Closer Than North Dakota

Tennessee:
The Edjucashun State

Texas:
Si, Habla Ingles

Utah:
Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus

Vermont:
Ayuh

Virginia:
Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don't Mix?

Washington:
Help! We're Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!

Washington, D.C.:
Wanna Be Mayor?

West Virginia:
One Big Happy Family... Really!

Wisconsin:
Come Cut The Cheese

Wyoming:
Where Men Are Men... And The Sheep Are Not happy! Okay...something for everybody to flame about!!
Fire away!

-- Jay Urban (Jayho99@aol.com), January 07, 2000

Answers

I hereby submit that New Jersey has the best motto, hands down. Thanks Jay, that was fun!

-- kritter (kritter@adelphia.net), January 07, 2000.

HILARIOUS! riotous. printing it out now :>) Thanks.

-- SH (squirrel@huntr.com), January 07, 2000.

You've got Wisconsin's wrong. It's:

"Come to Wisconsin, the 'dairy state', and smell our 'dairy aire'"

-- Dennis (djolson@pressenter.com), January 07, 2000.

Jay, You got Alaska wrong--the offical motto, "Alaska,Where the women are men and the men are animals!" Hawaii's motto---"No Japanee, No can!: Montana----Few Women and our sheep are frightened! New York--"There is a real world out there but we don't know about it!" Iowa- "Where the farmers keep their daughters home and send the hogs to school" California----"the nerdy or needy state" New Mexico---"New but still Mexican". Texas-"Big but not as big as our ego's!" Idaho--- "He is still alive!" Florida--It may sound like Long Island but it's not!" Mass---'potato famine,Never again!" West Virginia---Where everybody looks like somebody in the family knew somebody in the family!" Delaware---Where multinationals rule!" Georgia--"Ya'll didn't see the stop sign?" Washington DC. "Fighting crime used to be our business!" Oregon--When it's all cut we are moving to Brazil!" Utah --Bringem young and bringem nubile!" Penn.---English is our second language!" Minnisota--"Swedes helping Norweigens"! Nebraska--"The dust bowl never ended!" Indiana--"We built it but their still not coming!" British Columbia---"Dead! I thought she was English!" (Ya, not a state but close!)Arkansas--"Fooled ya once didn't we?" Illinois---"still Windy!" Feel free to revise or add .

-- Old Kahuna (the real one) (eating beans@never hungry again.com), January 07, 2000.

Let me tell you a story about BC

We are currently suffering under the incompetent leadership of a two- term New Democratic Party (NDP) provincial gov't. This is the kind of party that couldn't organize a beer-fest in a brewery!

Don't believe me? Ask Brian (imager@home.com) about our "fast ferries"!

ANYWAY...

When the USS STENNIS visited our lovely province, our local breed of longhaired, dope-smoking, hippie-freaks protested the presence of such a beautiful warship!

A political cartoon soon appeared (Adrian Raeside's) portraying the STENNIS at anchor, with a tour guide, and a small knot of tourists, on the flight deck... and this is what he was saying...

"...AND THE USS STENNIS HAS THE DESTRUCTIVE CAPABILITY EQUAL TO THREE NDP GOVERNMENTS."

I'm not kidding--the premier of Alberta just last year said of our "ex-premier" that this man was the UNOFFICIAL minister of economic development for Alberta!

LOL!

Hence the official Prov. of Alberta motto: "THE ONLY PROVINCE IN CANADA BORDERING ON A COMMUNIST COUNTRY"

-- (Kurt.Borzel@gems8.gov.bc.ca), January 07, 2000.