[Ellen - Y2K has only just BEGUN, and it's slowly but steadily accelerating toward you...!]

So much for the hype - Y2K is old hat already

By Ellen Goodman,
Boston Globe Columnist,
1/6/2000

Well, so much for that millennium. The electricity is humming, the water is flowing, the computer - that designated litmus test of modern society - is up and running.

Those who were waiting for the other shoe/bomb/economy to drop can start sharing the cans of tuna and sacks of rice that Ed Yourdon, the author of ''Time Bomb 2000,'' stored in his New Mexico retreat.

As for me, I plan to use my security bottle of water for coffee. The logs that I bought, sheepishly, at Home Depot can be burned for atmosphere instead of heat, and, hey, we can always use another flashlight.

The millennium arrived, and arrived, and arrived, one time zone after another, in a sequence of fireworks and anxieties across the globe. Now several workdays into the millennium, many of the most Y2K-wary have exhaled a collective ''Whew.''

The worst news so far is the $91,250 fee for a video that a store computer in Albany figured was a hundred years overdue. The Godiva chocolate company found its cash registers briefly shut down, but that was probably the result of a dieting hacker.

Of course, a number of Americans had the hubris to be disappointed. ''There was all this hype of the millennium, the talk of terrorist attacks and Y2K,'' said a Chicago waitress who felt let down. ''The media built everything up and really it was just another day.''

I suppose it's inevitable that Y2K compliance is followed by some Y2K rebellion. It's like boarding up the windows before a hurricane. You never quite know whether the work was what kept the house intact. We'll never know if the estimated $100 billion we spent to fix things kept the world running. And no one gives medals for glitches averted.

Nevertheless, someone should introduce the waitress to the ancient Chinese curse, ''May you live in interesting times.'' I prefer Energy Secretary Bill Richardson's view that in this case, ''dull is good.''

The remarkable thing to me is not that the phone is working or that I put the right date on my first check. It's that the millennium fuss seems to be over as fast as the cleanup in Times Square.

Ever since I was born, the year 2000 has represented the future. Now the future is not only here, it's passe.

Remember the brand names that once held the glitter of tomorrow? Gateway 2000 has now become plain old Gateway. Shell Oil isn't even selling is SU2000 gas. The microwave popcorn, the beauty products, the air freshener, the drill bits, the woodworking tools that carried 2000 in their moniker have dropped the date. The date is already dated.

As one consultant told The Boston Globe's Ross Kerber, ''Anything that says `2000' on it could seem backward-looking.''

Backward to the future? We sped through this landmark like passengers on a bullet train, eagerly peering ahead for the glimpse of the future only to get whiplash as it turned into the past.

This is the fact of the fast-forward era. It isn't just our private lives that have accelerated, it's the world.

Remember Bill Clinton? The man who talked incessantly about the next century, which is the present century, is already history. When he comes on the television these days, there is the aura of surprise: He's still here. With an entire year, one-eighth of his days, left in office, he's yesterday.

The campaign 2000? People have barely tuned in to the next presidential election; candidates have already come and gone. The first primary is weeks away, but with politics at warp speed, it's old news by January and all over by March. Anyone for 2004?

As for old news itself, that oxymoron of journalism? In this business, there isn't even a news cycle, but a continuously dated and updated conveyer belt that rushes past the present.

Back in the ancient 20th century, we grumbled about planned obsolescence of technology. Now we have unplanned obsolescence, a race in which one ''improvement'' is biting the heels of last.

In the computer world, the state of the art is the state of the moment. In fashion and culture, a generation is compressed into a year, and we recycle so quickly that the 1990s are due for a revival if not for nostalgia.

While you open the cans of tuna and bottles of distilled water, consider this. On New Year's Eve someone bid $10 million on eBay for a Web site called Year2000.com. A couple of days later the only bid for Year2000AD.com was a mere $25,000.

So, Happy New Year and make it snappy. This year is going, going, gone.

Ellen Goodman is a Globe columnist. [ENDS]

-- John Whitley (jwhitley@inforamp.net), January 07, 2000

Answers

Lucky thing Ellen Goodman works in Boston and wasn't trying to fly out of Boston this week; she would of had to wait and wait and wait. It seems the FAA had a ....dare I say it....computer glitch and they had to shut down the three airports in Washington DC area, which in turn delayed flights in over 1/3 of the entire Eastern seaboard. Airports this week to experience down time from computer glitches are: Kennedy, La Guardia, Newark, Philadelphia, Logan, Nashua, Dulles,Reagan,National and O'Hare. Hum?

-- meg davis (meg9999@aol.com), January 07, 2000.

My guess is her date couldn't get it up for New Years.. a true Y2K failure...

But then again, if her butt is as ugly as the spirit that wrote this, who could have?

-- Carl (clilly@goentre.com), January 07, 2000.

carl:

what a comment. you are a bitter bitter bitter person. are you so disappointed the world didnt end? ohhh poor carl. stocked up on beans and rice and sat by the shortwave eagerly awaiting news of the meltdown that never came.

well, cheer up sourpuss! lets see a smile! atta boy! think about it: maybe the world will end in your lifetime! then you will be proven right and you can die happy! in the meantime maybe you can amuse yourself by hating and despising everyone who doesnt subscribe to your narrow little point of view. you seem well equipped for the task.

-- simon the great (asdf@asdf.asd), January 07, 2000.

This is an incredibly dumb and uninformative piece. Why did she even bother to write it?

-- cgbg jr (cgbgjr@webtv.net), January 07, 2000.

Er, to get paid?

Why bother to get worked up about it?

-- Servant (public_service@yahoo.com), January 07, 2000.

wait just a darn minute. Disparaging her as a journalist pisses me off. I may not agree with her on this column, but her overall track record is exemplary. We all have our opinions about Y2K, and we should be grateful that the roll over was a relative BITR.

If the paper cuts continue in a large number, I suspect Ellen Goodman will get it.

-- Nancy (wellsnl@hotmail.com), January 07, 2000.

I bet Carl was her date!!!!!!!!!!

-- (I'm@pol.ly), January 07, 2000.

Gee, yeah, the airport thing. I can't remember the last time I had a two-hour delay flying out of New York or Washington. Can't see how civilization is gonna survive that one.

Oh, wait a minute--we just did.

-- Craig Kenneth Bryant (ckbryant@mindspring.com), January 07, 2000.

....."wait just a darn minute. Disparaging her as a journalist pisses me off. I may not agree with her on this column, but her overall track record is exemplary. "

.....Sorry, Nancy; Goodman is a hack of the worst sort, concealing her feminist opinions as news while thinking that she was so clever at it that nobody notices. Anything from the left, and it's all fine and dandy, but the minute something shows the truth from what the right has to say, she becomes instantly shrill with standard ad hom attack writing. The sad part is that there's anyone in this country that's naive enough to believe her trot.

-- Patrick (pmchenry@gradall.com), January 07, 2000.

Why certainly Patrick, we should all listen to you, right? Unlike Ms. Goodman you are a nationally recognized voice of reason and truth, correct? NOT. What you are is just a dipshit wannabe that wouldnt know a fact if it slapped you upside the head. Crawl forth and return to your dark place.

-- Look (at@the.facts), January 07, 2000.

....."Why certainly Patrick, we should all listen to you, right? Unlike Ms. Goodman you are a nationally recognized voice of reason and truth, correct? NOT. What you are is just a dipshit wannabe that wouldnt know a fact if it slapped you upside the head. Crawl forth and return to your dark place"

.....For your information, I DO have a national audience, however, it will probably never get to be the size of the above mentioned "journalist" as I refuse to prostitute my integrity in the fashion required to be in such a league. I typically don't respond to anonymous moronic comment that is completely without substance, but in your pathetic case, I'll treat you as the exception. Come from behind your curtain and articulate a proper argument, or get back under the bridge.

-- Patrick (pmchenry@gradall.com), January 07, 2000.

'prostitute my integrity'. I may never stop laughing.

-- Look (at@the.facts), January 07, 2000.

.....But YOU"RE still anonymous, aren't you chuckles?

-- Patrick (pmchenry@gradall.com), January 07, 2000.