Mars and Venus or Not.greenspun.com : LUSENET : Squishy : One Thread
A couple of days ago I started reading Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus. I'm about half way through it, and I'm finding some of the ideas in it very interesting, although people look at me kind of funny when I read it on the train. I was wondering whether any other faithful Squishy readers have read it. What did you think? Did it relate at all to you and your significant other? Or was it all a load of stereotypical babble?
-- Anonymous, January 05, 2000
Hey Jackie...yep..I have read several in the series actually...and while there is actually a lot I could say about them..I will try to keep it short; although I know everyone here enjoys boring blather.
Yes, the book is full of stereotypes, but that is not a bad thing. We are able to relate things to our own lives when they are presented with such clear examples of behavior..even stereotypical. And stereotypes usually are there because they have some truth to them...somewhere.
What I really found most interesting is that many of the traits and behaviors applied to women mostly...described many of my actions perfectly; although not exclusively by any means. And likewise for my wife. We found that just having general knowledge of certain behaviors that He had taken the time to research and think out..thus saving us the time and effort..were very useful in recognising patterns that before might have been threatening, but now just seem like typical coping tools that are no longer a threat because they are recognised for what they are. No..don't ask me to write a non-run- on sentence.*grin* Oh, the grammar queen is gonna kill me now.
So, although I have made very little sense here, lets see if I can conclude this. I think there is some very valuable information in the books gleaned from a lot of research and observation and hard work that one would be wise to take the good and apply it, and throw out the bad that does not apply to them. Backlash is inevitable..especially here in the states where Mr. Gray is a bit overexposed. But his message is invaluable...communication is the key..and learning the tools for effective communication with your mate is essential for growth and happiness....Is the Mars/Venus metaphor hoaky as hell?..Yes, beyond belief. That, for example, would be one of those great things to ignore..definitely.
Blah,Blah,Blah--have I made any sense whatsoever?..Ask if you have a specific question...I will be glad to blather some more. Cheers.
-- Anonymous, January 06, 2000
I've read the book, and I would say there is a lot of useful information in it if you leave out the gender-stereotyping that the author has indulged in.
As was mentioned above, the author has done a lot of valuable research in human patterns of behavior. He also suggests good ways to respond harmoniously to situations that could otherwise lead to fights, bad feeling, stress.
But a lot of what he assigns to women also applies to men and vice versa. He acknowledges this in the beginning of the book, and then happily stresses his ridiculous gender stereotypes and Norman Mailer- type determinism through the rest of the book.
So I found it to be useful, but you have to read it with more than a few grains of salt. For me, one book was enough to get the idea.
-- Anonymous, January 10, 2000