Having read a few posts about the seriousness of Y2K, my family and I organized a few drills to help us get ready for whatever disruptions we may encounter for The Year Two Thousand. I am going to share a few and hopefully this will help some people get some ideas, and maybe motivate them to list some of their own experiences.

First off, we knew that there might be a power outage. So, last weekend I turned off the main breaker to our house for eight hours to give us an idea of what it might be like to have no power. We realized that our entire life would be altered if these modern day convienences were not working properly. It really forced us to take a moment of reflection and I suggest everyone try this once before the new year. We take so many things for granted, and it really goes to show how enslaved we are to technology.

Next, my wife suggested that there could be power surges, causing some appliances to go haywire, and start a fire. So, while the kids were asleep, I poured a half a pint of lighter fluid on the back of the television and set it ablaze. I then ranning screaming upstairs to my oldest son's room, and woke him up. I told him that there was a fire downstairs and he needed to find the fire extinguisher and put it out before we all died. He cried for about two minutes before I finally dumped the water from the fishtank on the tv and put out the flames. It was really an elightening experience, and, needless to say, that is one four year old kid who will always know where the fire extinguisher is in our house from now on!

So, I thought about the possibility of rioting gangs. Last night I paid two friends of mine fifty dollars each to break into my house at 3:00am and start tearing up the place. My wife freaked out!! She couldn't find the gun, and then realized it was unloaded, and then when she finally did get the bullets in the darn thing she didn't know how to work it! Man, if it weren't for the quick thinking of my ten year old we would have been in serious trouble! He grabbed his shotgun and plugged BOTH my buddies. Man, I couldn't even tell you how relieved I was to know that in a desperate situation our family can really stick together!

One more thing I wanted to have an emergency plan for was the possible HAZMAT accident. I wasn't sure what was around our community that might be dangerous to me and my family, during the Y2K rollover. I figured a good way to mimic a disaster would be to buy a few bottles of Hydrochloric acid and sort of sprinkle them around. Then I smashed a football sized hole in the back of the microwave and set it on high. Finally I opened up the propane tank we keep for our grill and let it leak out into the den for a while. This was really the most interesting test of all because after an hour or so I realized that I didn't even know what to do. I really lacked a little forethought in this endevour. But after the firefighters and police evacuated the houses surrounding mine, and we were all a safe distance away, they took care of the problem double quick time. I can't really say if this was a successful drill or not, but it definatley made my kids cautious of the unknown! They won't even come near me anymore, and my youngest daughter has started wetting the bed at night.

I think sometime this week we are going to work on sniper attacks, packs of wild dogs, germ warfare, and maybe sometime I'll work out a plan to see how we would react to food poisoning.

Anybody else have any emergency drill tests they have run? How did they turn out, and what did you learn?

-- (eeny@meeny. miney moe), December 26, 1999

Answers

egad... The trolls are running low on material. And here I thought they would never run out. Pitiful.

-- Ken Seger (kenseger@earthlink.net), December 26, 1999.

TROLL !! TROLL TROLL

-- he'll (Darwin@himself.away), December 26, 1999.

diEtEr;

Where have you been buddy, are you eating solid food yet?

Is this good enough for SNL or is it the delete key?

Things will get worse before they get better....

-- Helium (Heliumavid@yahoo.com), December 26, 1999.

Oh come on this is a much better script then some of the trash you see on the television these days. I suggest someone mail this to Lorne Michaels and tell him to get the crew to think about this for next week's SNL.

I had you going there for a minute didn't I.... come on, admit it!

-- (eeny@meeny.miney.moe), December 26, 1999.

We haven't eaten for the last 3 weeks. Learning a lot from this. Must lay down now.

-- Bob (bob@notforlongjob.com), December 26, 1999.

And the "wonderful people" at the "bunk board" say we're sick for seriously considering that there might be a disaster? I think this one takes the prize for "most abhorrent posting".

-- Steve Heller (stheller@koyote.com), December 26, 1999.

How odd, I sort of remember reading this a long while back on this Forum. Is it recycled?

-- seems familiar (troll@bait.rerun), December 26, 1999.

Eeny,

ROTFLMAO.

-- ivan (ivan1776@ivnet.net), December 26, 1999.

despite the trollishness, it gets a ten on the funny meter. Don't forget, only the truly intelligent can laugh at themselves. So in this case BWHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

-- Billy Boy (Rakkasan101st@Aol.com), December 26, 1999.

Too bad your kids survived your first Y2K drill. Now they'll have to put up with future years living with teenage parents.

-- (wasted@parents.com), December 26, 1999.

This is definatley a good test to see who still playing with a full deck around here. Those of you with no sense of humor can bite me (especially you Steve Heller), and those of you who can still laugh, despite it all, get a gold star in my book.

I guess the majority of the Church of Yourdon doesn't take too kindly to laughing, dancing, singing and other "satanic" practices. You know, god forbid I poke some fun at this Y2K situtaion. Wow, I'm a monster aren't I...

sheesh

-- (eeny@meeny.miney moe), December 26, 1999.

Eeny, You eat beans and go without T.P. for a week, you'll lose your sense of humor too!

-- robert j. (crandalls@cableone.net), December 26, 1999.

Hey, that was a good realistic drill you did there.

I wanted to do some of the same things, but my wife wouldn't let me.

gene

-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), December 26, 1999.

You forgot a few minor tests: Pretend all your food preps are gone except for 2 wks. of soda crackers and 3 days of water. After the 1st wk., you pull everyone out of bed by their bedcovers and tell them an earthquake has hit. You bury them in all of their clothing, toys and furniture. They can not yell or whistle because their mouths are full of cracker dust. After that you set loose about two or three hundred hungry rats in your home...just to see the expression on the wife's face. Next, rip out telephone wiring, tip over a couple of oil lamps, set fire to the mess and try to call for help. This should keep everyone busy for a night or two ;')

-- justme (justme@myhouse.com), December 26, 1999.

Thanks, I needed that laugh!

-- Mike Lang (webflier@erols.com), December 26, 1999.

Almost pissed myself laughing so hard. Thanks, I needed that. I don't give a shit if you're a troll, that stuff was/is funny as hell.

I've been wondering why all the neighbors have been avoiding me. Now I know, they're tired of my "live fire zone" drills. Hopefully they've bought some level three body armor by now, but who knows haven't seen em in some time. And the front of their houses look like swiss cheese. You'd think after all the smoke I've been popping up and down the block someone would complain, but go figure, no one has. Gotta admit, those tracers really do look cool at night. Red and Green for Christmas and all.

-- Gordon (g_gecko_69@hotmail.com), December 26, 1999.

Actually, I have quite a good sense of humor. The reason I didn't find this funny is that I suspect the denizens of the "bunk board", whether or not they are responsible for it in the first place, will post it as an example of the "those horrible, insane doomers harming people by preparing". In other words, it's sort of like making Nazi jokes on a Jewish bulletin board: tasteless. Get it?

-- Steve Heller (stheller@koyote.com), December 26, 1999.

Oh steve, you're cute when you're angry, you know that?

-- (eeny@meeny.miney moe), December 26, 1999.

They were joking?

-- really (itsnot@joke.com), December 26, 1999.

I don't see the problem with the posting or his choice of drills. They may have been a bit more extreme than other people's, but he will be better prepared than most of you. Keep in mind that these drills are INSURANCE. You don't have a problem with INSURANCE, do you??? Maybe you should rip up your homeowners insurance right away!! .

-- (fred@the.wetlands), December 27, 1999.

This was great. Good piece. I even chuckled out loud.

-- enough is (enough@enough.com), December 27, 1999.

eeny meeny & moe...thanks for the levity....it was cute, light and funny....good for SNL or MADTV.

-- quietly (quielty@preparing.com), December 27, 1999.