How self-reliant did you say you were? : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

Blanche DuBois Looks At The Y2K Problem.

[With apologies to Tennessee Williams]

I have always relied upon the complex interdependencies of society. They have never failed me in the past. They will, therefore, never fail me in the future. I do not need to prepare for y2k.

Meat comes to me in shrink wrapped packages.

Vegetables have no dirt on them. They are always crisp and shiny.

Fish is a food product that has no bones.

Bread is neatly sliced and packaged. It Builds Strong Bodies Twelve Ways.

Potatoes are long, rectangular cubes that have salt sprinkled on them. I drive my car past a window to obtain them.

Light is provided to me 24 hours a day by glass bulbs. It is never dark.

Power for my appliances lives in the wall. I plug into it whenever I want to.

I have books. They are used for filling the empty space on my shelves.

Entertainment comes to me in a large box. It has many channels.

Sometimes I see wars in far away places on the box. Wars do not affect me personally. Wars are entertainment. Wars are not waged near where I live.

Heat comes to me as I turn up a thermostat. Cool air comes to me as I turn down a thermostat.

Clothing comes to me pre-sewn, in my size.

When the county fair comes, I go to see the horses, cows, pigs and sheep. I do not know where they live after the county fair goes away.

Factories are far away places. They make things for me. I buy them.

I get to other places in marvelous vehicles that come to me in showrooms. I do not know how to build them, or to fix them.

My children are educated by people smarter than me. I have forgotten all I learned in school.

Peace is maintained in my neighborhood by good men in blue uniforms. They have guns. I do not. If I press 3 buttons on my phone, they will come and help me.

Medical assistance is available to me, via the same 3 buttons. The by-products of my bodily wastes do not stink. They go down a porcelain hole. They go away.

If anything goes wrong, I will look in the Yellow Pages and call someone to fix it.

Blanche DuBois Looks At The Y2K Problem. ) Copyright 1999, Bob Doyle. All rights reserved

-- TM (, December 19, 1999


Hey, I know that chick!

-- Hokie (, December 19, 1999.

Thank you for posting this, TM. It describes almost everyone I know.

-- preparing (, December 20, 1999.

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