(I had to say "century" because there's no spell check here and I can never spell millenniumm.)

Fire away. Who will win the Oscars, who will be publicly humiliated, and who will get away with murder?

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Answers

I predict that Dave Van's book on childrearing will become a bestseller. The human race will die out shortly thereafter.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Some people's parents pimp for links for them:

http://moments.org/

http://www.maxmculler.com/

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Wow, I wondered when she was going to have that kid. And am I the only one who assumed "Max" was a boy? But I like Maxine Marie, very cute!

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

No comment.

I said NO COMMENT. *SLAM*

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Heather (http://php.indiana.edu/~hdrake/journalhome.html) will find that she's really a cat person, and sell Duncan

to Robyn (http://www.bitchypoo.com/journal.html), who will in turn discover that she is a dog person, and sell Mr. Fancypants

to Heinovision Al (no link, bud) for purposes too heinous to imagine.

Nicholas Grinder (http://www.impolex.demon.co.uk/1999/december99/index.html) will move to Scotland for the climate and begin to like his job, and

Gus Mueller (http://www.spies.com/~gus/ran/body.htm) will discover a new sexual and political identity, and run away with Eric the Web Developer to found a Utopian back-to-nature commune. Gus will sell his old journal site to Microsoft and its name will change to "Musings of the Bill."

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Dave Van and Chuck will meet at the Mojave Phone booth. Only one of them walks away. Stee will write the screenplay (from jail). The role of Chuck will be played by Chuck Norris and the role of Dave will be played by Rick Moranis.

Stee will make enough money from the sale of the script to buy himself the best appellate attorney on the planet who will get him out of jail so he can direct the movie.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

You forgot about the part where people make tribute online journals for Kim Rollins. Then it gets really crazy when there is a web ring for "People who think pamie is too hard on Eric. We want him."

Stee will get busted out of jail by Eleanor, but not before The Mighty Kymm shows up at his cell, looks in and shouts, "Three hundred! You make it my three hundredth journaller! I win! Screw you, Jen!" and then she leaves.

Mike Reed accidentally gets himself voted in as president, running on the Snowball Platform.

Evany's gag order is removed and she can start updating her damn page again.

Gwen becomes the Surgeon General. TV Dinners become mandatory.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

I predict that I will spend the next five minutes laughing my ass off at this entry and all of the responses.

Kudos Beth:)

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

I'm glad to hear you say that, Beth. I read this entry to Jeremy this morning before he had coffee, and his response was a very sleepy, "Weren't you kind of hard on that Beth girl? Isn't she going to be mad at you?" I pointed out that the Beth in the entry was me, and he sort of blinked and said, "Oh. I thought you meant the other Beth, the one with all the cats."

My guess is, that'd be you!

Oh, and the rest of you? No posting in my forum if you're going to be funnier than I am. Them's the rules.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Tom:

That will never happen, my friend. You see, *I* am the good kitty. If anyone's going to be sold for heinous purposes, it will be the peeing- all-over-the-kid's-coat Tubby, or the meowing-for-no-reason Spanky.

Besides, none of them can sashay across the room in such a fancy manner as I.

http://www.bitchypoo.com/stimpy.html

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Kim Rollins and Kymm Zuckert will negotiate a merger and start an uberjournal called "The Mighty Preserve." When Bill Gates brings an antitrust suit against KimKymm, Inc., it is revealed that Kim and Kymm are, in fact, Ryan.

Diane Patterson, Tamar, and Toni Causey will write a screenplay based on the lives of online journallers. It will open to a devoted audience of between 100 and 400, which James Valvis will declare is "better than the readership of most literary publications."

Pamie, Stee, and Dana of "Bobofett" will appear on the Oprah Winfrey show and reveal that, despite being so very funny, they are really sad, depressed people inside. Later, this revelation is declared a hoax, and Jim Carrey (in a Golden-Globe nominated performance) will play all three in the film adaptation.

In the year 2053, Sarah Michelle Gellar will announce that, due to osteoporosis and a weak bladder, she must retire from "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." A mass journaller suicide attempt is planned, but soon cancelled because it's to take place in Pittsburgh, and none of the attendees can find a cat-sitter.

Dreama of "This Precious Shining" decides she has too much free time on her hands and earns her medical degree, a certificate in electrolysis, opens a theme park ("DreamaWorld"), bears six more children and adopts fourteen others.

The Monolith merges with every other bookstore and amazon.com in order to contain every book and CD known to mankind. Rob Rummel- Hudson is promoted to "The Man" of the only music department available in the United States, but has to resign when he discovers that his staff is composed entirely of midgets.

Patrick of "Inside," tired of playing second-fiddle to Stee and Erik of "Coffeedog Journal" decides to go straight and act more dangerously. Sadly, this does not gain the attention of Xeney. (He does, however, get a dinner date with Sara Astruc.)

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

No predictions. When you have children you should really never try to predict anything. They won't allow it.

That Erica thing threw me for a minute until I checked out that link. I was thinking I was being sneaked up on!

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999