I rambled sort of off the topic and off the top of my head about this at the end of the "Teen Movies" thread, but in a surreal moment in my life I found myself sipping carrot juice and sitting across from the old Monkee, Peter Tork. I'm not sure if he was flirting with me or just being intensely friendly, but I freaked out and had to leave because my mouth stopped working.

I also almost ran Elliot Gould over with a hand truck in downtown Beverly Hills. (I scuffed his shoe. I'm not going to heaven.)

I led a pack of co-workers like baying hounds into an elevator commanding, "SMELL! SMELL!" after Farrah Fawcett had exited because her perfume was so heavenly.

What strange interludes have you had with celebrities?

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Answers

Mine is a celebrity encounter by one degree of separation -- I've only had boring brushes with celebrities.

But my wife was struggling to get our new artificial Christmas tree out of a taxi cab in Manhattan in December 1995 when Drew Barrymore and her then-new beau started trying to get in. I guess they were running or hiding from publicity -- anyway, the three of them danced a Christmas tree tango as my wife got the bulky box out of the celebs' way. The couple was in formal dress and my wife had on jeans. She developed a little twitch as a result of the incident -- every time she sees Drew Barrymore's picture, anywhere, my wife always comments on how dressed up she is.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

I don't think I've ever met a real celebrity, now that I think about it.

A former coworker was travelling to Europe for a sales meeting, and happened to be seated next to the Artist At That Time Still Known As Prince. The Purple One reportedly spent the entire transatlantic flight looking through girlie magazines with a member of his entourage.

I did see Richard Simmons once, from a distance. He's a very, um, "shiny" man.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Due to my own brush with celebrity, I happen to know that not only is Richard Simmons shiny, but he thinks that Cthulhu is 'cute'.

Cthulhu, for those who don't know, is one of H.P. Lovecraft's old gods from another dimension.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

I've met Alice Cooper, the members of Foghat, and the guys from the band Warrant. Mostly music stuff.

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Renee, you met Alice Cooper? I'm jealous!

But the question wasn't, "Who have you met that's a celebrity?" the question was, "What strange interludes have you had with celebrities?"

So 'fess up! Did Warrant ask you to drop cherry pie in your lap? Did Alice hit you up for a Budweiser? Did the lead singer of Foghat agree to an interview only if you took a jacuzzi with him?

-- Anonymous, December 22, 1999

Steve Guray, who played the father of one of Rob Petrie's neighbors in the Dick Van Dyke show, once accused my father of cheating at Perquackey by tapping on the egg timer to make the sand fall off the sides; Steve thought that would make the sand go through the timer more quickly, instead of making it take longer on account of there being more sand to fall through.... no, really, I was there!

Okay, I'm lame. I admit it.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

I survived meeting Andy Dick.

I also made a total ass out of myself in front of Janeane Garafelo. Steven Wright is quite short. Eugene Levy looked at me like I had horns growing out of my head. The guys that write and produce Space Ghost are quite cool. I danced next to Matthew McCona--"hey is that weed?" but who hasn't?

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999