Do you blush when you're embarrassed? Do you have a hard time keeping an incredulous look off your face when someone tells you a bald-faced lie? Can everyone tell when you're pissed off or bored or embarrassed or annoyed?

Or have you mastered that bland social smile of which Miss Manners is so fond? (If you haven't, you probably should try -- it's rude to let people know how much they bore you.)

I try, really I do, but I'm very bad at hiding my feelings. Okay, sometimes I don't try that hard. I don't mind if people know when I'm mad, as long as I'm not losing my temper. (There's a lot of power in letting people know you're angry without losing your temper.) But I should really learn to keep that, "Good lord, you're an idiot, aren't you?" look off my face.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

Answers

Oh yes. Can't hide a thing. Too emotional, too extreme. Heart on my sleeve all of that.

*sigh*

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

can't hide a thing. not even on the phone. if i'm upset, I will cry or, in my effort not to cry, become stony to the point of hateful (at this point, the only word in my vocabulary seems to be 'whatever')

apparently, in person, i pout. the lower lip thing. now that it's been brought to my attention, i try not to, so it's even worse, me contorting my face.

*sigh*

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

Oh, I try. But I blush, my face contorts, I make weird faces. Everybody teases me about it.

In repose, my face seems to be frowning, so I used to get a lot of that "Hey, smile, honey!" stuff from strange men. One benefit of getting older, I guess, is that they don't do that any more.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

Not too good at hiding things; that's one reason why I grew a beard. My wife hates that. As far as people boring me is concerned, the biggest beard or the blandest social smile in the world won't help me when I start yawning...

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

I've been told way too many times that I always look pissed off. Like people will come up to me and say "Hey, I saw you on the train the other day but you looked really pissed off, so I didn't say hi." I don't get that -- I'm very rarely pissed off. I blush a lot -- not just when I'm embarassed, but also when I feel slightly awkward, mildly annoyed, angry, etc...

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

I blush all the freakin' time. I'll be talking to a co-worker about something utterly mundane, and suddenly I'll feel my face grow hot and red. For no reason other than the fact that someone is paying attention to me, I guess!

I have a mouth that, in it's resting position, turns downward, and others think I'm pissed off or in a bad mood when I'm actually thinking something along the lines of "I wonder if there's any candy in my purse..."

I enjoy dirty jokes as much as the next person, but my traitor skin turns a bright red color when someone tells me one.

http://www.bitchypoo.com/bitchypoo.html

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

Only the bad stuff. If I'm angry, sad, hurt, scared, it's like a giant flashing billboard. If I'm happy, feeling good, excited, I have a perfect poker face.

My resting expression is a scowl. If I'm *trying* to keep a blank expression, I smirk like I'm mocking you viciously in my head.

Then there's my migraine face, which gives people the creeps. Because I can't really see, I have this expectant half-smile on my face, and I turn towards people but my eyes tend to veer off somewhere else.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

I get the same "what an idiot" look on my face. But I have tried to tone it down. The worst is that when I get embarassed or defensive, my ears go bright red. Not my face,but my ears. apparently it's quite striking.

but since I've been back in school I've tried to kee my reactions off my face. of course I have failed. utterly. What's worst is I tend to wince when someone reveals their total ignorance (not just lack of knowledge, but aggressive, not to say offensive lack of knowledge). must watch that, though.

-trouble

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

Worse than blushing: When my face goes blank, people often assume that I'm on the verge of losing it. For example, if you ask me whether I'm free to attend a meeting next Thursday, while I am thinking about my schedule for the next week my face may indicate that I'm trying to remember where I put my shotgun and dental tools. It's very embarrassing. I admit that I'm a high-stress person, but I really am not irascible or prone to temper tantrums.

It's funny because my mother has the same face. When she's tired and distracted, she looks like she's a short step from going berzerk. This is slightly amusing to most people, maybe because she's 5'2". I, at more than a foot taller, am apparently less amusing.

Oh, sorry - I see now that this response should have been posted in the "Are you a freak?" thread.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

Heh. It is utterly impossible for me to do the "blank social face" thing; either my mouth, eyes, or both inevitably show how I'm *really* feeling.

M (my fiance) always knows if I'm telling a white lie, or if I don't like something... On the other hand, tho', I was watching cartoons the other day and he told me I looked like a totally adorable two-year-old. I took it as a compliment. :>

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

The boss I had in 96 told me I really needed to work on my poker face. Apparently, when someone says something inane or wrong-headed, and I think my expression is perfectly neutral -- it *isn't*. I think I probably do some eye-rolling, too.

I worked in an accountant's office, in the early nineties, starting as a data entry person, then moving on to acting office manager when the accountant fired his wife (!) from that postion. Another accountant also worked there, a perfectly fine fellow, I'm sure. But I really thought he was dim. He irked me, he plucked my nerves. But I thought I was treating him with perfect courtesy and friendliness.

One day he asked me, had he ever offended me? Done me wrong in some fashion? oops! Somehow my true opinion of him had leaked through.

I immediately talked a lot about how I must have given the wrong impression, I'd been busy, of course I didn't have any personal problems with him...

Anita of Anita's BOD and Anita's LOL

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

I *think* I have pretty good control over my face. When David and I first started dating, I would tell him incredible things that had a dose of truth to them with a completely serious look on my face. I'd see how long I could keep a straight face, keep him going, discussing the issue before I'd finally break down and tilt up one corner of my mouth and raise an eyebrow, letting him know he'd been had.

He doesn't fall for that very much anymore.

I've found that trying to keep a straight face doesn't always work, but I'm usually close enough that people can interpret my facial expression to mean whatever they want it to. It's very conveinent. Occasionally David will make some historical or cultural reference that I just don't get. I'll try very hard to look intelligent, like I know what he's saying but would like him to elaborate, and he's often fooled into saying, "Oh, that's a great look!"

I never know exactly why that look is great, but he thinks I'm looking confused and blank on purpose and he thinks it's a fine game. I just smile, hold it for a few minutes, then break down:< p> Ok, I give: what the HELL are you talking about?

---

I find that when people are boring me I have to try like hell to keep my eyes from glazing over or wandering around the room. I'm much ruder to men than women, mainly because a lot of times with men it's not conversation, it's a come-on. I've gotten past feeling bad about using lines such as, "Oh! I left my drink in the other room." or even "I'm going to go over there now, if you'll excuse me." Terribly, terribly rude, but it works.

Another good one for getting rid of guys (and I hate to admit this one; I blame it on Holly, who taught it to me) is to play totally dumb. (I never do this when I actually might be interested in the guy...I like men who think I'm smart!) Last night, a friend of a friend made some rude comment suggesting I was visiting my friend for sexual favors. Totally untrue, but he said it in such a way that I could just bat my eyelids and pretend I hadn't understood what he meant. He just laughed, said, "nevermind" and I smiled pleasantly and fled. Jerk.

-- Anonymous, December 14, 1999

I have, in the past, been very good at lying with a perfectly straight face. I also seem to be fairly good at concealing boredom, unless the people who bore me are too self-absorbed to notice me drifting.

People usually think I'm glaring at them, though. Unless I actually have glared at them recently, in which case they know what a glare _really_ looks like.

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

people always ask me, out of nowhere, and usually when i am concentrating, why the nasty look? i always have to look up, relax my face muscle and smile and say "who, me?" sometimes i am thinking nasty thoughts, but i can't let on now, can i?

-- Anonymous, December 15, 1999

I think I have a nakedly readable face. I live enough in my own head that I have exaggerated my expressions just to amuse myself. It's not polite and not the least diplomatic. Every emotion must be, I think, readily apparent to any sighted person glancing my way. I've learned to doubt, though, that people concentrate on and analyze me (and everyone else, probably) as much I assumed in my paranoid adolescence. Paranoia requires narcissism. If they look, though, I'm sure they see.

I have noticed that as people age, their resting or blank expressions feature a down-turned mouth. I don't want that to happen to me, although it already has begun. So I try to be aware of my expression, particularly when I'm in public, so that people see a more smiley expression instead of a near frowny one. Plus I hope it's good for facial muscle tone!

That also works when I'm depressed--if I can just keep up the physical effort of smiling, the effort or the expression or both can help to cheer me. (For me a big part of depression is not making any effort at anything, so even as small an accomplishment as smiling is something.)

What I like most about being so easily readable is that I think it keeps me honest. And polite, I hope. Since whatever I think I'm pretty sure shows on my face, I had better curb my meaner thoughts when I shouldn't express them (orally or facially). I can't lie off the cuff, partly because I can't think on my feet and partly because my face gives me away. Which is how the readability is impolite, as I said above.

It's probably extremely vain of me to think I'm so easily readable. As I said, no one pays as much attention to me as I used to suspect. And how readable can anyone be? I recently read Anna Karenina and what cheesed me off about Tolstoy (more than the translation, of which I chose a poor one) was that everyone effortlessly understood everything everyone signified by the merest twitch of an eyebrow. Nobody is that good; and if everyone were that good at interpreting, there'd be a lot less hurt and misunderstood feelings in the world.

In sum, I'm readable and I like it that way despite its disadvantages. I suppose if I had a poker face I'd like it that way, too, despite its disadvantages.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

I have learned that if I hold my hand over my eyebrows, I have a hard time talking. Apparently I use them for every part of my conversation. They convey all emotion for me.

I hope they never fall out.

-- Anonymous, December 16, 1999

Even my EARS turn red when embarrassed. I can feel the heat just flooding my face and ears when something happens. I don't usually try to hide my feelings that show. I had to do that for a major part of my early life and don't ever want to feel like I have to hide what I feel again. Of course, I don't shoot nasty and mean looks at my sister-in-law so I do hide some. Only to keep the peace mind you in front of the inlaws. And I can't lie. I get this grin on my face and it just comes and goes and my voice goes up 2 octaves when denying or talkinga bout the lie.

-- Anonymous, December 17, 1999

Oh, if we get to voices, I don't think I can hide much. When I'm excited, I talk a lot faster and more frenetically, and at one point early in an infatuation my friends said my voice went up a couple of octaves whenever the man in question became the topic of conversation.

I like to think I've improved since then.

-- Anonymous, December 18, 1999