Fashion Question (How to look like a street person?)

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First, I'm not trying to be funny.

Working through multiple possible scenarios like everyone else, I've thought that appearing old, scraggly and weak might come in handy at some point. Element of surprise, etc.

The only part of the "street person ensemble" I need help with is making my beard and hair gray, i.e., at least 65 years old. I checked and, for some reason, the health and beauty aisle doesn't carry hair coloring for 'white' or 'gray'.

I fear a straight bleach job would make me look like Curt Cobain. Not good.

The costume shop only has a very temporary whitener you put in with a toothbrush.

Any ideas? And yes, I'm trying to get out of the city.

-- Mr. Bob (thebobster@delphi.com), December 12, 1999

Answers

Gee, I don't know if looking older would really help you...older people are constantly getting mugged, robbed etc. However, as far as the gray hair goes....there are silver hair dyes, you just need to look. But if you have dark hair, you will need to get a stripping agent and remove your old color before dying gray. Try a CVS or Walgreens for hair coloring.

-- Sue Landress (Sulandherb@aol.com), December 12, 1999.

I don't know how I do it, but my wife says I dress and act like a street person 90% of the time. It must just be a gift, so I doubt you can fake it.

Seriously, my intuition tells me you just aren't a good street person candidate. More importantly, if theres chaos, after 2 or 3 days we'll probably all "look like" street people anyway.

-- Jon Johnson (narnia4@usa.net), December 12, 1999.


Bob,

I have just the thing.

A few years ago (ok 15), our drama group at church would put on very big plays. I helped with wardroub(sp?). Anyway..... we had a spray, just like colored hair spray.... worked wonderfully! You really couldn't tell that it was fake. I do not know where they got it at.... but I do know they also got fake beards. If memory serves me correctly.... I think they said they got them at a costum shop. Makes sence to me. Hope this helps.

To be honest with you. I think you would be just as well off by smearing dirt on your face, blacking out a couple of teeth, and mumering under your breath alot. Think 'nuts', act the part.

-- bulldog (sniffin@around.com), December 12, 1999.


It isn't the look that's important as much as the aroma...

-- Sam Mcgee (weissacre@gwtc.net), December 12, 1999.

I couldn't agree more-and it goes double for women. Soak your clothes in a mixture of urine, stale cigarette butts, cheap wine (I favor Queen Isabella Muscatel, but Night Train or Old Smiley will do), pine-sol and rotting meat (-hamburger in particular will give you that essential 'sweet' smell) and of course, good old fashioned dirt and grease. Cleanliness is deadly inconsistency. You can always soap up later.

-- Greg Lawrence (greg@speakeasy.org), December 13, 1999.


A pal of mine and his wife are going to hunker down in a big city during this mess. She's done pro costume design in theater for many years and did a brilliant job of putting together "travelling" clothes for the two of them. The outer layer consists mostly of these big raggedy wool coats that Goodwill tossed into the ragpile. Inside of the coats is a harness system that holds various bugout items plus a Glock 17 and four clips. She also made amazing "hats" for them that start with the smallest Kevlar helmets (lined with sorbathane so she could remove the inner webbing) covered with those huge Rasta style knit hats, with fake dreadlocks hanging down (the two of them are black and this really works for them). You can't see any trace of the helmets! They plan to hunker in their city bunker, but if they have to hit the road, they'll be invisible.

-- Choirboy (choirboy@hellzchoir.edu), December 13, 1999.

Street people and the elderly are classic victims for street thugs. Perhaps you'd do better to mutter about Jesus coming a lot. But being pissy should help. You could keep asking for a public restroom "'cause I can't hold it in much longer."

I've thought about costume. If they come for me, they'll come for me in specific. I'm quite tall and have to wear my glasses, those are things I can't change. May run out to the salvation army and see if I can get some trashy polyester instead of my refined matronly downtown hippie look.

-- Firemouse (firemouse@fcmail.com), December 13, 1999.


I've seen Baby Powder used to make a person look old for Halloween and such. Just sprinkle some on the hair you want to age and comb it thru. When you want to look young again, simply wash your hair. I would think any powder would work actually. But I'd bet you'd smell much sweeter with the baby powder..grin.

beej

-- beej (beej@ppbbs.com), December 13, 1999.


You guys are a hoot! Personally, I prefer to look as "invisible" as possible when out in what could be a threatening situation. As an example, I've shopped for years at Aldi's, a cheap, "stock-up" grocery, which until recently only took cash or food stamps. Many times, I suspected that I might be the only person in the store who was paying with cash, and I might be carrying quite a lot, since I go all out when I venture there. I wear no make-up, dress in sweats or t- shirt and jeans, cheap shoes, no jewelry, etc. I keep my purse firmly attached to my person at all times, and make sure no one closely follows me out of the store. I'll take a little longer bagging my stuff if I feel weird about another customer, just to make sure they leave before I do. Invisible has always worked for me, though the Loreal bright red may have to go. Because I'm worth it! Katy

-- katy (katy@ngenius.com), December 14, 1999.

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