Tabloid tittle-tattle

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The National Enquirer is slow off the mark with the Melissa Gilbert house thing. My favourite respectable broadsheet newspaper here in Britain had the story in its entertainment gossip column a few weeks ago.

Oh yes, and British papers overuse the word "probe" too. Just today I saw "EVERY HOSPITAL IN SECRET ORGANS PROBE" or something like that.

-- Anonymous, December 06, 1999

Answers

Yeah, what is the Melissa Gilbert house thing?

I'm with Lohr about wacko conspiracy theories. I was so happy when it looked like we were going to have a whole new Warren commission over what sort of ammo was used in Waco. Face it, there's nothing more fun than when executive branch employees try to stamp out a grassroots rumor.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 1999


Hey, don't you guys read the front page at all?!! The Enquirer reported that Ms. Gilbert's house is a rodent infested slum, as you would have known had you read this. Since you did not, you're out of luck, because the Enquirer link has now expired. Alas.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 1999

Oh, yeah -- since you didn't read my front page, then you also don't know that the Bethlehem prophecies (as reported in the Weekly World News) tell us that Billy Graham is going to be tortured to death with cattle prods and battery acid on a live satellite feed. Had you followed that link, you would also know that Jesus is going to be gunned down by the National Guard when he returns to earth in the middle of a race riot in New York City, a few months from now.

I try to keep you guys informed, but you just don't appreciate me.

But I'm done with jury duty, so I can continue to look out for you. You're welcome.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 1999


Thanks on behalf of all of us. Based on those grisly stories, I guess we shouldn't expect Jesus and Billy Graham to show up for their scheduled Celebrity Death Match.

-- Anonymous, December 08, 1999

*I* knew about the Melissa Gilbert house thing, Beth, because I read it on your front page. I didn't post and tell Tom and Lohr about it, because they weren't paying attention, and thus did not deserve to know. You are a far more benevolent forum keeper than I would be.

http://www.bitchypoo.com/bitchypoo.html

-- Anonymous, December 08, 1999



Nyah.

-- Anonymous, December 09, 1999

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