Enjoy it While you Can Monkey-Men!!!

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Thanksgiving Day is apon you, pink and brown furless apes!!!Be Thankful while you Still Can!!!For I, the Mighty Squirrel King have recently signed a treaty with The Fowl King, creating the Fowl-Rodent Alliance!!!Never again will you Barbarians dismember the Great and Noble Turkeys!!!Nevermore will You be allowed to Desecrate the Royal Chickens!!!The Great One has spoken!!!Pay Heed and Homage to the true Ruler(s) of the World!!!Enjoy this one last Barbaric Holiday while you Still Can!!!Surrender now!!!Or face the power of the Combined Axis of Feathered and Fur-Bearing Freinds!!!Long Live the Fowl-Rodent Revolution!!!oh...and oh yes, Happy Thankgiving...

-- The Squirrel King (StillNuts@upin.Tree), November 25, 1999


Fowl-Rodent Alliance

Why am I always the last to hear about these things?. I never got a memo or anything!.

-- hamster (hamster@mycage.com), November 25, 1999.

They don't want any of your ground hugging underclass in the ruling junta. You'll form their furry slave labourer class, toiling in their nut-and-grain mines. :)

-- Colin MacDonald (roborogerborg@yahoo.com), November 25, 1999.

we'll have to see if our stealth nutria and beavers can infiltrate this alliance and perhaps bring it to its knees. Shouldn't be that difficult, given the distance from ground to knees.........

Oh DEitEr: Maybe YOU can herd the nutria up here for their marching orders, or perhaps Grey Bear or S.O.Bob can get them into shape.


Hijacking a thread for the FRL Alliance....;-)

-- Chuck, a night driver (rienzoo@en.com), November 25, 1999.

Interception! Nothing like a good hijacking :-) Oh no, what to do, loyalties pulling in different directions. The splits. Gotta go with both, think the Unmatched Leader Squirrel King would find the FRL a nutty partner is some disrespects. Intriguing. Off to consult the stealth fowl.

-- Ashton & Leska in Cascadia (allaha@earthlink.net), November 25, 1999.

What the heck does any of this have to do with Y2K?

-- Bruce W. Roeser (broeser@ccgnv.net), November 25, 1999.

It shows the sad human cost of years of contradictory reports and government prevarication. We are actually taking it at face value that the squirrels and the turkeys have formed an alliance. It's ludicrous. I mean, they've got no synergy. Squirrels and woodpeckers, now THAT would be credible. ;)

-- Colin MacDonald (roborogerborg@yahoo.com), November 25, 1999.

Bruce, unfortunately, it has everything to do with Y2K. You see, TPTB -- oh well, don't have the energy to go Germanus on this one. But it is germane to Y2K.

Next time your power goes off, notice that the power company will tell you a squirrel is to blame. We have a few more days before the consinsus lie-babble switches to drunk drivers.

-- Covers for Y2K (ssssshhhhhhhh) (allaha@earthlink.net), November 25, 1999.

Thanks for the laff guys. We all need a good one about now. Happy Thanksgiving, with or without the Turkey. It will problably be squirrel next year and I wonder if the turkeys will back the squirrels up then?


-- Taz (Tassie123@aol.com), November 25, 1999.

It is now clear. DIEtEr is a varmint. He has finally revealed his identity. HAil DiEtER KiNG oF ThE SQUirrEls.

-- (nuts@boutY2k.com), November 25, 1999.

Put lemming genes in the squirrels and they will run into the ocean.

-- Roy (bushwhacker @ north woods.com), November 25, 1999.

Nope...dEItEr,although creative and deranged, aint The Squirrel King, keep guessing...(you will never guess...)

-- Wouldn'tYaLikeToKnow (Iain'Saying@this.Time), November 25, 1999.

I wonder if the moles here are in on this...(I wonder if they will eat my veggies!)

-- Mara (MaraWayne@aol.com), November 25, 1999.

This place is crawling with moles! Just check this out:

Biggest U.S. spy agency choking on too much information

A CNN article about how our friends over at NSA Fort Meade are struggling under this mountain of info, ranting, conjecture, speculation, first-hand sightings, 2nd 3rd 4th hand repots, etc.

Fair Use and all that:

Biggest U.S. spy agency choking on too much information

The NSA has 38,000 employees whose job is to listen for threats to U.S. national security

November 25, 1999, Web posted at: 1:24 a.m. EST (0624 GMT), By Correspondent David Ensor

FORT MEADE, Maryland (CNN) -- The largest U.S. spy agency -- the National Security Agency -- is in crisis, overwhelmed by too many targets, too much information and the challenges created by increasingly sophisticated technologies.

The NSA is headquartered at Fort Meade, Maryland, about halfway between Washington and Baltimore. With its 38,000 employees, it is more than twice the size of the CIA, and at least twice as secretive.

"It produces, probably produces, 80 percent of the intelligence the United States uses," said James Bamford, author of "The Puzzle Palace."

The agency's mission is to listen for threats to U.S. national security and it faces an increasingly daunting task.

"The nation cannot navigate with an impaired sense of hearing," declared Rep. Sanford Bishop (D-Georgia) on the floor of the House of Representatives on November 9.

The agency used to have just one target -- the Soviets. But now it has dozens of targets.

"The international drug cartels that bring poison into our cities, the elusive conspiracies that put the pieces of nuclear weapons into the hands of rogue leaders [ ppsst that would be the Prez, thataway ] and the shadowy networks that want to bomb our buildings," are the threats to U.S. security listed by House Intelligence Committee Chairman Rep. Porter Goss (R-Florida).

And even the sophisticated eavesdropping equipment strategically placed around the world and the staff of crack codebreakers with the world's largest array of supercomputers is not enough to handle the current load of information [ yeah well there are lots of threads, just keep hiring more spies ].

Critics point to one well-known example where the NSA may have dropped the ball.

While NSA focused resources on the North Korean missile program, some say the agency missed preparations by India to test a nuclear weapon.

Difficulties posed by new technologies also threaten to make the NSA's "big ears" increasingly deaf. Among the changes and the problems they present:

* The worldwide move to digital, rather than analog phones makes eavesdropping tougher.

* Fax machines and fiber optic cables are a much harder to tap.

* The increasing availability of good encryption software lets even drug lords and terrorists scramble their signals.

* The Internet creates mountains of public -- not secret -- data that needs to be analyzed -- a job for which expensive eavesdropping equipment is of no use. [ who or what could analyze TB2K? hahahahahaha ]

"They are having a really hard time coming to grips with the fact that a $199 piece of software in the private sector can do better at some things than their enormously expensive systems," said Robert Steele of Open Source Solutions. [ uh, are they remediated yet? ]

Intelligence regulars joke that NSA stands for "no such agency" or "never say anything."

Informed sources say the NSA's new director is considering a major reorganization in coming months. [ "go manual" ]

Agency officials declined to be interviewed for this report. [ heehee ]

-- mole (spy@transparent.front), November 25, 1999.

squirrel roast,fried squirrel,squirrel flambe',squirrels in a blanket,squirrel sausage,squirrel and powdered eggs....squirrel,squirrel,squirrel...yum!

-- zoobie the squirrel eater (zoobiezoob@yahoo.com), November 25, 1999.

Aw nutz! Does the NSA speak squirrel?


-- (squirrelspy@flying.high), November 25, 1999.

(Okay. You asked for this. Fair Use, and all that rot...)

http://caller-times.com/specials/hunting/recipes/squirrelrecipe s.html


* 1/4 cup all purpose flour

* 1 teaspoon salt

* 1/2 teaspoon pepper

* 3 cut-up squirrels

* 2 slices bacon

* 2 tablespoons butter

* 5 cups of water

* 1 28-oz. can whole tomatoes

* 1 chopped onion

* 1 heaping tablespoon of brown sugar

* 2 potatoes cut into 1/2-inch cubes

* 1 10-oz. package frozen lima beans

* 1 cup frozen corn

* 3 tablespoons all-purpose flour

Combine 1/4 cup flour, salt and pepper and coat the squirrel pieces. In Dutch oven, combine bacon and butter over medium heat until butter melts. Add squirrel and brown. Add water, tomatoes, onion and brown sugar and bring to boil. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for 1 1/2 to 2 hours, stirring occasionally.

Remove squirrel pieces and let cool. Remove meat from bones. Add meat, potatoes, beans and corn to Dutch oven. Heat to boiling, reduce heat and cover. Simmer until potatoes are tender. Mix 3 tablespoons of flour with 3 tablespoons of cold water, then stir into stew. Heat to boiling. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until thickened, bubbly.

-- I'm Here, I'm There (I'm Everywhere@so.beware), November 25, 1999.

90% of those 38,000 NSA employees are SQUIRRELS!!

Why do you think they are always crawling around on the phone lines... they're listening!

-- Hawk (flyin@high.again), November 25, 1999.

Ok Folks,

Simmer down. You're all taking this threat too seriously. Sure, the poultry patrol and the squirrel king have formed an alliance. So what?

The poultry at the big egg ranch down the road organized to overthrow the management. Got a big demonstration started to go throw out the farmer. Know what happened: Everybody chickened out.

The squirrels can't depend on the chickens. No guts.

As for the squirrel king's threats, consider them to be political rhetoric. Just go for a drive in the city and look at the streets. Flattened squirrels everywhere. If he can't get his people so they can cross the street, they will be no more to be feared than the possums (who also never learned to cross the street).

SK is just a troll. And happy Thanksgiving to him as well.


-- gene (ekbaker@essex1.com), November 25, 1999.

nutria? Never needed no nutria before. Don't need it now.

got toothpicks?

-- hunter (way@up.north), November 25, 1999.

I recently was told by my 4 cats that they had reached an armistice with the 4 dogs and had signed a mutual nonaggression pact. Yesterday, I noticed one of my goats allowing one of my cats to ride on her back. Does this mean that the Fur and Feathers Alliance have suborned my goats by promising them control of the transportation sector (ala the Mob in the 1930s)? Does this mean I have to teach my 'nanny' to drive?

They still have not reached an alliance with my parrot. She still bites each and all so there is some hope left. I plan on teaching her how to dial 911.

-- Lobo (atthelair@yahoo.com), November 25, 1999.

Rumor has it that Squirrel King is really Old Git

-- (rick@home.xcom), November 25, 1999.

Nope...Not the' Old Git,but thanks for the compliment...

-- Wouldn'tYaLikeToKnow (Iain'Saying@This.Time), November 26, 1999.

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