JOHN Q. PUBLIC ISSUES YEAR 2000 READINESS STATEMENT.........greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread
JOHN Q PUBLIC ISSUES YEAR 2000 READINESS STATEMENT
JOHN Q PUBLIC, the nation's No. 1 producer of citizens in the United States and a member of the general population, is prepared to make the transition into the new millennium. John Q. Public believes the essential products and services he relies upon for daily survival will operate reliably in North America into and beyond the year 2000.
The efforts of John Q Public's preparations for the year 2000 include believing the Year 2000 readiness statements issued by government, public and private organizations John Q. Public relies upon for survival. John Q. Public interprets "rigorous testing of critical systems" to mean systems critical to the operation of the vital infrastructure of the United States (power, phone, gas, oil, natural gas, aviation, food manufacturing, transportation, banking, nuclear facilities, branches of the military, IRS, Social Security System, etc.), have been tested rigorously and will function as they do now at the turn of the century and beyond. John Q. Public also interprets statements such as, "As a part of these tests, computer clocks at some of the (facilities representing the vital infrastructure of the United States) have been set ahead and are currently operating with year 2000 dates. No service interruptions occurred when those systems transitioned through New Year's Eve and other key dates, " to mean that there will be no disruption of the vital infrastructure within the United States due to Year 2000 (as well as other dates) glitches, for him or his family members.
"Based on this information, we believe service interruptions related to year 2000 challenges are unlikely," said John Q. Public, head of the No. 1 producer of citizens in the United States, in his understanding of the year 2000 computer challenge across the United States. "If they occur, we believe service interruptions will be isolated and short in duration, similar to service loss during a storm. When Hurricane Floyd was predicted to hit here, we went up to Atlanta and stayed in a motel room. It was like a mini-vacation. We plan to do the same if Y2K hits here." John Q. Public has met or exceeded general year 2000 readiness guidelines established by the William Jefferson Clinton, President of the United States; John Koskinen, head of the President's Year 2000 Special Task Force; and Senator Robert Bennett, Chairman of the Senate's Special Committee on the Year 2000. A not-for-profit Federal Government group, the President and Congress focus on the safety, security and well-being of the citizens of the United States.
John Q. Public has completed his remediation and testing plans for his survival and has declared them Year 2000 ready. John Q. Public believes systems critical to the normal operation of the vital infrastructure, to all citizens in the United States are ready for the transition to 2000.
"This significant milestone is the result of a nationwide effort that began in 1996 when we first began to hear about the Y2K bug," said John Q. Public. "Our commitment to being prepared for the year 2000 begins with heads of households and includes the teamwork of family members and neighbors throughout the country. Through this coordinated effort, which represents an investment of approximately $350.00 by each of our 275 million citizens, we've continually been working toward the goal of providing citizens in the United States with the same safe, reliable service they have today during the transition to the year 2000 and beyond."
During the transition to the year 2000, John Q. Public will have citizens on duty to anticipate and respond to any potential challenges. Also, John Q. Public plans to have reserve resources available during the transition period. " I have stockpiled three days worth of food and water for me and the wife. We feel very secure now," said John Q. Public.
"Traditionally, the New Year's transition is a period of relatively low mental demand," said John Q. Public, citizen of the United States. "We plan to have 40 to 50 percent more mental capacity available than the anticipated demand during the transition. We are buying two extra TVs and inviting folks over to watch with us."
In addition to his own individual preparations for the year 2000, John Q. Public is cooperating with family members and neighbors to manage potential issues affecting the availability of local resturants and fast food delivery services, which would have a direct negative impact upon him should they experience breakdowns. "If Domino's can't deliver, we'll be forced to go pick it up ourselves." John Q. Public also has ongoing observations of key suppliers, such as the local pharmacy; grocery store; gas station; liquor store; electric, phone, natural gas, water and sewage treatment utilities; etc., to assess their readiness to supply products and services into the year 2000 and beyond. Should any of these vital services fail to operate, John Q. Public will know about it.
John Q. Public's Millennium Project will stay intact well into the year 2000 to further manage and monitor the critical needs of the population in general. "We will continue to address potential challenges and focus on providing reliable information for the general public into the new millennium. We have cable and watch a lot of TV and talk to our neighbors. We are well informed on this Y2K bug," said John Q. Public.
John Q. Public is the No. 1 producer of citizens in the United States with more than $600 trillion in assets through local and regional economic systems and operations around the world. They are the largest producer of citizens in the United States and one of the world's leading producers of voters. Based in Hometown America, John Q. Public is the parent of the United States Government. Through its elected officials, John Q. Public supplies citizens and elected government officials to all 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico. John Q. Public is represented in countries on every continent in the world. John Q. Public has a growing presence in North America with assets spread across the globe. John Q. Public also provides the personnel making up the branches of the military in the United States as well as representatives in NATO and the United Nations.
How to contact us: If you have specific questions about John Q. Public's Year 2000 Readiness, please contact us: by e-mail (any citizen's e-mail address) by phone, (refer to any white pages phone book listing) or by mail to
John Q. Public (any valid home address) (any of the 50 states, the District of Columbia and Puerto Rico) United States of America (any valid zip code)
Please Note - This Year 2000 Readiness Disclosure (the Disclosure) is made in response to information obtained through the Year 2000 Information and Readiness Disclosure Act. The information provided in this Disclosure is for general informational purposes only and does not represent any commitment, investment advice, warranty, invitation to prepare or not to prepare, solicitation, offer, acceptance, novation, amendment or alteration of any present or future obligation, contract or agreement existing or contemplated between John Q. Public or any of its citizens, family members, or partnerships and any other entity. The information contained herein is believed to be reasonably accurate as of the time of printing. NO REPRESENTATION IS MADE AS TO THE FITNESS OF THIS DISCLOSURE FOR ANY PARTICULAR PURPOSE. THIS DISCLOSURE SHOULD NOT BE USED FOR PURPOSES OF MAKING PREPARATION DECISIONS. This Disclosure may be changed from time to time as circumstances warrant, including updates or corrections, without prior notice. Such changes or modifications may be posted on the World Wide Web.
-- GoldReal (GoldReal@aol.com), November 19, 1999
That's very funny!!!
-- Gregg (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 19, 1999.
Whew, that was a close one. I thought we were in trouble for a minute there.
-- Mara (MaraWayne@aol.com), November 19, 1999.
You, should send that to Sen. Dodd, after all doesn't he want John Q Public to go on record too.
-- Marli (email@example.com), November 19, 1999.
The y2k bug has the power to cause electrical blackouts, knockout our ability to pump water, to handle hazardous life threatening chemicals,Bio agents and radioactive materials safetly in industy and govt. Can cause errors in financial calculations(ask chase $40 billion dollar errors,errors in shipboard and airborne controls(ask the families of eygpt air and the other recent crashes, y2k test subjects, planes are getting buggy after new software uploads) and navigational equipment, prevent submarines from correctly processing breathable air, prevent reactors from monitering safety sensors that can indicate unsafe reactor temps
What John Q Real Gold is ignorant about is that there is a lot of custom code that took 25 years to tweak what now seems so flawless that has been built on a faulty 2 digit standard. Unpeel all the layers that these systems were designed with. Why would corporations and govts spend trillions if it didnt represnt a threat to there existance. They knew that this is trouble. even with all that money spent they have only fixed a fraction of the problem. Did they fix enough to keep life going as we know it maybe or maybe not. After christmas it will be a new world y2k ready or not here it comes. When you see massive military in the streets will you then believe it's coming. When all the nations emergency personel,military, law enforcement get put on call-up, called M day or mobilization day will you then drop your nothing is going to happen John Q public line. Until they prove it is fixed prepare for big bell ringer problems. We are not out of the woods yet.
-- y2k aware mike (y2k aware mike @ conservation . com), November 19, 1999.
y2k aware mike,
Lighten up. It's too late in the process to alter the outcome. Those who are not prepared by now, won't ever be. They represent John Q. Public.
-- GoldReal (GoldReal@aol.com), November 19, 1999.
-- nothere nothere (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 19, 1999.
Hey Mike. Your new Y2K compliant humor detector apparently is rather buggy. Time to fall back on the old one until the rollover/CDC/ transition/National Mushroom Cloud Day
-- Dave (email@example.com), November 19, 1999.