Fast Co. article #6

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"The Art of Dialogue" by Paul Roberts in Fast Co. Magazine, September, 1999.

This article offers a snapshot look at how to be better at communicating with others and features the work of Bill Isaacs, a respected author and consultant. Isaac's work is grounded in the theory of using dialogue (see David Bohm's book, "On Dialogue") for authentic communication. The "art" of dialogue encompasses learning some important skills that will help us become better speakers and listeners. Isaac suggests beginning with the following understanding of dialogue:

- Find and use your own voice and learn to offer it in a "non threatening" manner that invites others to respond.

- Listen "generously" - Suspend your own judgement when listening to others. Are we really hearing someone else if we are trying to listen AND conjure up our response to them at the same time? It is easier to listen when we suspend our judgements and focus on being present.

Learning the "art" of using dialogue takes some practice. I remember the first time I participated in a group discussion using this technique. We were first given something to read on dialogue and then spent some time discussing it. It seemed very intellectual and intimidating to me. And I don't think I was alone in feeling that way. The conversation felt very stilted and disconnected. Another experience however, resulted in a wonderful flow of thoughts that no one in the group wanted to end. I think it takes a bit of practice and it helps when the conversation involves a topic that is meaningful and exciting to everyone.

I agree with Isaacs comments about how important it is to listen to one another. And, to build upon what each other is saying, adding our own ideas and thoughts to the conversation. If we are truly listening, we should be able to pick out points and ideas and build upon them. Doing this validates each person's contribution to the conversation.

Melissa did a wonderful job presenting an article on using dialogue in a class this summer and since then, I have noticed how our cohort members communicate to each other via ITV. Our discussions seem to be much more interesting and "flowing" when we build upon each others' comments. I discussed this with a few cohort members and they too agreed; using the basic tenants of the dialogue process makes our class discussions richer and more authentic.

In conclusion, using dialogue is clearly beneficial for authentic communication although it does take practice. But being part of a "flowing" conversation is a really nice reward.

-- Anonymous, November 14, 1999


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