Angergreenspun.com : LUSENET : Naked Eye : One Thread
When you get angry to you tend to internalize it or externalize it? Do you get quiet and careful or volatile and explosive? Do you do things in anger that you later regret - well, everyone does, I guess - I mean - do you feel as if you have your temper/anger under really good control or not?
Do you have any anger control techniques - such as counting, meditation, etc.?
-- Catherine (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 12, 1999
I internalize it. I internalize it too long, perhaps, and when I finally DO lose it, I explode. It seems odd to be part of a religion that stresses forgiveness, but although I forgive, I do NOT forget.
--Al of Nova Notes.
-- Al Schroeder (email@example.com), November 12, 1999.
I used to internalise it ... and I suppose for the most part I still do. I usually run and hide in my room if I think I'm going to cry or I get really angry. Like Al, I sometimes let myself get pushed so far without doing anything that when it all comes out, I end up literally screaming like a madwoman. (That's only happened once or twice in my life. But then I'm only 19. : >)Lately, though, I don't know ... I seem to less careful with my words and more ready to snap at people - which in a way is because I'm so sick of being angry and not saying anything, it's just ... exhausting. It's not exactly conscious; where before I would fume in private and say nothing, now I'm like "bite me!" (to pick a mild example), without even thinking. I don't know if it's good or bad. *shrug* I don't feel particularly in control of my anger, no. I'm not sure I want to 'deal with it', either, I just want less of it, and spend more time in more useful states : )
I don't really have 'techniques' for dealing with anger, but I do have an instinctive sort of strategy, I guess ... which is to lock myself in my room and sleep. : )
-- Vicky Yan (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 12, 1999.
I try very hard not to get angry, but it happens, and usually is borne out of frustration. I try because one of two things usually happens: either I get very, very mean, or I cry.
Neither is the best response.
Luckily, I don't get angry very often.
-- Kristin (email@example.com), November 12, 1999.
I've always had trouble dealing with anger, both my own and that of others. The only time I ever give up trying to comunicate through a difficulty with someone is when they begin to yell, at which point I leave. Once I do get angry with someone, the relationship often ends. I grew up an the only child of a single parent & don't have a lot of examples of resolved conflict to rely on...I'm always amazed to watch siblings fight, for example, and get over it right away. I try to learn from this.
I am also trying to recognize that anger is a feeling like sadness, happiness, confusion, all of which I am able to deal with though they seem overwhelming at first; I'm not as afraid of them as I am of anger.
I remind myself that however I feel, I have a choice in how I behave.
-- Celia White (firstname.lastname@example.org), November 12, 1999.
I'd grown up in a family that tried to teach me it was a sin to get angry. Rather than a short spew of angry words, Gramma would clam up and the house would suddenly feel 10 degrees cooler.
When I joined with Laura, I soon learned new methods of dealing with anger. Laura actually had to encourage me to yell out. Now, today, I scream with the loudest of them. But once it's out, it's over, and if needed, I apologize.
-- Joan Lansberry (email@example.com), November 13, 1999.