If not, were you at least born in the same presidential era?

Do you usually date people who are older than you, younger than you, or about the same age? I've never dated anyone significantly older than I am (I think the biggest age gap was three years older) and I've only dated a couple of people who were exactly my age. I mostly seem to date guys who are younger than I am. I think I must find older men too bossy, maybe.

What's your experience?

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Answers

I robbed the cradle, my younger sister Anne (five years my junior) and Barb (my wife) were born in the same year. That's not so much me as her---she has a thing for older men. In fact, her main complaint is that I'm not silver-haired or gray-haired yet, and one reason she likes the beard is that there's a little silver in it. Our birthdays are during the same administration, but only because Eisenhower served two terms.

She loooooves older men. One of her favorite soap opera actors, David Forsyte has silver hair, and I'd be more worried about competition if she worked at an old folks'home then if she were assisting a Chippendales' review.

Al--Nova Notes.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

My husband is four whole days older. Of course, he doesn't consider himself a Johnson baby (well, neither do I, to be honest!), since he was on the other side of the world. He *does* consider himself to be considerably wiser, because of the extra four days' advantage he has over me.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Michael and I are a year and two months apart. He has enlightened me to the male guidelines of whether or not a girl is too young. A man takes his age, divides it in half, and adds seven years. Anything below that number is too young. I only know one guy who follows this rule, so we're going to set him up with a girl older than him.

Nicole

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

My first husband was four years older than me, and there was definitely a generation gap there -- it was like being married to a grumpy old man. My current (and last!) husband is 8 months older than I, and we're a much better fit. We have the same points of reference, TV-, movie-, and music-wise. I've dated the whole range -- older, younger, and same age -- and I prefer men my own age. But the younger boys *are* pretty to look at :)

Robyn

http://www.bitchypoo.com/bitchypoo.html

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Heh. I'm 25. My boyfriend is 36. The strange thing is that it's never been an issue. Either I'm really mature, or he's immature. Whichever way it is, it works. *grin* My parents think it's great. ("He owns a house? He has *stocks*? When's the wedding?") He wishes that we could have met 10 years ago, but I pointed out that our relationship would have been illegal in most states. ;)

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

My husband is a whopping 18 months older than me, but he's not the boss of me. ;-)

I don't think age matters though, really, and I don't think five years is much of an age difference once both people are over, say, 30? When someone in their 30's or 40's thinks someone five years younger is cradle robbing material, I find that pretty hilarious.

People are obsessed with chronological age, and it's one of the alltime dumbest things to obsess about. I've had 'em my own age, I've had 'em older, I've had 'em younger, and none of the numbers attached to them was much of an indicator of "maturity."

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

He was 11 years older. I was widowed at age 58. I guess my advice to those who like them older would be "Be sure they lead a healthy lifestyle....no smoking, enjoy exercising, etc."

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

He's 8 years younger than me. I kid him about being Gen X, but I'm the one with the tattoos and piercings. He thinks he was always quirky and that it makes sense that he ended up with someone older. We're both quirky in some ways, compared to his family & many of his friends - don't have kids, lived in the city till quite recently, etc.

We have very different tastes in music, partly because of the age thing. Aside from that it doesn't come up that much. Ironically he looks older than he is and I look younger.

I've only had 2 boyfriends who were older than me, and that was when I was way younger and didn't know what I liked. Most have been from 2 to 8 years younger. I think I'm afraid of being bossed around, too. Plus I have never really had my act together, life-wise - I've always been afraid that if I did go around with someone older, he'd be dissaproving because I don't own my home or own stocks or whatever. Being with somebody younger has been a way of not facing up to my lack of conventional maturity, I think.

We know lots of couples where the woman is much older. Some good friends have a 19 year difference.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

I got all ya'll beat. First husband was 5 1/2 years older. We were married 11 years, and it was your typical domestic scene.

Second serious relationship was with a man 21 years older. This was the Spoil Me Rotten phase of my life, I guess. He has money, a house, good career, fun-loving, we had similar interests. He treated me like a FREAKING QUEEN every second of the 3 years I was with him. I traveled more those 3 years than I have the whole rest of my life. We are still good friends. He wanted to get married, but I didn't.

I am now 32 and soon to be 33. Three months ago I married my husband on his 50th birthday. He definitely does not look his age or act it. We are so so different. He is very conservative and decorates in black, white, off-white, and tan. I own a purple couch and have long red fingernails which he tolerates (HA HA). He is not interested in fitness, he is thin and has a high metabolism. He smokes (YUCK), he eats real cheese and real butter. I know if I end up a young widow I will have to take care of myself and am planning accordingly. I figure I'll be young enough to get hubby #3.

Is he bossy? HELL YEAH! Is he high maintenance? HELL YEAH! But he is the total opposite of the first older man, so I don't think all older men are bossy. I can't explain it. I just love him like crazy.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

You mean people aren't supposed to eat real cheese and real butter? Hell, I'd rather die early.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Vivian is about ten months younger than me. So we're both Class of '87 Nixon babies, and children of the 60's to boot, at least technically. It does give us a lot of common ground (we remember the same bands from high school) and some division (she hates the stuff I liked and vice versa.) But if you ask Vivian she'll be sure to mention that she's older in Girl Years than I am.

Guys my age tend to date younger because they realize their youth is ending and they want to extend the party with by dating some sweet brainless young thing who can remind them of girls they went out with in college (or high school, for the very desperate.) Older, wiser women are higher-maintenance, so for guys who don't want to work at a relationship, a girl for whom emotional maturity means the ability to buy beer might be the ticket, at least in the short term.

These young girls tend to get dissatisfied with their creepy old boyfriends after said fella gets stuck into the rut of sitting around with young girlfriend drinking beer and watching TV. This often occurs because us old guys usually can't cut the mustard anymore at things like staying out until 4 AM every night and still making it to work, or we just get tired of the club/bar/party thing. This is bad for the teenage lovely, because she's just learning to enjoy said club/bar/party thing. At this point she'll leave, or if she is a "stand by your man" type (or got knocked up) she'll be trapped with a crabby fossil whose beer gut expands faster than his mind contracts.

I wanted to avoid this, so I found a woman my age, and we're happily getting old and cranky together, at roughly matching rates. This allows me to do things like write long posts justifying in great detail why I think buying a station wagon is a good idea.;]

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

My girlfriend is 13 months younger than I am (both Nixon. When I was little I thought "Watergate" was another name for Congress). Although I've never heard of the "same presidential administration" thing, I've tried to stay in the same approximate range. It's probably because of my Dad - wife #1 was 8 years younger, wife #2 was 17 years younger...

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

My husband has 8 years on me, I'm a Nixon era-baby, he's was born during the Eisenhower years. Of course, since he, like Dawn's husband, was born half a world away, we don't see things that way.

Honestly, between 32 and 40, after 12 years of being together, 12 years of practicing the same profession, the last 2 years working together, there's not a whole heck of a lot of difference anymore. We're both mentally somewhere around 68.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

The reason you never heard of that rule, Geoff, is that I just made it up. I'm allowed to do that.

I've only dated Nixon babies and maybe one Ford baby, so I obviously think it's a pretty good rule.

My mom is 12 years younger than my dad, though, and my step-grandfather was about 10 years younger than my grandmother. Both of those pairings worked out pretty well.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Well, hubby #1 was my age (maybe a few months or a year older, can't really remember) and was a royal pain in the ass. Hubby #2 is 11 years older and I liked that about him at first, how mature and together he was compared to hubby #1. Now I don't think about it, it just isn't an issue. Except when I'm giving him shit about how young I was when he was in college, etc. He has clear first hand memories of what was going on in London when each new Beatles album was released. Now *that* is old. Haha.

He smokes, doesn't excercise enough, has a family history of heart attacks and is likely to die before me, but I too figure I'll still be young enough to have another marital incarnation, if I choose. I just plan to enjoy him as long as I can.

I actually don't think age matters that much. Maybe when you are young and every little difference or similarity in a relationship is cause for despair or celebrations, but not when you are as old as we are.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Ooooh! I think Joy should send me her second serious relationship guy, Mr. "Spoil Me Rotten"! He's younger than me (Great!), but not too much younger. I'm ready to travel and have fun. I wonder if he likes older women. :)

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Mike is 12.5 years my junior and frankly, it rocks. We have a lot in common, but our pasts are different enough for us to tease each other a little. I'm his *old lady* and he's my boytoy. His mom was a little worried because of the age difference, but when she met me, she said we were well suited to each other. Probably our sick senses of humor gave it away.

I had never dated anyone younger than me. I had usually ended up with someone a few years older or the same age. I tried to make Mike go away, because I'd known him since he was a 18 year old smartass kid, but he kept coming over and kept asking me out and kept being so damned adorable and nice that I finally fell for him. Because I'd known him for years, when he asked me a couple weeks later if I wanted to live together with him, it was an easy yes. A couple years later, when he asked me to marry him on bended knee by the glow of a video game, I said yes. I've never been happier.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Mom, you crack me up! Though I can't blame you; I'd love a Sugar Daddy to take me on world travels....

I've dated both younger and older men, but I guess recently I've developed a fondess for men in the early to mid 30's (I'm 26). Of course, I'm also going through a phase of dating married men (as long as their wives know and are also happily dating other people), as it's much less work emotionally. The end of a long term relationship can do that to ya, I guess.

Older (well, those 30-somethings) men tend to, um, well, take more time with you. They're also more likely to appreciate stuff about you like your brain instead of your boobs.
Who am I kidding? They probably just learn not to stare at your chest and feign an interest in your brain instead. Oh well, at least it doesn't feel as seedy....

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

I've always had boyfriend either older or younger than myself. 2 boys (this would include my current one) were three years younger. One was 4 1/2 years older and then my last boyfriend was 18 years older (but mentally he was 10 years younger).

My current guy, it seems, is working really hard to catch up with me. Financially, career-wise, education wise. He's just -- well -- three years behind. And that can be hard, sometimes it's great, sometimes I feel like his mom.

I'm always attracted to men my own age. But I never end up with them. I don't know why this is. Oh well...

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Oldest to youngest; me 21, boy 41 Youngest to Oldest; me 32, boy 23

Old was nice to start with, reassuring that one of us had a road map. Young was nice for a fling, energetic and interesting to complete the old/young bookends.

Jeff (husband) is 3 years older than me, and the major differences aren't really agewise as culturewise. He was a Kennedy baby, and I was almost 10,000 miles away in Australia. Like other's have mentioned, I don't really consider myself a Johnson baby due to the OS thingy.

Most of the women in my family have married men between the standard 5-7 years older than them, even in their second marriages, of which there were multiples.

-- Anonymous, October 26, 1999

Not true, Heather, not true. Sure, I love to look at beautiful women just as much as the next heterosexual guy, but in the end you just want to be with the one that makes you laugh, or at least think. I got that from a comedy series, but it's very very true in my book.

No current relationship, at 35 - all three previous girlfriends were about the same age as me. Never more than a two year difference. I did fall for a woman seven years older than me once, but since it wasn't mutual, I just had to get over that.

-- Anonymous, October 27, 1999

Thus far, mostly around my own age, except for a brief foray into dating a guy who was 4-5 years my junior (I was 23, he was 18/19). In fact, he was the same age as my younger brother at the time, which kind of weirded me out, but he was a true sweetheart. My friends ribbed me gently though, about robbing the cradle

In my current relationship, Sabs is 27 and I'm 25 and I've tended to connect with guys who are about 1-2 full years older than myself, minimum. Often in the past, younger guys have annoyed me so badly that I just wouldn't consider dating them. But it all changes on a guy-to- guy basis.

I've often wondered what it might be like to date someone 5 to 10 years older than myself and whether or not there is a significant difference in how guys view life from being in their 20s to being in their 30s for example. Of course, there would be a lot of variation from guy to guy, but it's something I wonder about, especially as I watch Sabs remain mostly unchanged as he's progressed through his 20s.

He gets testy about turning 30, but I wonder if the bigger changes in perspective won't come about until he's approaching 40 ...

Hmmm...

-- Anonymous, October 27, 1999

Travis and I are one year, one month, and 13 days apart. We were both born during the end of the... uh... Carter administration. Yeah.. so we're both Carter babies.


-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

I'm 9 years older than my girlfriend, and we are separated by two administrations. I'm Nixon, and she's Reagan. We may have the age difference, but she's like the sweetest girl I've ever dated, age really seems to be beside the point for us.

-- Anonymous, October 28, 1999

Lessee... I'm just barely a Nixon baby. G is 18 months older, so he is too.

It's a comfortable age diference for us, I think.

I've dated people significantly older (6-18 years older. The significance decreases as my age increases.) My ishiest relationships have been with men 2-3 years younger than I.

Usually the age diff. between me an SO's has been negligible to 3 years.

-- Anonymous, October 29, 1999

The two great loves of my life were, respectively, 14 and 18 years younger than I am. We clicked on levels that had nothing to do with age, and we enjoyed the same music, books, films, humor... The break- ups, when they came, had nothing to do with age.

For many men, women in their 30s or 40s are Walking Wounded-- they carry emotional scars and grudges, they often come with children attached... They've lost a sense of fun, of really finding new films, new ideas, new music to be *important*.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

I'm 11 years younger than Ned. Me being 37 and he being 48. It works for me.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

My wife is 5 years older. Definitely has its benefits right now. No complaints here.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

My soon-to-be hubby Dave is about 6 months older than me. Started college before me, but finished after me.

I've generally dated men at least 1-2 years older than me or about my same age. The only exception being that when i was 16 I dated a 23 year old and when I was 19 I dated a guy who must have been close to 30. Both were severely immature, though.

The only younger guy I remember dating left me at the altar, so I guess younger men are NOT for me.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Geeze, are my wife and I the only Kennedy-era couple here? My wife's a few years older than me; I'm under strict orders not to tell anyone how old she is, so I figure if I don't know, I can't tell, so I haven't bothered to figure out the actual number.

I once dated a woman 15 years older; as somebody said up above, it helps if someone has a roadmap.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

In 1943 I was 22 and my girl friend 18, after five kids and 56, close to 57 years of hard working marriage she still hasn't gained a minute on me, I am still: A : four years older. B: more deeply in love with Heather now than when it was love at first sight.

She was my best friends baby sitter, she truly has had to babysit me during a few catastrophies.

Age never seemed to make a difference to me, I had dated girls older than me and it seemed to be their outlook and matching interests rather thn physical age.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

I just turned 21, my boyfriend is about to turn 25. Not too big of an age differential, except that because of the specific ages in question I'm still in school and he's not. However, he's having all sorts of issues over turning 25 because it's "practically 30," and I'm doing my best to be sympathetic, but I just don't see 25 as really traumatic. I guess 'cause I haven't been there yet. Is 25 really that big a deal? Is this going way too far off-topic?

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Doug,

That is perhaps the sweetest thing I have ever seen anyone write. Wow. I'm all teary-eyed.

I have had a tendancy to date women a few years younger than me. When I was 22 I dated a 17 year old briefly, when I was 23 I dated a 19 year old, when I Was 24-25 I dated a 20-21 year old. I chalk this up to the fact that I meet almost all of my lovers through my writing (any other writers have this phenomenon) and Retrogression, having been largely a political punk rock zine appealed largely to teens and college students. I have a date next week with a 30 year old, but she reads Retrogression too.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Dave, Doug *is* a sweetheart. :) :) :) for Doug.

I always felt uncomfortable with men too much older or younger than I. At least of my female friends have older-man issues and are married to men 15+ years older than they. Two of my male friends married women 9 and 11 years older than they. This is completely my own problem, I know, but it makes me shudder.

All of my relationships have been with men within two years of me, except this one guy I dated casually when I was 24 and he ~29. One long-term relationship was with a man nearly two years younger than I. He had skipped a grade, so academically was only a year younger, but socially, maybe because of the skipped grade, more than the two younger.

My husband is six months older than I and, despite being born in '67, also graduated high school in 1986: born in November (both second-term Johnsons). We're both Xers, both came of age in the '80s, but our upbringings, cultures, and music tastes are dissimilar. What we share, and what's more important than the Elvis Costello/Bob Dylan debate, is having gone to college together. We didn't meet until grad school, so that means he knows all the same stuff about the university I do but that for us to marry wasn't as incestuous as my marring any of my college crowd would have been. *That* is the context it's been most important to me to share. I never felt comfortable in a romantic setting with anyone very much older or younger than I; I turned down the world's most perfect man because he is more than a decade older than I (and chubby, and at the time an unethical relationship, but still).

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

Hhhmmm... let's see, I started off with the standard "two years older" deal with my first boyfriend, then it was someone my own age, then someone 3 years older, then someone my own age then someone 3 years older again, then someone my own age (i see a pattern) - and now I've *just* started dating someone who is... ummm... wait I have to count...oh shit - 6 years older! Wow! I didn't realize that!

I *dig* older men, generally. The ones my age seem to be... well... a bit of a pain in the ass. They just *don't get it*! I mean I can't believe some of the crap younger guys pull. Drives me *cuckoo*. And older men have those delicious eye-crinkles and strong hands.

For the record, I don't think age matters, but of course, I'm having a really hard time adjusting to the fact that this guy is a *man*. Not a boy, a genuine MAN! It's freaking me out a bit. I've noticed myself being careful of things I say or do - sort of editing the rowdy part - just in case it scares him off. And of course that's bad and I've got to stop it immediately; I just don't even realize I'm doing it 1/2 the time! He's so... together and comfortable with himself. I think it's his personality and I'm just super-imposing my insecurities and age worries on him...

I just really dig him and don't want to screw it up I guess :)

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

my husband is a year older than me, and my other significant other is fourteen years older. we all get along really well. i feel more like a member of an age range than like a person of a particular age. i've always gotten along best with people above my age, although the gap between me and my OSO is the largest age gap i've experienced in a dating situation.

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

note to stacey : 25 is freakin' terrifying and it goes on and on and on well past the physical age. there was a large pamie forum on the very topic awhile back. forget what it was called. but there's a lovely breakdown at 25 that *no one* mentions. mine's not over yet and my 27th bday is this october.

oh and i think part of my problem with this guy also has to do with the fact that he's the most 'conventionally' physically attractive person i've *ever* dated. insecurity rears it's ugly head! ick!

he's so sweet though... *sigh*

-- Anonymous, April 12, 2000

I'm 25 and Tristan's 27, so we're fairly standard as far as 'ideal' age differences go. I've never gone out with anybody younger than me - I was bumped up a year at school, and everybody I was friends with since then has been at least a year or two older than me.

All my boyfriends were at least a year or so older than me, but never more than a couple of years. Not a conscious policy or anything, but just the way it panned out. And I've never gone out with anybody younger than me. Most people take me for a few years older than I am (not just because of the wrinkles!), and I don't find much in common with younger guys.

My little sister is 22 and married a 28 year old guy - a friend of my older sister's. I think that's a pretty big gap. They are very happy together, but she's fairly 'old' for her age too, and I don't think every 22 year old would be happy with this (she was 17 when they met and 20 when they married).

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

Okay, so I was going to say how my first boyfriend was 21 when I was 15 (yes, roadmaps are good), and my last boyfriend before my husband was 3 years younger (and I got tired of him wanting me to be his teacher). My husband is 15 months older than me, and perfect, so I would say I am better with someone my age, because our interests are so much the same.

That's what I WAS going to talk about, but instead I'm going to re-read the post that said something about her husband being ___ old and her SO being ___ old, and they all get along well. Did I read that right? She's allowed to have two men? Wow.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

hi lisa e.,

that was me. i'm polyamorous, so yes, i'm allowed to have two (or more) partners (and so are they)! everyone involved knows about everyone else, and safe sex is practiced all around. my husband and i have been together for five years, and my SO and i have been together for nearly two years; my SO and his live-in partner have been together and polyamorous for twenty-five years.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

I'm 25, soon to be 26. Ray just turned 24. We're...hmm, let's see...one year, eight months, and twelve days apart. Which really isn't that much. When we talk about school, it gets funny though. I skipped a year of school, so I graduated from high school in '91. He graduated in '94. Some song will come on the radio and I'll say "oh, I remember that from when I was in college, you know, back when you were in the sixth grade."

My youngest boyfriend ever was five years younger. (I was 24, he was 19.) The relationship ended because his mommy made a big fuss about the age difference, and he had an unnatural attachment to ol' mommy. Yeah, he was just a bit immature...

The oldest was...hmm...eight years, maybe? I was 17, he was 25 or something. It didn't last long and he didn't know that I was 17.

As I get older, I like younger men better.

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

The bf and I are about a year apart with him being the younger one. This is perfect because although he has height superiority over me, I have the wisdom of age to hold over him. Therefore, we are in balance and happy:)

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

My boyfriend is four days short of being fully two years older.

My other long-term relationship was a four-year difference that began when I was 16 and he was 20. Now he is thirty and dating a 22 year- old. We broke up when I was seventeen and the prevailing joke was that I had gotten too old for him....

The age difference (between myself and present boyfriend) now seems to work out very well. The majority of my friends are older than me so it never really makes a diffierence unless we're discussing TV programming from the seventies, which he remembers a little bit more than I. I've dated a few guys younger than me (I think the youngest was two years my junior) and it NEVER worked out. Not even slightly. I generally ended up being all-around annoyed by them.

However, when I was 18, I did date a 36-year-old for an entire month. I, being a rather naive 18-year-old, initially thought he was around 25 or 26 (he did look young for his age)...One day I was filling out some paperwork for his business and it requested a date of birth. So I asked him and he paused (the pause should have been a big hint, in retrospect) and said "xx-xx-57". At which point I had a very still, very silent mental breakdown that I was dating someone seven years younger than my mother. That was the last time I saw the guy...I hear he started dating another 18-year-old shortly after that and that they are still together so maybe I just wasn't the right 18 yr. old.

My father is nine years my mom's senior. They just celebrated their 30th last year. Maybe age differences aren't so bad...my mom keeps my dad active and my dad calms my mother down...works out well for them! (and they never could nail me for that boyfriend being 20 when I was 16, either...just bring up the fact my father graduated high school when my mother was in fourth grade and the conversation usually ends there)

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

i'm currently dating a boy who's one year younger than i, and a girl who's eleven years younger. i can tell you that the latter relationship is significantly different from any other i've had, but my sample size is small enough that i'm not sure how much of that difference to attribute to relative age and how much to attribute to absolute age, gender, or qualities unique to that particular person. i'm sure pondering it a lot, though. ;>

-- Anonymous, April 13, 2000

A few months into my relationship with Rob, I bumped into my ex at a grocery store. "I hear you robbed the cradle again," he sneered. "Yeah, he's the same age as you," I countered with a smile. A small smile.

Which is a couple months shy of eleven years. When I was in college, he was in grade school. Weird? What's weirder is that his mom knew me most of a year before asking how many candles to put on the birthday cake she made me. She had apparently thought he was older than me. Er...? Time to get the stronger glasses maybe?

Anyway, I hope I grow up enough to settle down, sometime before we get married next year!

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

i'm a ford baby, and all of my boyfriends have been within a year or two of my age. at this point in my life, i can't really imagine myself in a relationship with someone much older or younger than me. i'm going through the whole insufferable early-twenties "what the HELL am i supposed to do NOW???" stage, and i guess i need someone who can identify/sympathize with that.

however, as far as starry-eyed schoolgirl celebrity crushes are concerned, i've always had a thing for very...MATURE men. i got such a crush on patrick stewart a.k.a. jean-luc picard when star trek: TNG first started in the late '80s. i was 12. cute, eh?

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

It's an abundance of Michaels and Mikes. *g* It's an odd phenomenon.

Seriously, they're everywhere...

My own personal Michael is a year and a half older than I am. Which is nothing, really. Except for the annoying he's-21-so-he-can- legally-drink thing. And I can't. But, other than that.

At my age, too much younger would be illegal. So I don't really go for younger. : )

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

Rane and I are 5 months apart. We're both going to hit 30 this year. Yikes.

I usually date people close to my own age, just because that's who I happen to meet. In college the men I met and were around were all within a year or two and then I met Rane online and well we happened to have the same interests. Age is not really an issue to me as long as I can have good conversations with someone.

-- Anonymous, April 14, 2000

My partner is 23 years older than me, (I am 22 he 45) and I love him just the same. Despite the fact that we were not born in the same Presidential era, we both could care less since our tastes are pretty much the same on everything including politics, which we both don't pay attention (we didn't vote in the last Presidential election). I have dated younger, a year at the most, the same age, (I mean exactly, I dated a guy who was born on the same day as me) and older. I find myself much more attracted to older men, and that's probably why I am married to one right now.

-- Anonymous, June 02, 2001

All the guys ive been out with have been older than me. Normally around 2-3 years. My ex bf was 21 and i was 18. My current SO is 27, and im 19. A gap of 8 years, but theres 6 years between my parents. I find younger guys immature, and get sick of there company quickly.

-- Anonymous, June 04, 2001

Well, my husband is four and a half (give or take a couple weeks) older than I am. The only thing that I've really noticed being affected is that all of 'our' friends are friends he's had for a long time, and all of the married ones are GETTING PREGNANT! His sister too. I blame that on the age differential, since most of my friends are closer to my age and not even settled down yet. As far as my dating days, I dated both much younger and much older (well, it wasn't really dating. more like "having sex in a non-Clintonian sense with close friend on an occasional basis". he was 32. i was 19. when we started.) men. Oh, and some the same age. Couldn't really generalize as to differences by age class though.

-- Anonymous, June 04, 2001

I have a tendency to date younger-than-me people. The current is four years littler, and it's the first time I don't feel like I'm robbing the cradle. Though his friends act younger than their age and it's painful to hang out with them, he is preternaturally mature.

But there's definitely a gap in where we are in our lives, the choices we're making, the reasons we're making these choices, and a whole hell of a lot has to do with age. He's in his early twenties and not out of college yet, and thinking about what kind of adult he wants to be. I'm in my late twenties, and wrestling with the whole idea of a career, and grad school, and changing my life, and the fact that somewhere along the way, I've become an adult. We've both noticed that we've started to want different things, and that our lives are taking different turns, and it's something we've been talking about, slowly and painful-like.

The age thing used to bother me hugely - I lied to everyone about it, made him only two years younger than me, and was embarrassed. (But not as embarrassed as the long-ago ex-girlfriend "I'm sorry, what? Did you say you were nineteen?" mid-nookie conversation that will always, always haunt me.)

-- Anonymous, June 04, 2001

I've mostly dated younger... my wife was four and a half years younger (Ford), as was the last serious girlfriend previous to her. With the wife, we had more in common culturally than I usually do with people my own age. After the divorce, I dated a girl who was six years younger (still Ford), and we had fun arguing about music and cartoons. Then I dated a girl ten years younger (Carter!), and we could barely talk about anything except punk rock. Anything else and we just couldn't communicate.

But punk rock and sex is enough to get by on, right?

Of course it isn't, and after my self-imposed vacation from dating, I have found myself going more for other Nixon babies. My current fling is only seven months younger than me, and the Big Crush that i'm hoping will turn into something is two years younger.

-- Anonymous, June 04, 2001

My most recent boyfriend was 15 months older than me, the first time, I dated anyone more than a year older. Worked just fine, age-wise. I had a couple of boyfriends who were about 6 years younger than me. Whatever the issues were, they were not age-related. The odd part was that, since I'm the youngest and my parents finished late, if I date someone whose parents started a family early - - well, I dated two men whose moms were the same age as my older sisters. Their grandparents were the same age as my parents. I got a bit of teasing from a friend about cradle-robbing, but wouldn't you know it, a couple of years later, she fell for someone who was 12 years younger. That never really got off the ground though.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2001

I love older men. Have now for years...

I'm 27 and the last one was 40, but I've gone as much as 21 years my senior. I think as I get older, age differences get even easier for me than they used to be.

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2001

my michael is two months older than i am. i went through a phase where i dated older men (anywhere from two years to 4 or 5 years, but not much older than that - i'm in college, and i don't date my profs, so i'm in a limited age range) and then while michael was in japan, before we started dating, i dated several men who were two or three years younger than me. i haven't found a pairing that works as well as me and michael yet; the ones who were older hated that i wasn't a legal drinker and couldn't go to bars with them, and the ones that were younger drove me nuts because they were mostly immature and unsure in relationships as well as having no sense of the history that, say, michael and i share at school. i kept having to stop and explain things that are second nature to me to the younger ones.

mostly i think michael and i work because we just do. it has nothing to do with age. age is just a convenience. (we are in different presidential eras, however. he was born the last day of carter's administration and i'm a reagan baby.)

-- Anonymous, June 05, 2001