<0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0><0>

You are invited to an Election Night Party!

A few of us will be gathering at the local homeless shelter to meet our new neighbors, should I-695 pass.

Here's what you can look forward to:

Barbecued Burgers Stale bun Extra-sour pickles 2 oz. of meat, burnt to a crisp Come early since only 30 burgers will be made to feed 50 people. Those late to the table will have to fight for leftovers.

Potatoe Salad (Republican recipe) Raw spuds - hacked in two with a meat cleaver No extras Hard to swallow, but very popular with voters

Waffles Flip-flopped on a hot grill First you love 'em, then you hate 'em.

Chips (Legislative-style) Air-baked with hot air from political rhetoric. Mushy style.

Pop Locke Cola Served lukewarm

If I-695 goes down in flames, we'll enjoy "Chateau Defeate" Made from recently crushed Yakima Valley "sour grapes." Exhibits an odd 'fishy' bouquet.

For those who prefer beer, "I-695 Ale" will be on tap. It goes down easy, but leaves a bitter aftertaste. It's "only 2%" alcohol by weight (if you count the bottle, cardboard packaging, and the beer truck it was delivered in).

The band for the evening will be "Hogwash" It consists of one lone musician blowing his own horn. He's not bad, but he keeps playing the same tune over and over again.

No RSVP is required. Everyone present will vote every time someone shows up at the door to decide if we want to let that person in or not.

We'll all be dancing the Limbo later because, hey, that's where all our budgets are. How low can you go?

For dessert, we will be serving 'half-baked' upside-down budget cake. Topped with '100% certifiably nuts.'

Party Tricks The great Lame-Beanie, along with a team of synchronized accountants, will make the state budget surplus disappear using sleight of hand and smoke and mirrors

Party Games: Pink slip toss Budget balancing Charade(s) Circular Relay Race Pin the Blame on the Donkey Accounting Shuffle(board)

Your political leaders will be performing the ever popular "Dog-and-Pony Show," tap dancing around the issues. (it's the same old song and dance)

For your entertainment in the event that I-695 passes, our budget specialist will be singing a different tune -- "Is that all there is?"

To soothe upset stomachs from bellyaching about budget cuts, plenty of extra-strength antacid will be on hand.

-- John Nichols (johnnichols@home.net), October 21, 1999

Answers

Auntie Em! Auntie Em! It was a dream! It was just a dream! Oh there is no place like home with I-695 approved!

And after you wake up, you see that it was all a dream created by the Sandmen themselves... the Olympians.

-- Sandy D (sandy_d1@yahoo.com), October 21, 1999.

Hey Sandy,

Are you sure you didn't mean to say: "Anti-Eyman! Anti-Eyman!"

=john=

-- John Nichols (johnnichols@home.net), October 21, 1999.

Hush! Hush! The above was just a bad ol' dream from one of the wicked witches of Olympia. In the morning the light of truth and freedom will drive the rantings and ravings of those bad ol' demons; you know they can't stand the light of truth and freedom; they come to give you bad dreams and indigestion. Now, be assured, knowing that the truth and freedom of 695 are coming in the morning - November 2nd.

On to Victory,

Richard Henderson

-- Richard Henderson (grassroots3@earthlink.net), October 21, 1999.