Mid Program Reflection Paper By Susan Jarosak

The M.Ed program has been a transformative learning experience for me in many ways. To begin with, the opportunity to reflect on and discuss issues and ideas about teaching and learning with others has been valuable. Learning how to create a learning community over the airwaves with miles between us has been an interesting experience. Many in our cohort group are exploring collaborative learning and enjoying successes in joint projects. I now understand the value of creating a safe learning environment where participants can share their experiences and learn from one another. I have many new insights about teaching and learning since the beginning of the M.Ed program. The self-directed learning framework of the program has helped me understand the value of such a design. Over the years, I have read many articles and books on self-directed learning, but the experience of being one has changed the way I think about it. My assumption was that all adults can be successful self-directed learners. I've learned that in order for students to do well in a self-directed environment, they must have a great deal of support from those who designed it, namely the instructors. We cannot expect learners to automatically know how to think about what they want to learn, especially after years of prior conditioning as passive recipients of information. For example, without knowing and understanding the possibilities of research, it is difficult to just "come up with" a topic and explore it in a meaningful way. Self-directed learning requires learners to go through a process of "unlearning"--to understand and recognize that we will be taking responsibility for our own learning, and then reflecting on our assumptions about our role as a student. This pushes us to learn how to think about our own needs and reflect on what is important to us. The process of being a self-directed learner has taught me how important a guide or facilitator is to help me attain my goals. The strength of our cohort has been our advisors (guides) who have helped us see possibilities and to make meaning of what we're learning to our lives. Realizing new possibilities for the role of adult educators has been especially enlightening for me. Patricia Cranton, author of the book, "Understanding and Promoting Transformative Learning," discusses this new way of seeing the role of adult educators. Cranton, discussing educator Paulo Freire's writings about educators assuming the role of co-learner: "The educator who is a co-learner acts as an equal participant in the process of learning, discovering, and changing." She adds, "The effective co-learner is one who builds an atmosphere of mutual trust and respect, sincerely engages in learning, stimulates enthusiasm and interest in others, and challenges others' values and beliefs." (P. 128). I have also learned how important critical reflection is to the adult learner. And, how difficult and empowering the process is to reflect on my own assumptions about my beliefs and practices. On one hand, it is hard work to think so deeply and then realize some of what you believed to be true is not necessarily true. Brookfield discusses why this is such a difficult process. He says, "Becoming aware of the implicit assumptions that frame how we think and act is one of the most puzzling intellectual challenges we face in our lives. It is also something we instinctively resist, for fear of what we might discover." (P. 2). Brookfield uses many examples of commonly held beliefs to illustrate his points about assumptions educators make. And, the danger in making assumptions about what is good for our students. One of these examples is the practice of asking students to sit in a circle instead of traditional rows. I have always assumed, because others whom I respect use this method, that a circle promotes democracy; everyone is equal. Brookfield points out that for students that are confident, and used to social conversation, the circle works fine. But for others who are shy, intimidated, or different in physical appearance, the circle can be a scary, humiliating place. However, reflection does not have to be a deep and dark scary place. In fact, it can lead to greater confidence, which is the case with me. I realized some of the assumptions I have carried with me since I was very young are simply not true. One of the most important myths that I uncovered through reading Brookfield's book was that students who always get good grades do not necessarily make the best teachers. Why? Because they do not understand what it's like to struggle. Whew! Thank you Stephen Brookfield. The other insight I have is about trying to meet learner's needs. Unless learners are engaged to think critically about themselves and their assumptions, they may not know what they need or want. If the goal of adult learning is to foster emancipatory learning, as Freire, Mezirow and Cranton suggest, we are not doing our jobs if we simply ask people what they need. Our M.Ed cohort would not be a place of discovery and deep learning if we had learned how to think critically and reflect on our beliefs. Transformative learning occurs when people reflect on their assumptions or expectations about what will occur, find these assumptions to be at fault, and revise them. Therefore, instead of asking people what they need, I support the idea of engaging them in a dialogue about their underlying assumptions and expectations. In conclusion, my experience in the M.Ed program has definitely influenced my thinking and acting about being an educator and a learner. The classes, readings, and discussion have stimulated my interests in teaching adults and I have learned a great deal from my cohort members. Together, we have pushed each other to see new possibilities and shared in the discovery process of what it means to be effective educators and good learners.

References: Brookfield, Stephen. "Becoming a Critically Reflective Teacher." San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1995. Cranton, Patricia. "Understanding and Promoting Transformative Learning." San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 1994.

-- Anonymous, October 15, 1999