Ever get caught talking in your sleep? What's the best conversation you've had with someone who was completely asleep?

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999

Answers

Yay first entry! First time! My hubby of 2 months talks in his sleep all the time!! I never do. I haven't been able to hold a conversation with him, but here is a sampling of things he has said:

1. Joy, you wanna hold my glass cuz it's getting a little warm. 2. Wanna get married? (this before we were married) 3. What's broken? The wheel? Nope. hmm mmm 4. Why don't you just get a new blouse? 5. I know what you mean by the ease factor. 6. _______ is a thief, I don't trust him.

One time he held up his arm and was apparently flicking the remote control in his sleep, but there wasn't anything in his hand. He's pretty entertaining. It's like listening to one side of a phone conversation.

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999

I am exactly like Joy's husband. I say all kinds of weird things in my sleep. My husband always wants to know what I dreamed of the night before, so he can try to figure out how what I was saying fits in. He finds this very entertaining. Except for the one time I pushed him playfully and called him my ex-boyfriends name. He didn't like that too much, and I still can't remember what I was dreaming about.

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999

This is so me it's not even funny. There was one night when I was about 16/17... I sat up in bed and I had a hold of my sister's foot. I told her that she needed new socks because these one's had holes in them. (her feet were bare)

Another time was on the way home from the bar-I was 21 and one day old, so I was a bit inebrieated, and I fell asleep and began telling my cousin what crow's feet look like. Three toes, long claws, real wrinkly and dirty like they've been around but never had a decent cleaning...(yes, I said all of this)...sort of a grayish color, generally not that cute at all...I woke up mid-sentence because she was laughing so hard that she woke me up. I was just like, what the hell was I just saying?? It took her the rest of the drive home just to tell me. Who has dreams about crows feet, anyway? That means something, but I'm not sure it's something I'd want to know.

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999

My boyfriend and i stay on the phone until one or both of us falls asleep every night, and though we've both said lots of funny things, i can only remember one, i don't know where i was going with this, but mid-sentence i asked him (apparently from the middle of a dream):

"But how many hotdogs would you have to EAT?!?!"

i don't know where it came from. He made me go to bed after that one...

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999

When I would go on camping trips with my churches youth group I'd always end up in the tent with the girl who talked in her sleep. My favorite sleep talk from L- was the time she sat straight up in her sleeping bag and said, "That stupid candy bar!" She kept going on about the candy bar while a friend and I tried to get her to go on. She ended it by mumbling, "throw the cheeseburger away, friendly." Just thinking about that cracks me up.

I do remember trying to carry on a conversation with my husband when we were just friends. I was trying to impress him during a late-night chat when I began to get very sleepy (it was around 4 am). He asked me about my life philosophy and I, with eyes open and brain obviously shut down said, "I love chickens! Such nice creatures." He still teases me about that.

-- Anonymous, October 13, 1999

My dad once tried to wake me up on a family vacation and I evidently mumbled something that sounded like a curseword. When he asked me what I had said my reply was "Duh, dad! That's Spanish for batteries. I have enough damn batteries!"

I also remember being on a date with my high school sweetheart in her new dorm in college where we were talking about our relationship. Being that it was about 4am, she was a little sleepy, and started going on and on about how if you never had eyes you'd never know if you had a green crayon or a gray one and how she felt sad for all of the gray crayons out there because kids never really use them when they can just use a black crayon and not color as hard. I started to argue that I was more sympathetic to the eyeless people, when I heard her snore.

-- Anonymous, October 14, 1999

The "throw the cheeseburger away, friendly" thing cracked me up. I'm still laughing about it.

When I was in 8th grade, my cousin and I had this fascination for doing the Mr. Woodchuck/Jackalope voice... whenever we were together, we'd carry on normal conversations in this high-pitched tone. One night, I was sleeping in my mom's bed and she was reading. I turned over and yelled, "Wood!" in my Mr. Woodchuck voice, plain as though I was awake.

Another time, my friend Liz and I were spending the night at our friend Heather's house. Liz and I were on the floor, reading Heather's old diary from elementary school and junior high. We could barely breathe, we were laughing so hard reading about Heather's love for "Pro-Basketball Paul", and the time on the hayride that Pete got an "umbella" because it started to "sprinkee". We nearly peed our pants when Heather announced in large capitals that she was going to "Rendenky" (it was supposed to be Kentucky) for the weekend.

Heather finally spoke up. "I'll remember this," she said.

"No, you won't, Heather. You're asleep," Liz told her.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY ANYMORE!" Heather yelled at us.

She doesn't remember any of it, sure enough. It was one of those things where she could hear us but she had no clue what was going on. Weird. Eerie.

-- Anonymous, October 14, 1999

My mom heard me talking in my sleep when I was about 12. She came in and asked me if i was okay. apparently i sat up and said to her "I have some silence in a bag downstairs."

-- Anonymous, October 14, 1999

This is a great topic because, since I was about 20, I have been known to say some bizarre stuff just as I am waking up.

Once, I said to my boyfriend: "Isn't it strange how the bathroom is the most talked about room in the house?"

Last year, I woke up and was saying I was worried about Henry (my cat, made famous in the "stranger dates" forum). When asked why I was worried about him, I answered "Hen spent all his money."

Boyfriend said: "What money?"

"His Thanksgiving money."

"What'd he spend it on?"

I answered, all exasperated "You know, food and stuff!"

-- Anonymous, October 16, 1999

Lately i've been doing a lot of research on mechanical stuff for various strange projects i'm working on, and according to my girlfriend i've been blathering lots of technical stuff in my sleep about torque and inertia. She thinks it's cute, which shows you that she's the girl for me:)

-- Anonymous, October 18, 1999

When I was in college, my roommates and I thought about setting up a tape recorder to record things like this:

I apparently giggle in my sleep all the time. Not my regular laugh, this weird giggling. My roommate Amy was taking a nap one afternoon, and my other roommate Jen and I were quietly watching TV. Amy sat up suddenly, looked at us, and said "Just wait 'til Amy wakes up..." and then laughed. A few weeks later, Jen sat up in bed and yelled "I must have left my big mouth around here somewhere!"

-- Anonymous, October 18, 1999

Okay, this is an old forum, but I just started reading Squishy and I think this one's hilarious, so I'm gonna post, anyway. Once, in my sleep I said, "I hate Smash Mouth" (Is it one word or two?) Anyway, the strange thing is, I don't hate Smash Mouth. And my roommate at the time always talked in her sleep. Once she woke me up, saying, "Kathy, Kathy, get down, you're gonna fall. You're gonna make Angela mad if you fall." (Angela lived in the apartment below us). This is sort of off the subject, but it's about something I did in my sleep, so...one time I took off my clothes while I was sleeping.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

I had a friend who was sleeping in my bed with me. She had been getting on my nerves all week, which made me paranoid, I guess. One night I woke up saying very loudly, "NO, I WON'T!!!"

No idea what question I was answering.

One of my friends can carry a conversation with someone else in the room. His roommate would yell his name and tell him the bed's on fire. My friend would nod and say, "that's okay, the firetrucks will come and put out my hair with all the beer we have here."

He has no recollection of these conversations, hee hee.

-- Anonymous, December 23, 1999

No one's going to see this.

It was about three or four in the morning. I was about 15 years old. My mom woke me up, very concerned, and said, "Where is it?" I said, "Where is what?" She started pushing against me and trying to roll me over on my stomach, saying, "Where'd you get it? Where? Show me now. It's infected, isn't it?" I pushed her off of me and said, "WHAT are you talking about?" She goes, "Your tattoo. Don't try to hide it. You got one and now it's infected. Let me look at it." She apparently had a dream that I got a tattoo without her permission and I had picked up some disease from it. I was really pissed that she woke me up, and she has no recollection of any of this.

-- Anonymous, February 24, 2000

During the summer before my sophomore year at college I lived more at my friends' apartment than in my dorm room. One night Grant and I fell asleep on the living room floor. He woke me up talking about yams.

"Yams?" "Yams." "What about yams?" "You know, yams! They're like sweet potatoes!"

The next morning he had no recollection of that conversation.

I haven't been known to talk in my sleep, but at that point when I'm about 99% asleep, I have caught myself muttering and mumbling incoherently.

-- Anonymous, February 24, 2000

I don't know why I'm bothering to post... but oh, well...

My boyfriend not only talks in his sleep, he carries on bizarre conversations. Somehow I'm always awake during his best ones and it's quite fun to humor him...

Justin: Hey. Hey. Have you found my dream machine?
Me: What?
Justin: My dream machine. I can't find it anywhere. My dream machine. You know?
Me: ((giggling)) No, where'd you lose it?
Justin: I don't know, but it's right here. Nevermind.

((After watching the movie "Babe")) Justin: Don't kill the duck, you'll have to cut his head off and he'll bleed everywhere.
Me: I hate it when that happens.
Justin: Don't worry, baby. They don't really kill the duck. He just leaves footprints on the floor.

One time, we had a very in-depth conversation about sex. It lasted about an hour and he was being very flip about the whole thing: "Well, I don't want to do it if you're going to make a big fucking issue about it, but I think it might feel pretty good." He remembers zilch and I can't really hold it against him since he is NOTHING like this during normal waking hours. He also asked me, after filling my tank with gas, if my car ran on diesel.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

I have a friend who is such a sleepaholic that she will carry on completely rational conversations with me while SHE'S SOUND ASLEEP. There are only two ways to wake her up: physically shake her or say something so shocking that it jolts her to her senses, like "It's five in the afternoon. You're supposed to be in class." (This is how I got her to wake up at 10 a.m. during a weekend trip to New Orleans.)

She also answers the phone while asleep. I learned a long time ago that if she picked up the phone and said "Hah-low" that was a clear sign she was not awake. I had to say things like "The production meeting started an hour ago. Where are you?"

One morning, I -- in severe pain which I later discovered was a kidney stone -- tried to wake her to take me to the emergency room. She DID wake up, but I'm so used to her sleeping through conversations I didn't think she WAS awake, and I drove myself to hospital.

We're an awful pair: me with insomnia and her with near-narcilepsy.

-- Anonymous, June 09, 2000

Oh, Justin was quite the chatterbox this weekend. Let's see...

Justin: ((very happily, excitedly)) Hey, Mia?
Me: Yeah?
Justin: You take postcards?
Me: Postcards??
Justin: Yeah, you take those and your Internet connection and you mmmphh-mrrrphh-mmmmmph.... zzzzz....

Me: ((thinking he's awake)) I'm gonna go take a shower, okay?
Justin: Wait, wait.
Me: Okay.
Justin: You know how if you're taking a nap and you promised to clean out that corner... ((realizing even in sleep that he's not making any sense)) Oh, nevermind.

Justin: You know, I really like you, and I don't even have to feel like I should barf on your toes every five minutes to let you know.

Justin: ((practically yelling)) HEY! YOU WANNA GO ON A WALK!?

I was convinced tonight before I left that he was asleep. I didn't believe him when he was laying down, so I made him get up and walk out to my car with me so I knew he was awake. He stepped on a thistle, so even if he was by some chance sleepwalking, that jolted him awake.

-- Anonymous, June 12, 2000