What's the best way to get rid of a roommate?

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My roommate is driving me crazy, and I have got to find a way to get rid of her! What do you think is the best way to kick out, scare away, or just plain get rid of a roommate?

-- Chyna (chyna@attackmonkey.com), September 24, 1999


Well, apparently putting a long-distance block on the phone was a good first step. I got home last night and she freaked out on me. I'll write a journal entry about it; chock full o'details. :)

-- Chyna (chyna@attackmonkey.com), October 27, 1999.

the quickest way i found to tormenting, and ultimatelygetting rid of, a roommate is to start supergluing various 'important' items to their furniture. you know, things like that notebook they need for the open note test in their 8 a.m. western civ class...worked for me. as soon as she realized that that notebook wasn't going anywhere, she ripped her notes out, started crying and ran out the door while stuffing them in her backpack. she was gone by the end of the week.

i know it sounds exceedingly evil, but that's only because you didn't know the girl. ;-)

-- jewels (jewels@iqzone.com), October 26, 1999.

confront her....thats probably the best. but easier said than done,eh? make noise when she sleeps,get into all her stuff,hit on her,just something. don't take all her crap

-- anna (deftonegr7@aol.com), October 26, 1999.

Tell her that she has 2 days to be out of your home, and at the end of 2 days, if she has not gotten out, change your locks, put all of her belongings outside, and take out a restraining order on her. It will the best money you have spent in a long time. She is crazy, nobody can blame you!

-- April Clark (theclark@gte.net), November 05, 1999.

you know, i've always found that delicate situations like these require resorting to classic ideas which always have and always will work. what i did last semester to get rid of the psycho i got stuck living with was rather simple. i waited until he went out for the evening, and then i cleared all the furniture from the center of the room. on the floor in the center of the room, i drew a chalk outline of a body, and wrote his name in the middle. when i knew he would be home soon, i lit about 35 candles or so around the room and some strong incense, and i completed by making a little cloth doll, writing his name on it with a felt tip pen, sticking little pins in it's head and chest, and then leaving it on his pillow. i left the room and spent the night at a friend's apartment. when i got back the next day, all his stuff was gone - he'd not only moved out of the room, but he'd left the university. rumor has it he's almost to the point of hospitalization for mental trauma. i know this probably seems harsh, but if you could only meet him, you'd know nothing less would do. i promise though, it's failproof.

-- alex brewer (sphinx@nyc.com), May 10, 2000.

I had the subscription to the satellite shut off and removed the smart card.

You know she might not have been so bored if she would have cleaned. Oh well it's the one thing that worked for me. If you can't do that put any form of entertainment including the telephone in storage. She'll get the hint.

Another way is to stop bathing and get a old mechanical typewriter and start stockpiling Nitric acid and cotton balls. Stock your closet with canned goods. Ask her to never leave you because you don't want to be alone in the end. And twitch alot.

The first idea is probably the best though ;)

-- Hep (lordhep@gamesnot.com), March 25, 2002.



-- Hep (lordhep@gamesnot.com), March 25, 2002.

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