The Toilet Paper Chronicles: Gallows Humor from the Y2k Underground

greenspun.com : LUSENET : TimeBomb 2000 (Y2000) : One Thread

It's official.

This book is coming out in October.

You may be in it.

(Names changed to protect the anonymous)

International Standard Book Number (ISBN)

ISBN # 0-967-49271-8

Pollies and Doomers alike:

Start your engines. Are you ready to be famous?

Hee. Hee.

-- bookmeister (bookmeister@book.meister), September 13, 1999

Answers

I know this may sound scary, but I'm a long time lurker and I understand the importance of protecting your identities.

That is why the names have been changed to protect the "anonymous."

-- bookmeister (bookmeister@book.meister), September 13, 1999.


I hope there's a recipe section. What IS the best way to serve canned eel?

-- Linda (lwmb@psln.com), September 13, 1999.

On a piece of toiler paper, on a toilet paper plate, with a toilet paper napkin.

-- yummmmyyyyeeee (yummy@yummyyy.com), September 13, 1999.

At the moment I am suffering with a cold, replete with phelgm and runny nose... and it occured to me when noticing I was about to run out of the soft tissues that as my preps currently stand I'd have to use TP....ouch!

-- Shelia (Shelia@active-stream.com), September 13, 1999.

Keep 'em coming guys.

This is the first announcement anywhere.

(At some point over the next three weeks a real email address will be posted here for you to direct comments)

For now, at least, it's "Poetry in Motion."

Go for it.

-- bookmeister (bookmeister@book.meister), September 13, 1999.



As in,

"What's your funniest quotation" that could grace the back cover of this book?

-- bookmeister (bookmeister@book.meister), September 13, 1999.


Keep in mind the title:

"Gallow Humor"

As in, it's the laughter that may keep us alive?

-- bookmeister (bookmeister@book.meister), September 13, 1999.


"Gallows" humor, that is.

It is late. Sorry.

-- bookmeister (bookmeister@book.meister), September 13, 1999.


Please reference the book "How to Shit in the Woods."

-- ~~~ (~~~~@~~~.com), September 14, 1999.

How To Sh*t In The Woods, by Kathleen Mayer. 2nd Edition Revised, 1994, Ten Speed Press. ISBN 0-89815-627-0.

BTW, I recommend Charmin Plus Bathroom Tissue, with Unscented Natural Aloe. Serves double-duty, if ya know what I mean. No *ouch* formula, at either end.

**For information only; this poster has no affiliation with Ten Speed Press or Procter & Gamble**.

-- Spindoc' (spindoc_99_2000@yahoo.com), September 14, 1999.



P.S.,

If any of you are contemplating seeking me out and confiscating my special store of Charmin w/Aloe, I must warn you that I am well armed! I will defend my stash from the bottom of my...well, you know...but you'd have to get past my wife first! She is even MORE passionate a defender of this product than I! (and she is a better shot).

Andy! I challenge you to prove that, ounce for ounce, your gold stash will be more valuable than my special TP stash when TSHTF!

You Have Been Warned.

-- Spindoc' (spindoc_99_2000@yahoo.com), September 14, 1999.


Shelia: Isn't that what hair on arms is for? :-)

-- A (A@AisA.com), September 14, 1999.

EMERGENCY TP Question:

You find yourself hiding out in a big library somewhere with food, weapons, etc., but no toilet paper. In such a situation, what books would you be 'willing' to sacrific for the cause (assume for the sake of this poll that all the books 'feel' the same)?

-- Cigarette Smoking Man (csm@smoke.com), September 14, 1999.


I'd be willing to sacrifice "Das Kapital", "Mein Kampf", and aanything by Lenin, Mao, or Kim Il Sung.

-- Mr. Mike (mikeabn@aol.com), September 14, 1999.

Spindoc:

Now you've done it. You let the cat out of the bag re Charmin Plus. This fabulous product was one of the best kept secrets of the whole Y2K debacle. Now neither you nor I will probably ever see another roll of it . I was planning my Y2K retirement based on reselling it by the square. Ah, well. Easy come, easy go.

To the rest of y'all: Pay close attention when Spindoc says he will defend his stash. If you haven't tried this stuff, you have no idea how serious he is.

Godspeed,

-- Pinkrock (aphotonboy@aol.com), September 14, 1999.



Has anyone actually tested these products on "Dirty" fan blades? (Who is going to clean all the clogged and damaged fans in 2000?)

-- Almost ready (I_think2000@hotmail.com), September 14, 1999.

Moderation questions? read the FAQ