Hi, folks, I just got this from a friend. She happens to be a Christian, a Methodist, actually, but she is open minded enough to find this funny, apparently. I am very hopeful that the corn cob challenged folks don't start getting all pushed out of shape. It's a JOKE, ok? But there is a certain amount of thought provoking content to be digested, as well.

Al

Subject: FW: kansas... Sent: 9/2/19 1:13 PM Received: 9/8/99 8:58 AM From: Bradford, Margaret, MBradford@Rogue.CC.OR.US To: 'Allen, Mary Beth', mbajd@earthlink.net 'Barnard, Elizabeth Quinn', ebarnard@terragon.com "'Carroll, Jean'" , sbarjean@aol.com 'Clemens, Sally', clemshaw@cdsnet.net 'Colvin, Penny and Hayden, Curtis', pcolvin@mind.net "'Cowing, Val'" , valcowing@hotmail.com 'David & Michele Gester', wander@echoweb.net 'Drake, Tommi and Malcolm', jumpoff@echoweb.net 'Gerloff, Laurie and Lambrose, Steve', lgsl@cyber-dyne.com 'Goracke, Susan', sgoracke@continet.com "'Klein, Jeanne'" , jklein@or.blm.gov 'Korbulic, Mary and Paul', korbulic@chatlink.com 'Kramer, Patti', pkramer@rogue.cc.or.us "'Moodie, Kelly and Dave'" , kmoodie@grantspass.k12.or.us 'Sue and Ferron' , suefer@roguefuntrips.com "'Woods, Catherine and Michael'" , cwood@cdsnet.net

> And God Said, Let There Be Light in Kansas > > By Gene Weingarten > Washington Post Staff Writer > Saturday, August 14, 1999; Page C01 > > Memo to: The members of the Kansas Board of Education > > From: God > > Re: Your decision to eliminate the teaching of evolution as > science. > > Thank you for your support. Much obliged. > > Now, go forth and multiply. Beget many children. And yea, your > children shall beget children. And their children shall beget > children, and their children's children after them. And in time the > genes that have made you such pinheads will be eliminated through > natural selection. Because that is how it works. > > Listen, I love all my creatures equally, and gave each his own > special qualities to help him on Earth. The horse I gave great > strength. The antelope I gave great grace and speed. The dung > beetle I gave great stupidity, so he doesn't realize he is a dung > beetle. Man I gave a brain. > > Use it, okay? > > I admit I am not perfect. I've made errors. (Armpit hair--what was > I thinking?) But do you Kansans seriously believe that I dropped > half-a-billion-year-old trilobite skeletons all over my great green > Earth by mistake? What, I had a few lying around some previous > creation in the Andromeda galaxy, and they fell through a hole in > my pocket? > > You were supposed to find them. And once you found them, you were > supposed to draw the appropriate, intelligent conclusions. That's > what I made you for. To think. > > The folks who wrote the Bible were smart and good people. Mostly, > they got it right. But there were glitches. Imprecisions. For one > thing, they said that Adam and Eve begat Cain and Abel, and then > Cain begat Enoch. How was that supposed to have happened? > > They left out Tiffany entirely! > > Well, they also were a little off on certain elements of timing and > sequence. > > So what? > > You guys were supposed to figure it all out for yourselves, anyway. > When you stumble over the truth, you are not supposed to pick > yourself up, dust yourself off and proceed on as though nothing had > happened. If you find a dinosaur's toe, you're not supposed to look > for reasons to call it a croissant. You're not big, drooling > idiots. For that, I made dogs. > > Why do you think there are no fossilized human toes dating from a > hundred million years ago? Think about it. > > It's okay if you think. In fact, I prefer it. That's why I like > Charlie Darwin. He was always a thinker. Still is. He and I chat > frequently. > > I know a lot of people figure that if man evolved from other > organisms, it means I don't exist. I have to admit this is a > reasonable assumption and a valid line of thought. I am in favor of > thought. I encourage you to pursue this concept with an open mind, > and see where it leads you. > > That's all I have to say right now, except that I'm really cheesed > off at laugh tracks on sitcoms, and the NRA, and people who make > simple declarative sentences sound like questions? > > Oh, wait. There's one more thing. > > Did you read in the newspapers yesterday how scientists in > Australia dug up some rocks and found fossilized remains of life > dating back further than ever before? Primitive, multicelled > animals on Earth nearly 3 billion years ago, when the planet was > nothing but roiling muck and ice and fire. > > And inside those cells was . . . DNA. Incredibly complex strands of > chemicals, laced together in a scheme so sophisticated no one yet > understands exactly how it works. > > I wonder who could have thought of something like that, back then. > > Just something to gnaw on. > > Copyright 1999 The Washington Post Company >

-- Al K. Lloyd (all@ready.now), September 08, 1999

Answers

"You're not big, drooling idiots. For that, I made dogs."

Yeah!! (Cats Rule, Dogs Drool...)

-- Brooks the Cat (brooksbie@hotmail.com), September 08, 1999.

More anti-creation drivel/propaganda. You get people to laugh so you can tell them a lie. Make God out to be a fool and not powerful enough to create EVERYTHING from nothing, and in a short time frame. Way to go.

You won't be laughing when you stand before Him. Neither will the Theistic evolutionists.

-- Not Stupid (did.it.@ll.in.6.days), September 08, 1999.

stupid, yeah, but did you LAUGH? Laughing will make you feel better, doncha know?

Al

-- Al K. Lloyd (all@ready.now), September 08, 1999.

sorry, I MEANT Not Stupid.

Al

-- Al K. Lloyd (all@ready.now), September 08, 1999.

Cool, very cool Al. I appreciate alternative thought.

Now where did that cat go? I need to drool on something...

tail waggin'...

The Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), September 08, 1999.

LOL 8^> I love it!!! Thanks Al, I needed this today :)

-- Brent James Bushardt (brentj@webt.com), September 08, 1999.

Not Stupid, dude, have you no sense of humor? Are you so wrapped up in Christian belief structures and DOGma that you have lost your sense of humor? Damn, but that tells me you go too far in your beliefs if you cannot laugh.

bummer dude...

scratchin' an itch...

The Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), September 08, 1999.

Oh and another thing...

FYI - in his later life after all his travels, Charles Darwin DID become of the Christian faith.

scratchin' at the bookshelf....

The Dog

-- Dog (Desert Dog@-sand.com), September 08, 1999.

A-1, Al! Loved it.

Now I get to see if you have a place on my list of people I admire, because they know how to take a flame, LOL.

I need to go look thru my old copies of Natural Science, and look for Stephen J. Gould articles, cause you KNOW this is going to turn into another one of those 100+ postings threads, where everyone is quoting their favorite source. I was caught sorely off guard, on the last one.

-- Bokonon (bok0non@my-Deja.com), September 08, 1999.

Oooops, never mind, Al. The latest Waco thread stole the thunder. S'ok, I din't find time to look up the Gould articles anyway.

-- Bokonon (bok0non@my-Deja.com), September 08, 1999.

Hey, Al:

Do you think all of those people in the cc: address list really want to have their private E-mail addresses posted before the eyes of strangers and engines of spambots?

-- Randolph (dinosaur@williams-net.com), September 09, 1999.

Randolph, no I don't, and if there were a way to undo that, I would have right after I posted it. For that matter, whover sent it to me shouldn't have included all those email addresses either. But, mea culpa. Please don't e them, unless you're sending them money.

Al

-- Al K. Lloyd (all@ready.now), September 10, 1999.

There is DOGMA and then there is Defense of the Truth.

Making God out as a wimpy, lying, fool is NOT funny and should NOT be tolerated. I can laugh as easily as the next person. Just not at garbage like this. Did you laugh when the movie "the last temptation of Christ" came out? What about the one were He and his disciples are made out to be gay? Did that make you bust a gut? Christ is malingned enough in this fallen world, why add to that?

Try going here and doing some research. It will do you good.

http://www.answersingenesis.org

-- Not Funny, (not@t.all), September 10, 1999.

There is DOGMA and then there is Defense of the Truth.

. I can laugh as easily as the next person. Just not at garbage like this. Did you laugh when the movie "the last temptation of Christ" came out? What about the one were He and his disciples are made out to be gay? Did that make you bust a gut? Christ is malingned enough in this fallen world, why add to that?

Try going here and doing some research. It will do you good.

http://www.answersingenesis.org

-- Not Funny, (not@t.all), September 10, 1999.

Not Funny, Hey--steady, boy! This was a JOKE. It was FUNNY. I don't think it makes God out as a wimpy, lying, fool. I actually think it is trying to point out what fools WE are, especially those of us who refuse to use the brains god gave us to THINK.

Think! God wants you to!

Al

-- Al K. Lloyd (all@ready.now), September 11, 1999.