August 23, 1999

Commentary

Profiting from Y2 crazies

Bill Wellborn

As the millennium draws closer, lots of people have figured out ways to make money from the phenomenon. Businesses and consultants have popped up to take care of the Y2K bug, because people all over the world are aware of the potential problems that would occur if their computers aren't able to understand that, come Jan. 1, it's not only a new year but a new century.

Doomsayers have gotten a lot of attention amid Y2K predictions, because a potentially catastrophic event gives such people a reason to speak. In truth, though, the Y2K scare now appears no more of a threat than Nostradamus, who predicted, among other things, that a "great King of Terror" would fall out of the sky sometime in July 1999. A few years ago, there was the great earthquake scare, when reputed earthquake predictor Iben Browning stated matter-of-factly that on Dec. 3, 1990, the New Madrid fault would split open like a ripe cantaloupe. Despite seismic experts assuring citizens of the Mid-South that such an event was unlikely, many businesses and schools were closed and the crazies headed back to the hills to await doomsday.

The predicted Y2K disaster is a bit more real than Browning's or Nostradamus' misguided predictions, but preparations can be made other than canceling life for a day and taping up your windows. As long as you can get your computer's calendar right, you'll probably survive.

There's still plenty of money to be made before the biggest New Year's Eve bash of the century, however. If you are one of the unfortunate ones who have yet to profit from the Y2K phenomenon, here are a few ideas that could make some money with proper marketing. I would pursue these myself, but I'm too busy getting ready for the end-time.

Real Estate Options: Buy membership lists from religious fringe groups and survivalist zealots, then take out purchase options on any real estate they own. Chances are, they'll sell them for a fraction of their worth the closer it gets to Dec. 31, 1999.

Portable Home Generators: One of the biggest fears is that all power will stop when the year turns into 2000. I remember fiddling with a hand-cranked generator in high school physics that would fire up a light bulb if you cranked it hard enough. Count on a substantial return on investment for these little babies.

How-To Books: The beauty is in the titles, not the content. The fearful of the world would be quick to buy anything titled "What the Government Isn't Telling You About Y2K" or "How to Become Y2K Compliant in Five Minutes."

End-of-the-World Survival Kits: These products exploit the fears of the gullible and the weak of heart, which could be considered the very definition of niche entrepreneurship. A kit might include a gun, freeze-dried provisions for a month, batteries, water, a Bible, a comb and some Wet-Naps. If you hurry, you might be able to strike a deal with Wal-Mart.

Millennium Survivalist's Handbook: How to live when technology stops cold. Chapters on fire-starting, lean-to construction, snares for wild game and latrine design. (For you wanna-be entrepreneurs, these could be lifted from the Boy Scout Handbook.) Other chapters might feature truck-patch farming, hunting and skinning, guerrilla warfare tactics and the best way to cook a dog.

One more note: If you pursue any of these ideas, make sure you have no longer than a four-month business plan.

Bill Wellborn is editor of Memphis Business Journal. He can be reached at (901) 259-1721.

-- Y2K Pro (y2kpro@hotmail.com), August 23, 1999

Answers

Well to Mr. Bill Wellborn and his ilk I have two "emergency" kits they might find usefull.

1. The "How to get this stick out of my ass kit"

2. The "How to properly deflate my head so I can fit through the door kit"

-- CygnusXI (noburnt@toast.net), August 23, 1999.

Mr Wellborns mis-directed humor brings into focus the dark side of the cry wolf scenario. Since April of this year, every critical failure date has come and gone with no reported problems. The highly publicized GPS time re-set, an event guaranteed to bring the world to its knees, has also passed quietly into the night. You can bet your bottom dollar that Y2K PRO was rubbing his hands in glee about 5:15pm, PDT, on Saturday evening. Now, all of us that are concerned with the rollover will once again be portrayed as wild-eyed fools looking for the next comet to catch a ride out of town. The folks that would normally give Y2K an intelligent look will now more securely attach the blinders for fear of being labeled as another of societies crazies.

When the BIG BAD WOLF comes a calling, only a scant few will be prepared. The rest wont know what hit em but the look of why didnt we listen will be permanently etched on their faces.

-- For (your@info.com), August 23, 1999.

And don't forget about the little "Y2K-OK" green stickers that Melvin the ex-crack dealer is now going around sticking on coffee machines, faxes, copyers, toasters, and VCR's for 20$ a sticker. After all isn't it nice to know you've had an "expert" research your equipment and declare it Y2K-OK. Hosptials, Banks, Gas Stations, Brokers, Insurance offices... so many unsuspecting victims, so little time.

-- (figure it@out. MS), August 23, 1999.

Give the big fries Mr. Cut and Paste

-- SgtSchultz (SgtHansSchultz@stalag13.com), August 23, 1999.

So how much are you making pro?

-- Andy (2000EOD@prodigy.net), August 23, 1999.

"Dead end, Whopper Boy"

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), August 23, 1999.

What drivel! Not preparing for Y2K in the face of everything we know-- and in the face of all the UNknowns--is irrational. And there's a ton of info on the prep forum on how to get the biggest bank for your prep dollar. Add on to that the fact that most of our preps are consumable, and the ergo is: it makes plenty of sense to be prepared and NONsense to be unprepared.

-- Sandmann (Sandmann@alasbab.com), August 23, 1999.

It never ceases to amaze me... These people view any form of preparation with contempt. Why is that? Even without Y2K it is entirely reasonable to take the steps that most of us have taken in these past months. It is a good thing to know how to start a fire with out lighter fluid and charcoal. It is a good thing to have extra food and water around, etc...

The kind of information that most of us "tinfoils" have picked up was once deemed essential for survival. I, for one, feel a lot better because I can rationally deal with a number of situations that would have left me panicked and depressed a year ago. How many people get lost or stranded in the wilderness each year? How many of these people could have gotten themselves out of the situation if they would have bothered to learn a little bit about the world?

-- dgi (dgi@fake.ing), August 23, 1999.

Who is this shithead Bill Wellborn and why should I care what he thinks?

-- Who is wellborn? (wellbornisa@shithead.com), August 23, 1999.

IM not a programmer just your everyday joe,yes i have a family.I have been readind this forum for about 2 week's, i have realized several things,one is actions speak louder than words.If you believe this to be true and i think everyone believe's it,than how can anyone believe the goverment about y2k,look at how much money they are spending trying to fix a so called bump in the road.My guess is they are way to late on this crisis to fix it.And as for them telling the truth where talking about clinton gummyment here.Thank god for these handfull of people who spend a lot of time researching, and risk a lot to get the word out,it is working my family is proof, and the word is spreading.The info here is free so what could these people possibly gain by saying all of these things? on the other hand why would the goverment want to keep us in the dark,i can think of a lot of good reasons,how about you?In short keep up the good work.

-- G Bailey (GBa6872290@aol.com), August 24, 1999.

Thank you G Bailey! Families like yours are THE reason 99% of us ever post! Some of us make light and poke fun, but, before I started posting, I looked forward to finding that every time I came here. What a roller-coaster ride this is. You hold tight one minute and the next minute you're throwing your hands in the air screaming, "weeeee".

It's always great hearing stories like yours.

-- Will continue (farming@home.com), August 24, 1999.