Begin your virtual makeover now. Or share your fashion woes.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Answers

Beth,

You didn't mention what you like wearing... what clothes do you feel good in? Which is not the same as 'what clothes do you wear most often and have trained yourself to feel comfortable in?'. I think it's more a matter of finding something that is both comfortable and matches your internal image of yourself- obviously you don't think of yourself as a soccer mom type but you feel that you're dressing that way.

I used to scour thrift shops and be more creative in how I dressed. Now I find that I don't care as much, I wouldn't want to devote the time to it and a man's suitjacket over a vintage dress with a stapled hemline and my brother's wingtips really don't match the internal image I have of myself.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

i hate victoria's secret. my boyfriend loves their stuff more than life itself. i think this stems from his most recent ex being very, very well endowed. i, on the other hand, am quite the opposite, and find shopping there to be incredibly humiliating, as i have to rifle through drawers six inches off the ground to even begin to find sizes that fit. i wish i could like their stuff, i really do, but i can't. victoria's secret makes me hugely insecure and i always leave feeling like crap.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Moira: I think my problem is that in my mental image of myself, I'm wrapped in an old moldy shower curtain and wearing combat boots. And I have really bad hair.

Aggie: If it makes you feel better, my boyfriend is always holding up bras in A-cup sizes and saying, "Wow, this is cute!" Then I show him the steel-girded version in my size, and he says, "Oh. Well, that's all right, too."

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Beth,

Isn't there a somewhat positive mental image you have of yourself? Even if you don't want to admit to it because you may be afraid that you don't quite match it- it's got to be there somewhere.

Okay if not, try to make one- dress yourself up different ways in your head and see which one fits you best. I can't believe I'm writing this- I feel like a loony but I hate the idea that your mental image of yourself involves a moldy shower curtain.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Ohh the horror of buying bras!! Matt wants me to wear pushup bras when I'm a c and a demicup does the same thing. Straps are NEVER right!! or the new strechy fabric that looks and feels so cool makes me feel like Grandma Moses chest!!

Because of my job I have had to dress up more and I have fallen in love with long skirts. You dont have to wear pantyhose (I HATE PANTYHOSE!!!) It makes you look taller (Im 5'1) Dresses with long skirts are cool too! The kind that hug the upper body a bit but hide the bottom!! Also they are very comfortable!

Try these ideas and see if they work!

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Sounds like the Ex-Bohemian look may be the way for you to go. Don't worry, all the ex-Vintage Vamps are doing this. It requires long skirts and lightweight sweaters (occasionally you can get away with a t-shirt - plain, of course, but textured). The nice thing about long skirts is that you can get away without hose; flat shoes or even boots (in the winter) are suddenly a viable option. I hate heels and I hate hose even more. I used to scream when I had to wear tights as a kid.

Personally, I've gone with pants since my office went business casual. This way I get to wear my Rockport suede loafers, which are like having air mattresses strapped to your feet. Aaaaah.

And you can never go wrong wearing all black. I need a separate closet for all my black clothes.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

It's all about the Infinity Dress...

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Oh, my office is way beyond business casual. People have been known to wear sweats. On hot days most people wear shorts, t-shirts, and sandals. We have a new employee who always dresses in color coordinated suits with hose and nice shoes, and none of us know what to make of her.

When I first started, I used to wear my striped hose and combat boots.

I left out a few of my rules: I do not wear uncomfortable shoes, ever. I don't mind tights, though, in the winter. Long skirts are okay as long as I can walk in them.

I realized yesterday that part of my problem was that I didn't have a decent pair of semi-casual (meaning not shoes to wear with a suit or a cocktail dress) black shoes for summer. I have some outdated black sandals from a few years ago that give me blisters, some mary janey things from that tired old phase, some platform things from four years ago that I can't believe I ever wore, and ... well, that's it. I remedied the shoe situation yesterday, and suddenly my wardrobe is much bigger.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Oh, yeah, and the reason I don't have any decent black shoes is that last summer I bought this pair of sandals at REI, and they are now my standard for comfort. They're reasonably cute on their own, and they are insanely comfortable. I can't bring myself to wear anything less comfortable for more than a few minutes. The problem: they're brown. They didn't match anything I owned when I bought them, so I had to tone down my entire wardrobe to soccer mom levels to match them.

I just realized, those damn shoes are the source of my entire problem!

My kingdom for a pair of comfortable black shoes.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

I wasn't going to tell you to dress like me. I gave up trying to be fashionable at all when I moved to the Bay Area - these hip kids are WAY too into themselves for me to want to compete. I just wore what I liked, and decided it was my own personal style.

Now I see all these good folks in your forum telling you to dress like me...am I suddenly fashionable?

The long skirt/big tunic-like top look is VERY comfy. It's even better if you buy long dresses, because all you have to do in the morning is select ONE (1) item of clothing, socks and shoes. And you're set.

I have both the long straight plain colored (with texture) skirts and the flowy, flowered, hippie/Indian print skirts. The tops mix and match with these. I wear a lot of color (blue, green and rust). I have matching, beaded jewelry (I also have goes-with-everything silver pieces). I wear my mocha Birkenstock clogs or brown Eastwind sandals with EVERYTHING ('cept the black).

I don't know what you'd do with your hair - mine is long. I brush it in the mornings, sometimes tie it back or clip back the top part, (I don't care that I look like a schoolgirl). I also wear it in french braids and pigtails occasionally. Long hair is really very versitile.

These are work clothes, dress up clothes. When I'm kicking around at home: sweats or jeans or shorts and a t-shirt. With a velvet shirt that I pretend is a jacket.

Good luck. I wish I could take you shopping - I love trying on clothes with girlfriends and playing dress-up that way. I used to work in retail and I got to dress our live window models. I loved putting together coordinating outfits for our display and just handing them to our models to dress themselves (much nicer than mannequins). A good shopping buddy does wonders on helping you pick out what's "you".

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Is this loose shirt/long skirt thing something baggy? Are these fitted sheath skirts or loose skirts?

The reason I ask is that clothes that are loose-fitting from shoulder to ankle do not look good on me. They look good on people with small upper bodies (either small shoulders or small chests). They look good on people with proportionally larger lower bodies. They look good on people who are the same size all over. On me, they make me look like my entire body (except for my skinny ankles) is the same width as my big shoulders and the same depth as my chest. I look like a potato with breasts.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

ieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

My rule of thumb, Beth, is if it's baggy on top, then tight (or straight) on bottom and if it's flowy on bottom, then tight on top. In other words, I wear tunics (or long, button-down shirts) with my straight skirts and tighter, fitted "women's" t-shirts and blouses with my flowy skirts. Keeps the proportions visually pleasing. The tight top with an A-line skirt gives one a nice outline, usually. It accents the female figure, to be sure (breasts, smaller waist, hips).

I am, however, a B cup. The tight tops always make people think my boobs are bigger than they actually are (I have reasonably good posture, which helps). I know there are a lot of other issues when you have larger breasts, and I'm afraid I'm not used to dealing with them.

Perhaps shorter tops that are tucked in? Maybe if you broke up the line of your body a bit (horizontal stripe, definite waistline) you'll successfully combat that "sacklike" line.

Again, this is something that would work better with trial and error, but maybe you'll get some starting points from all of us :-)

PS Oh, and I agree with Columbine. You may feel like a soccer mom, but you're still rather pretty. We all have our slum days, weeks, months, etc. A little vanity is good at times like this: I like to keep pictures around of myself that I like (pictures taken when I'm dressed up and actually feeling pretty) to look at when I'm feeling like a slob. It usually helps combat that part of my self-pity.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

I know this is supposed to be for YOU, but at least I can commiserate a bit and make you feel less alone for I am a fellow pseudo-potato...

I went shopping yesterday with my mom and sister and endured a handful of comments that just made my mental self-image plummet...(keep in mind that my mom and sister are not evil, the comments were just not well-timed):

#1. While shopping for undergarments, my mom points out this bra that looks very odd and LARGE. I then point out that it's almomst the same size as what I wear and go off to sulk in panties.

#2. My sister then asks why I wear boring underwear...I merely grimace at her, suppressing the urge to scream "THEY DON'T MAKE 'CUTE' SETS OF UNDERWEAR FOR TOP-HEAVY PEOPLE!"

#3. While having lunch, my sister is making fun of my mom and her "mom" clothes. She then tells me that she likes the clothes I get, but I buy them (i.e. the tops) too big. Keep in mind that my sister has the sort of body that supermodels (non-waifish) kill for, tall and thin, yet proportionally curvy and Stef seems to have the same sort of body-type as Beth, except i'm only 5'3". I resist the urge to skewer her my chicken-kabob.

So of course, for the rest of the day I started plotting ways to raise money for and calm my fears about breast reduction...

Anyway, I don't think the way I dress is anything particularly inventive or special... I have become enamored with Old Navy's painter jeans because they have a lower top than women's jeans (which I haven't worn in years) and are looser on the bottom. That evens out my legs so that I don't have so much of an inverted triangle look (I'm not very hippy, I just have the skinny ankle thing, so more fitted jeans make it look as though my hips are bigger than they really are. They also seem to make the flat butt thing look better too since they don't really hug the bottom of your butt.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

I'll tell you what works for me and other rock and roll types i know: used clothing stores. they're cheap and they give you some artistic cachet, you know "i am a poor musician / artist and can only afford this stuff because i starve for my art." it's easier for boys than for girls, and you might have to buy tops somewhere else, but lots of ten dollar corduroy pants will make you look cool. especially if you cut the ends off (they're never the right length).

i don't know where you'd go in sacramento though. there are several good places in boston (buck-a-pound, garment district, oona's - not to mention the urban outfitters bargain basement. god i miss that place) in pasadena there's a place called aardvark. it's freaky though. it's got paintings on the wall of all these aardvarks dressed up as streetwalkers.

it's tough if you have tits though. i'm a 36B, not huge, but tight shirts are a problem. i don't know what to do about that one.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Ooh, I like pants that don't make my butt look any flatter. Cool.

I should correct the impression I might be giving that I have some monster Dolly Parton chachas here. I vary between a 34C, a 34D, and a 36C. A month or so ago I actually purchased a couple of 36B bras, but now that I'm back on the pill I'm wearing 36Cs or 34Ds again. I don't think you've really hit Big Boob status until you're in double Ds or a 36D.

But combined with my wide shoulders, I just tend to be really top heavy. Remember in the 80s when everyone wanted wide shoulders for some reason? Those people were stupid. It really sucks when you weigh under 130 pounds and an extra large shirt is too small.

Oh, yeah, and Sacramento has tons of used clothing stores. I used to frequent them on a weekly basis. I'm just a little sick of them for the moment.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Beth, I know just how you feel! It's the same with me... I feel like I don't have a style of my own. I'm just wearing old stuff from college, mostly, with some Target-bought things here and there. I look very different from day to day, which can be fun in a way but I wish I had my own style.

I have the same top-heavy thing you do, too. It makes me look fat in pictures when only my face and the top of my torso is shown, when I'm not really fat at all.

I think part of the problem is that back in jr high and high school, I'd go on a big clothes-shopping trip with my mom two or three times a year, and end up with a bunch of new clothes all at once, which is very exciting. Now, I never do that - it's expensive and I don't enjoy shopping all that much. So I'm never very excited about my clothes anymore.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Beth, Beth, Beth... how am I supposed to contribute ideas when we've got no pictures of you? Yes, yes, I know you had some up on DJR, but they were old, and I don't even know if they're still posted in the archive, and they don't show the new glasses. So use that new dig. camera of yours and give us a few pix (and no, they don't have to confirm the "I'm skinnier when naked than clothed" statement you made...).

And, as for other advice, I can't believe no one has suggested ... VESTS! Kidding... but don't you love that ad (and I know, from the subject line of this question thread, that you do!).

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

No, I hate that ad! It's just stuck in my head so I used it as the title, and now I'll never get rid of it.

I won't have my new glasses for another week or two, and I am not taking any pictures until my hair grows out.

I think I've got another three months before it's presentable. I don't mind the length now, it's those damn layers I have to get rid of.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Okay, well. I'm not exactly top-heavy, it's more an all-over deal. And I also have no idea how to dress (see my uniform of denim shorts, t-shirt, and sandals). That has more to do with me no longer fitting in most of my good-looking clothes, though.

When I did wear 'real' clothes more often, though, I really liked these dresses with a fitted top, short sleeves, and loose flowing skirts (most with buttons all the way up the front). I think they looked really good. (I did, however, have to take out the thin shoulder pads they came with, or else I would look like a football player. Which wasn't the look I was going for.) Now if I just get off my butt and do something, I might be able to wear them again. But then I would have to deal with not having pockets, and I keep chickening out on that one.

I think you would look good in those, but you don't have the big hip issue, which I think makes the skirt drape nicely (or at least that's what I tell myself). That might mean you would look good in the skinny long sheath knit dresses, but I'm not sure anyone does. I know they make me look like the invasion of the hip monster.

Anyway, I used to wear brown blazers, long fit n' flare dresses, and whatever shoes I felt like (sandals, granny boots, sometimes sneakers). Back when I had style. But it was much easier to have style before my chest decided it was tired of being a 36B, and was really meant to be a 38C. Now the buttons on my dresses just pucker.

Personally, I want to get up the ambition & guts to copy (sort-of) the Evil Willow outfit. But that wouldn't go under the category of everyday clothing, would it? It's not like I wear the last few corset projects very much. ('But this one would be leather! It would be different!' My inner hip-person won't shut up and let my outer hippy person frump in peace)

You'd probably want to avoid fitted jeans or baggy tops, because they would emphasize any imbalances. Fairly fitted tops with loose bottoms (non-oversized t-shirts with cargo pants, or full skirts) would be good.

My, I'm long-winded today. But Criffin has decided I need to stop typing and pet him.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

I'm large (5'8", 230lbs.) Therefore finding ANYTHING that is mildly flattering and fits well is a challenge. On the other hand, I don't really give two figs about fashion trends -- I hate most of what's out there right now and am missing the late 80s when loose shirts and skirts were amply available at every store. Can't stand those clingy little tops that speckle the malls these days.

For work, I'm a die-hard jeans and a polo wearer. When I need to gussy up a bit, now that Land's End has introduced a plus line for their women's clothing, I'm golden. I get almost all my clothes from them. Hallelujah for non-tailored but well-made jersey stretch pants. If I need to dress up for meetings I throw on a matching pants/cardigan set, a scarf and a pin. Voila, business casual in 5 minutes.

Can't wear any kind of truly tailored pants/jackets right now -- the concept of big hips, small waist, large-ish bust seems to be lost on the fashion industry at the moment and I don't wear pantyhose so I get fat-lady leg chafe in skirts. If I'm gonna wear a skirt, I toss on a pair of leggings but that's kind of impractical in the DC summer heat.

It sucks to be fat when you're young. All the stuff in the plus size stores is geared towards dames twice my age and all the stuff in younger stores would maybe fit my pinky finger.

Thank goodness I can sew, or finding formalwear would just NOT work.

Witness this recent episode involving a bridesmaid dress (yes, I've been hit with the traditional bridesmaid dress woe thing)

So, my good friend M. asks me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding. I'm all excited, say yes and she sends me some faxes of ideas for the gowns. I'm liking what I'm seeing -- empire waists, long flowing skirts -- and she's talking dark raspberry/wine colors which is way cool by me. I tell her what styles I like and what I can actually wear based on the fact that my chest, waist and hips correspond to three different sizes on the charts.

I specified that I preferred a high-ish waist with a long full skirt -- like a lot of the pictures she showed me. Also I was absolutely deadset against any kind of slit skirt that requires showing leg. To boot anything fitted below the waist was going to cause problems with my hips. The other bridesmaids are all much thinner than I am so it's not really a big issue for them.

Couple of months later she has a dress for me to try on. It's fuschia. It's slit up to my THIGH. It has buttons going down one hip. The skirt is tight instead of full. In other words it looks like a bad Barbie dress from the 80s.

She bought a size 24 -- which I knew right off the bat was much too big. I was right -- it fit okay with some give in the hips, was too loose in the waist and sat on me like football gear in the shoulders. Oddly enough though the sleeves were too tight. Back it went, traded in for a size 20.

No dice -- top fits great, can't squeeze yon hips into it for the life of me.

We're supposed to go shopping for something else.

Oy vey. Save me.

On the hair/make-up front: I keep my hair long so it just needs the ends trimmed straight across every 6 months or so. I could go the barber and be perfectly happy. I've been blessed with easy-care hair. All I have to do is wash it and brush and nature does the rest. I hardly ever blow it dry unless I'm really late for something where having wet hair would not be appropriate.

Don't do makeup except for special occasions. i've had the same lipstick tube for about 5 years and the same compact of blush/eyeshadow for about 3. I use them maybe twice a year. End of story.

On good days, it takes me 15 minutes to get ready for work. 2 minutes to wake up, 10 to shower, 3 to get dressed.

Life is so much simpler that way. I can't understand why my mother and mother-in-law go through the whole rigamarole that they go through.

Different storkes for different decades I guess.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Oh also I forgot -- when I was a bit thinner, I guess I did kind of have a look -- a cross between bo-ho artist and fantasy peasant.

Lots of blousy shirts and tunics, with leggings and suede or embroidered vests, long flowing broomstick skirts, velvet skirts, swirling india cotton skirts and lots of long flowing dresses with fitted tops and swirling skirts.

Sort of "medieval princess for the 90s"

Worked well with my then-waist length hair, and curvy shape. When I'm at a healthy weight, I'm pretty much 38-28-40 so romantic styles tend to suit me well. Right now 46-38-52 isn't doing much for me in the style dept. Especially since I can't wear men's jeans anymore. Guh. The frustration.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Oooh, talk of dresses! Droooool. I am not particularly skinny, but I have fairly good proportions except lately with an expanding paunch. I hate my bust, though, and am grateful only that it balances/excuses my tush (maybe only in my imagination). Far worse, Beth, to have a large butt and no bust.

I'm about Beth's height, with a reasonable figure (except that I attempt to disguise my cleavage), and similarly refuse any kind of high-upkeep look (I would read Kim Rollins fascinated and aghast at the time she spent on herself) and to wear uncomfortable shoes. For me, the perfect item of clothing is a long dress with either no waist and a straight but not tight skirt or a drop waist with a looser skirt. Long skirts look good with flat sandals (summer) or boots (winter) or whatever inbetween shoe I can find (rare).

I wish Denver had more interesting (or is it just affordable?) used or vintage or consignment clothing stores. I love the idea of Beth's bedroom being decorated as an artist's interpretation of what a girl's bedroom should look like (something mentioned around when Lucy and Kymm visited, maybe?) with dresses hanging from the mouldings. Also the description of a suit of whitest, palest pink palpitated my heart. But if you can find a good pair of shorts overalls, buy a lifetime supply.

-- Anonymous, August 20, 1999

Get thee to Banana Repbulic and have a go. There are some very nice shirts this season - tailored, stretch (but not an obnoxious stretch) and just the right length.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 1999

Hey, Lisa Houlihan, sorry to make you sit around slack-jawed at my beauty routines; drool on one's collar doesn't really suit anyone, after all. For the record, I go clothes-shopping a couple times a month [never recreationally, always in quest of a specific item] and spend about ten minutes daily on makeup plus hair, tops. I can't really understand how that would blow your little mind, but whatever. I'm comfortable with the amount of energy I expend on fashion et beaute; it's fun for me, I enjoy decorating myself and treating everything I put on as a sort of costume that filters the way the world sees me. What irritates me is that I'm compelled to live on a planet where I am constantly judged on my looks, but any effort I put into improving my outward appearance is taken as evidence of frivolity, airheadedness, and egoism.

Anyway, so we were talking about clothes. I like jeans that ride on the hip rather than the waist; they look more up-to-the-minute and [I'm talking to you, Beth] since they sort of flatten out anyone's ass, being loose in the vicinity of the cheek, they will also disguise a lack of roundness in that area.

For makeup, I've always favored that '40s starlet look of a matte, even face, little eye detail [mascara alone, and only if you have blonde lashes, as do I] and dark lipstick. It's timeless, easy to maintain [what do those eyeliner chicks do, anyway, use eyedrops all day so that they don't have to blink? that crap ends up all over my face within a half-hour]. A nearly-naked face does look better with a shaped brow, but that only takes a few [painful] minutes every couple of weeks in upkeep. Plucking friends with darker brows than mine are constantly complaining of eyebrow stubble, though.

Lately I've also taken to wearing toenail polish. It doesn't get rapidly chipped away like fingernail polish does, unless you scratch the cats with your toes or something, and I like waking up in the morning with part of myself already "done". I also dig those bra- strap headbands, after I found one at Sephora without any butterflies or rhinestones or shit on it. I wanted something that kept the hair out of my eyes without making me look like I was a 30-year-old woman desperately trying to pass for a coed. Fat headbands look too housefrauesque I think I'm finally too old for twin contour barettes, so if one of the younger set represented here wants to inherit my substantial collection, drop me a line. sigh.

As for hair, try Joico's Altima leave-in conditioner so that you don't have to kill a few minutes in the shower every morning, followed by a bit of shea butter for gloss. Mmmm, I love shea butter. The stuff I use is lavender-scented [from Pre de Provence], and comes in a little tin like shoe polish. You liquify a bit in your palms and rake it through your hair while it's still a little damp; pushing it away from your hairline will hold those growing-out bits out of your face.

Not being busty, I don't know what to tell you about tops. I feel so sorry for chesty babes; it seems like you have the choice to either go non-fitted and look heavy, or tight and look as though they're hot to trot. Of course, when I go to Vicky's, everything in my size has a couple inches of padding in it, as if I should not even contemplate leaving the house with an unaugmented B cup.

I do like the Savvy section at Nordstrom, which strikes a good balance between twentysomething trendiness and somber adulthood. I can't shop at joints that pitch to teens and twentyish types [Mariposa, the Brass Plum, Contempo] anymore because I can't stand their stupid hip-hop music. Sad, I know. I am truly over the [Lauryn] hill.

Now that I've properly horrified Ms. Houlihan, I'll just crawl back into my hole with my mirror and the latest issue of _Vogue_ to revel in my shallowness.

-- Anonymous, August 21, 1999

Beth - ive been sifting through all these responses, and although they are well meaning, they are for the most part horribly wrong. If you don't want to look like a soccer mom do not wear tunics and long earth coloured dresses. Embrace your inner vixen and strut your stuff, you did it once and CAN do it again. Toss the REI sandals ( i know it WILL hurt ) and do no rest untill you find yourself one pair of fashionable, versatile, and comfortable shoes for each season... and expand on that ... But you already know this. I suspect you have some very good ideas of your own growing inside your head and you will explode in a fit of fashion soon enough.

-- Anonymous, August 22, 1999

okay so i'm sure that by seeing my email address, you'll quickly realize i am very very small. however - i'm also underweight, have been my whole life. and due to a lot of treatments and surgeries as a kid, i've had to learn how to balance out my top and bottom and hide exactly how skinny i am (everyone is always like oooo you're so lucky and i just give them the eye-of-death; stupid girls). one thing i think you should look into, is that weird slippery fabric that everything seems to be made of. not only does it look good on everyone (which is in itself interesting) but it hangs beautifully and comes in delicious colours like plum and khaki and black.

i hate to admit it... but old navy has a few nice things now. these a-line draw string skirts. a-line skirts are good. very hip, very versatile. also go for bias cut. hangs really well. i'm getting a bit sick of 3/4 sleeves 'cause my elbows get cold and i have HUGE hands and teeny wrists -- but banana republic has some wonderful 3/4 sleeve sweaters. there's this one called the "envelope neck" and it's high, goes in a straight line across the neck and has great coverage (for that whole boob thing), and the colours are subdued. PLUS it will go with everything - jeans, pants, skirts - long or short, slim or flowey. for pants - go flat-front boot-cut. very stylin' and can be casual or dressy. shoes - go for a bit of chunk and a bit of funk. i'm on the hunt for black casual shoes too; i've been living in my vans sneakers for months and it's getting lame.

i'm a bit of a fashion freak even though i can't quite afford it and i always end up buying casual clothes *sigh* i'm getting better though.

oh and yes, hoods are cool but MAN can we move on!!!

-- Anonymous, August 23, 1999

tell all these people with the bigbaggytop advice that they are just dead wrong.

i have no chest but i have enough friends that DO to know that you want FITTED on top, no question. little sweaters. (no ironing.) sleeveless cotton ones for those godawful sacramento summers, and great silk or wool ones comin' up for fall.

this'll work with your miniskirts, so you'll show off everything good. (although it sounds like there is actually not one single thing that's bad.)

and long straight skirts with slits will still work for the leg action and might even work with the rei sandals. with the right sweaters. 5'6" is tall enough for long skirts and they're all over the place as far as hipness goes. looking forward to seeing your new wardrobe with the new camera...

-- Anonymous, August 23, 1999

beth (beth in charge, not the other beth), re the victoria's secret thing from WAY at the beginning of the discussion: that does make me feel better. thanks.

i just think that men shouldn't be allowed in that store. ever.

-- Anonymous, August 24, 1999

I know this is not a current discussion, but a really great one to stumble into - really cheered me up - thanks girls

-- Anonymous, March 08, 2001

hi just really wanted to see my message on this program and ask what is this site actually for?

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

It's a Heath Ledger fan club. We're trying to figure out what outfit would be most likely to get his attention. Welcome aboard!

-- Anonymous, July 22, 2001

I wanted to start my own topic, but I 'spose this one will do. Check this out.

Undoubtedly the finest girl in the USofA. I think they should reengineer Barbie to look like her. Phuq Heath Ledger, let's talk about how to attract Britney.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

I actually think Britney is adorable, but did you see the doll they already made of her? Butt ugly.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

She's a cutie, but I'm having problems with the "I'm wearing my mother's beach cover-up" fashion statement she's wiggling around in. And maybe that blue eyeshadow is a fashion "don't." If we can hold her down, scrub her face until her little cheeks are pink and then dress her up in our love, I can get behind your plan, rudeboy.

That doll, however, is just horrible. Looks like a Britney drag queen.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

Man. I just reread this thread, and damn if I'm not going through the same thing again. This time the problem is bras, though. I desperately need some new ones, but what is UP with bras these days? Either they're filled with water (or some mysterious "liquid") or they feel like bubble wrap. And those hard candy shell ones -- they are all over lingerie stores *and* department stores. Horrible, just horrible.

I just want a bra that isn't ugly and isn't too flimsy to do the job and won't make my boobs any bigger. I'm only a 34C these days; this should not be a difficult proposition. Bah.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

That is not a "micro-mini" it is a shirt. Sheesh. She does look better than she did at the Superbowl and at the recent Pepsi- sponsored Nascar race she did the 'start your engines' at. She has major sport slut going at both. I want to like Britney - I thought she looked amazing at the MTV awards, sexy but not naked - but she's making it hard lately.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

You must be high Slick. The Superbowl appearance was one of her greatest. Feathered hair beats the heck out of a Jennifer Anniston crooked part, cover my face with droopy locks, what the hell does Brad Pitt see in her, combover any day.

I don't usually watch NASCAR but I did watch the beginning just cuz of her. Gentlemen, start your engines. hubba hubba.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

Dude, she had sweat socks on her arms! That is never, ever right.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

fine. You're right. But she took them off . Anywayz, I hear they're all the rage in fashionable Paris these days.

there is no shortage of Britney haters. This site has a few interesting pics of her before the "boob job" but, I'm still not convinced.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

No way. Someone linked to a photo of her -- I think it was on Fametracker.com -- that showed the obvious effects of gravity. Definitely real.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

Slickery, you did say she was "making it hard lately," and really, what more can you ask? :)

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

I thought Rudeboy was going to be the one to point out that lovely sentence...

-- Anonymous, July 23, 2001

Much as I like Rudey (and I do), I'm not gonna let him get all the good lines!

-- Anonymous, July 24, 2001

Well, she's not making anyting hard on me because I'm not equipped that way. I can see the appeal, I think she's just trying too hard. We get it, you aren't on the Mickey Mouse Club anymore.

-- Anonymous, July 24, 2001

You know, you totally kill the mood when you mention that she was on a kid's show. It reminds me of the Olsen twins. I've got so many of their videos that they're not only coming out of my butt, but also the butt of my lil' angel, the dog and the cat.

Those two are pretty cute nowadays. They're definitely not gorgeous but they're becoming womnen (if you know what I mean). However, since I watched them grow up on tv, it is utterly impossible for me to think of them in sexual terms. Remember in Legend of the Fall, when Pitt came back from his seven years in Tibet and ended up gettin' it on with the beautiful, all growed up indian girl that he used to babysit? I don't think I could do that. I could definitely get it on as an adult with any woman who babysat me, but for some reason, it just creeps me out the other way around. How do you not get flashbacks of learning to walk and dirty papmpers?

Then again, we are talking about Britney. I 'spose I could force myself if I had to, but only if she wore socks on her arms.

-- Anonymous, July 24, 2001

And this is what separates you from Woody Allen, rudeboy.

That's a good thing, by the way.

-- Anonymous, July 25, 2001