Did the Blair Witch Project scare you or make you want to hurl? Have any other recent movies made you want your money back?

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Answers

Well, not me exactly, but the friend I went with had to leave after about 15 minutes because she felt sick. And she ended up getting sick in the bathroom minutes later, after passing the spot just outside the door to Blair Witch where a theater employee was cleaning up someone else's vomit. Yuck. The next morning, everyone on the radio was saying it made them nauseous. I went back and saw the movie later that week and it didn't do much for me, but at least I didn't get sick. The worst movie I've seen in a while is Thin Red Line. More than half the people in our theater left and never came back over the course of the movie. I just wish I had been one of them. I thought my husband was enjoying it; he thought I was. So we both sat there miserable. It wouldn't hurt so much if movies weren't so damn expensive. For $7.50 I could have at least two good margaritas and entertain myself better than some of the movies I've paid to see.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I can't imagine much worse than Even Cowgirls Get The Blues... that movie inspired our fifteen minute rule. If after fifteen minutes of watching a movie and it's still dreadful, you must stop at that point. Don't waste any further time indulging your belief that something has got to happen to make this worthwhile.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I'm awfully glad to see that you hate that movie. I haven't gone, partly because I hate scary movies, and partly because of all the hype. Haven't seen anybody else write that they didn't like it; now I feel vindicated.

Scary movies and war movies make me hurl. I don't like seeing people get hurt. I learned my lesson years ago.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Molly, don't get me wrong -- I hate scary movies, too, but that wasn't the problem with BWP. I didn't think it was even remotely scary, and there's only one minor scene of gore. It was just the jerky camera movements that made us all nauseous.

Moira, it was Jeremy who hated BWP more than Cowgirls. I'd probably still put the latter at the top of my bad movie list. I think we did manage to sit through the ending, but there were only six people in the theater (and four of them were us), so we all pretty much chatted and heckled throughout.

What really astounds me is that several people whose taste I respect loved Cowgirls and told me I'd like it. I can't imagine a worse movie. I even liked the book, and the movie was true to it -- but geez, what a terrible movie.

Maybe we shouldn't compare BWP to other films. We should compare it to carnival rides. "Worse than the Gravitron, worse than the Blender, not as bad as those hammer thingies."

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Blair Witch was worse than Omnitheater movies.

I saw it before wide release in an art house theater that I normally love. However the air conditioning couldn't keep up withthe heat wave and the number of bodies in the theater.

I just sat there with my eyes closed for the whole thing.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

it made me want to hurl (i saw it the opening weekend in baltimore at our art house and spent the rest of the week warning friends and coworkers to "take dramamine before you go". i feel like i've failed because i didn't tell beth that) but it still scared the piss out of me, too. then again, we've already determined that i'm a big wimp.

oh, and the only reason "dick" was worth my 5.50 was that it wasn't my 5.50, it was my date's. sole redeeming quality of that movie: i didn't pay for it.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I haven't seen the Blair Witch Project but my little bro did and it made him nauseous. My all time least favorite movies are "Angelheart" or anything with Mickey Rourke. A girl friend and I suffered through "Leaving Las Vegas" thinking it's bound to get better. There is no denying Nicolas Cage's awesome acting ability but the plot was too damn depressing. In the words of my boss, "You mean I paid money to feel like this?"

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

American Anthem (http://us.imdb.com/Title?0090631). I had to go look up the full title at IMDB because I've blocked it out of my memory. Here's a few hints at why it's so horrible: 1986 (think typical lighting, soundtrack of that era). Gymnastics. Mitchell Gaylord, gymnast turned actor. Janet Jones. Will her hero win? Try spreading that out over two hours.

I only stayed because my girlfriend paid for the movie.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

And all my reasons for not seeing TBWP are up in my entry for Wednesday: http://lastgirlscout.fsn.net/990811.htm

Sorry, felt compelled to pimp. I will cease and desist now.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Well, the only time I actually got my money back was during Trainspotting. My friend (whose wife just had a baby) got ill during the dead baby scene, ran to the bathroom, and passed out, hitting his head on the floor. The ushers called an ambulance.

When he came around, the ushers asked him who he was at the movie with. They came into the theater and yelled out my name, and I followed them into the Mens room.

My friend seemed to be ok, if a little woozy, and I told the ushers that I'd drive him home. As we were leaving, the usher gave us two passes.

A doctor later in the week couldn't find anything wrong with him. Just his strong paternal instinct, I guess...

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

i was thoroughly disappointed in the movie. i absolutely could not wait to see it, even managed to get a press pass for the preview, and it was the most anti-climatic experience ever. i wasn't the least bit scared, those bastards. then i ended up seeing it again with my boyfriend who ended up hating it more than me. so, whatever. in sum: blair witch experience = suck.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

You know, I really wanted to be scared. Maybe when it comes out on video I'll rent it, just to see if it's less nauseating in my house than in a theater filled with rocking chairs. (Eric thought the chairs made it worse.) I'd also still like to see the "documentary," which I heard was pretty scary in its own right.

I'm bummed that Dick sucked so badly -- I wanted to see that.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Vampire's Kiss has to be the worst movie I've ever seen. This "comedy" about a guy who loses his mind (Nicholas Cage) and thinks he's a vampire didn't have one laugh in it. I mean, he verbally abused and eventually raped his secretary, for crying out loud. People find this funny?

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

TBWP was such a disappointment, I haven't even mentioned that I've seen it. It didn't scare me, it didn't make me nauseated (which is a feat for a pregnant woman!) and didn't entertain one bit. Heather was so annoying, I wanted to disembowel her myself. What a rotten waste of money and time.

For the two hours I ultimately sat for that, I could've gone ahead and seen Phantom Menace, which I have yet to do.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

BWP didn't make me physically sick, and I thought it was kind of clever. Certainly in no way the best indie movie to come out recently, but B for effort. I'm a pilot so I guess I have enough stomach for this movie I didn't get sick, but others with me did.

I walked out of the last 30 minutes of "The Thin Red Line" because I'm not into to drug trips.

I got a refund after 20 minutes of "Sgt Bilko" because it didn't appear to be a movie at all, just sort of random improv.

I walked out of the final sequence in 2001 way back in 1969 because it was boring. Otherwise great, but that last bit was boring.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Oh, I hate movies that are fine until the end. By the end of My Own Private Idaho (which was otherwise okay), I was screaming, "End! End, damn you, end!"

I walked out of Mrs. Doubtfire because I couldn't take another second of Robin Williams. I walked out of Platoon because it was just too much for me, not because it was bad. I wanted to walk out of Godzilla but I was with other people. I would have walked out of Dead Poets' Society, but instead I just went to sleep.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I haven't seen it yet, but my wife (who sees every movie on Earth--- she's about movies the way I am about books) saw it and hated, detested, and almost went to the theatre manager to demand her money back, except that it would have embarassed Brian. Brian, who saw it with her, LIKED it. Now, Barb LOVES scary movies, but she's not big on ones that are just atmosphere. She yawned at the original HAUNTING, for instance, one of my all-time faves. She pays for a ghost, witch, whatever, she wants to SEE something. However, we BOTH went to see SIXTH SENSE last Friday, and recommend it in the strongest possible terms. Atmospheric, spooky, terrific acting (yeah, even by Willis) and a surprise ending that really IS a surprise, and will make you replay the movie in your mind for the rest of the evening. The kid is wonderful...they should have gotten HIM to play Amadin Skywalker. I suspect I'd like BWP if I saw it, simply because I usually agree with Brian on movies...but maybe not. The original HAUNTING bored him too.--Al

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

i liked BWP, but i can see why some people were really disappointed with it. what does completely surprise me are all these complaints of nausea due to the camera work. i am one of the MOST prone-to-car-sickness people i've ever met. two or three minutes spent looking at a map in a moving car can make me dizzy and queasy for the rest of the evening. when i saw BWP, we were in a full, warm theater, practically in the front row, and it didn't bother me at *all*. i don't get it.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I find it hard to walk out of movies, for the same reason that I always eat everything on my plate, and abhor leftovers. Still, I remember walking out of films like "Class of '84" (way too stupid, even for trash) and some Liliana Caviani(?) art film about a bourgeois couple in pre-war Europe and the wife's lesbian affair (basically a bad melodrama -- Europeans aren't the acme of taste and restraint, contrary to popular mythology).

The WORST film I ever say through, and almost left, was a Diane Kurys film called "A Man in Love" with Peter Coyote and Greta Scacchi. Probably the most insufferable film ever, an annoying mix of pretention and bad writing and worse acting. I seethed through the whole thing, then exploded in a restaurant afterwards when it was obvious that the film-school guys I was with were about to have a serious discussion about the thing. I walked out and left. Petulant behaviour, perhaps, but I just couldn't bear another minute with the thing on my mind.

I also wanted to walk out of a film called "Joan of Arc of Mongolia", which my ex-girlfriend made me sit through at Anthology Film Archive in New York. Some kind of radical feminist fantasy agit-prop thing. Even the ex had to admit it wasn't very good, and she was very "with the program". I'm sorry but I think it destroyed my patience with art films forever.

Did I tell you that I really like "Night at the Roxbury"?

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

The Thin Red Line was terrible. I closed my eyes and tried desperately to fall asleep during that one. For about 2 minutes, when John Travolta was on screen, I was happy. After that, I just went back to sleep.

Oh, and thank you all for warning me about the motion sickness factor in TBWP. I wanted to see it, but knowing that, it will definitely make me very sick. I'll just avoid it altogether.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Beth, I just saw on the front of today's Sacrameto Bee Scene section that thirty people have vomitted during TBWP at the Sac Tower theater since the movie opened two weeks ago! Apparently theaters across the country are putting up warning signs about the wiggle-cam.

The Sacramento Tower Theater employee interviewed said, "yeah we thought about putting up warning signs, but people would probably just ignore them".

Maybe....

I called my brother this morning and mercifully saved him from two hours of vomit-vision. Which was good since he and his friends were going to see it.

All I can say is, if you're going to see it anyway, bring a bucket.

That movie is unwatchable, not scary, and dumb dumb dumb.

I want my money back.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Eric, I think that Tower Theater might be a particularly bad place to see it. We might even have been better off further back in the theater. The extreme incline there puts you at a weird angle from the screen.

I've noticed that people who actually saw the documentary on the Sci Fi channel seem to have enjoyed the movie more. I also realized this morning that Jeremy missed all the legend about who the Blair Witch supposedly was, because the didn't get into much of that in the movie. I had read a lot of stuff on the website that gives some background, so I think I enjoyed it more.

Do you have the Sci Fi channel, Eric? If they're replaying that documentary, any chance you could tape it? We decided this morning that we'd like to see that, and then maybe try the movie again once it comes out on video. We really wanted to like it.

I thought about the things I did like about it: I thought the acting was really good. If the actors really didn't have a script, then they did a great job with their dialog, which was totally believable. The characters were good; I thought they cracked in completely believable ways. I didn't find it all that scary and on balance I still hated it, but it would not have been completely unredeemable if it hadn't been, you know, unwatchable.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

A note on TBWP-the original cut was 2 and 1/2 hours long. The movie in it's current release, is only 85 minutes....

Something to think about.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

What was that movie - it was based on an Heinlein book...something to do with space cadets fighting horrible buggy creatures? Oh, yeah, Starship Troopers. TERRIBLE! There's a great line after two of the characters have sex in the midst of war (?!) and she says to him something along the lines of, "It's ok, I'm not afraid to die now because I've finally had you, Johnny!". Retch! We had more fun making fun of that movie while walking home than we did during the entire film. The only redeeming quality was that coed shower scene... it was great to see people of both genders interacting totally casually in the nude.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Too funny...I haven't seen Blair and after all I've heard I don't want to. My 20 year old son's reaction: "mom, I'd rather have a telephone poll with nails sticking out of it rammed up my ass than have to see that movie again!" Now mind you I found his reaction a bit extreme...but hey thought you'd get a kick out of it!!

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I saw TBWP, and I kind of liked it, but it was hard to watch. I had to shut my eyes a bunch of times because of the camera. That may be due to the fact that we saw it in a stadium style seating theater and the only available seats were far too close to the screen than I can handle.

I mostly liked it because I liked the premise of it. Finally a horror film that isn't one of those stupid Freddy or Jason take offs.

But I didn't find it to be "the scariest movie I've ever seen". I was a bit tense and scared while watching it but that may be more due to the fact I saw the midnight showing of it with a packed theater. I was most definitely not scared when we left and I slept like a baby when I got home.

Now for a movie that I couldn't wait for to end -- Face/Off. I kept yelling at the television for it to end.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Warning: spoilers ahead. I don't know how anyone can talk about a movie without, you know, talking about the movie.

No one wanted to love The Blair Witch Project more than I.

I first heard of it last fall when I saw the teaser poster at the local multiplex -- the one with the photo-negative view of a stand of trees. The poster scared me; I have a deeply-ingrained fear of the woods at night that dates back to when I was in the fourth grade and saw the faux-documentary Sasquatch, when no one told me about the "faux" part.

Months later, the website scared me. That terrifying mouseover noise! The haunting backstory! I shuddered every time I thought of that mouldering hand emerging from Tappy Creek. I was so enthusiastically freaked out by the whole thing that my boy commenced begging me not to go as the release date drew near, no doubt because he anticipated many future nights of being kicked or shaken awake.

I was at the theater opening day [opening day of the limited release, that is, at the only theater within 200 miles that had booked it], in line an hour beforehand with countless goths and Clive Barker fans. We trailed around the block, chattering excitedly. I even skipped out on popcorn, figuring I'd be too scared to eat.

Alas, the website was scarier than the movie.

Two cardinal rules of suspense flicks were broken:

a) The viewer must be permitted, in the end, to confront the horror.

Even the most heavily atmospheric horror movies, those that rely almost entirely on tension and the viewer's imagination (and here I'm thinking Psycho, which derives most of the viewer's discomfort from the simple fact that there is always someone onscreen who simply cannot relax, so that when Janet Leigh gets stabbed to death while shampooing it's almost a relief) eventually show the audience what's been giving them the heebie-jeebies. You have to witness Norman in a wig and lace collar for yourself. In TBWP, we feel we are drawing closer and closer to the witch, and eventually come across what appears to be her sanctum, and then the movie just... ends.

I think this is one of the reasons so many are saying that this movie is particularly horrifying -- they are denied a genuine discovery of the witch, and thus leave the theater still totally jangled because they are denied this bit of catharsis. That works for some people, I guess, but me and everyone else at the screening I went to (again, this is the noon screening on opening day, packed with whipped-into-a- frenzy enthusiasts) the end of the movie is a terrible letdown, and over the credits there were countless disappointed mutterings of "Is it over? Is that it?"

I mean, what evidence do we have that anything supernatural transpired at all? What is to make us believe that, in the end, the kids weren't being pursued by hicks trying to put the fear o' god into them? (I guess hicks are kind of scary, too.)

b) The viewer must actually give a rat's ass whether the characters die or not.

Heather: type A control freak. Off with her head! Josh: scarcely- literate pothead. Seventeen stab wounds ought to make him more interesting! Mike: weird, hostile guy who I'd change seats on the bus to get away from. Hang him high! I was insulted by the fact that I was meant to identify with these boneheads.

Other points: the crummy camerawork wasn't a sticking point with me, as I never get motion-sickness, but I was frustrated by the fact that when Heather opened her little package o' Josh bits, I had no idea what we were looking at because the camera was swinging left and right and up and down and the picture was out of focus. Again, much murmuring from the seats around me: "Is it an ear? I think it's a nose." Also, did anyone else notice that prior to this scene, when she and Mike are lying around semi-comatose with fear, Heather's hair is down and loose, but later, minutes after she opens her Bloody Valentine, her hair is up in a French braid? Who the hell French- braids her hair when she's starving to death in some godforsaken woods and her friend is missing except for his ear and/or nose?

Maddeningly, one of the preview scenes I downloaded from the website had been cut from the film, something that only augmented my sense of incompleteness. (It features Heather in profile, lit only by the round beam of a flashlight, saying "Every night we wait for them to come," and implying that she deliberately withheld information from the others in order to convince them to participate in her film.)

Lest anyone think I'm Witch-bashing to prove that I'm cooler than the average American: I loved Titanic. Loved it to death, dude.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I've been checking out the website today, reading stuff I didn't read before so I wouldn't spoil the movie. I do like the idea and the mythology. Now I'm thinking that the movie really would have been better if they had incorporated more of the story into the actual film. For instance, could they have used the Sci Fi channel documentary as a frame for the "actual footage" part?

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Haven't seen Blair Witch yet. I'm still too scared of the freakin' trailers and it's not really playing in any good theatres around here. been trying to go every weekend since it opened but well -- we've been BUSY.

As for movies I hated -- I agree with Heather about "Vampire's Kiss" Ugh. Just AWFUL. Watched that on video one weekend hoping for some light entertainment and nearly hurled instead it was so awful.

This movie called "Brain Dead" -- not the Peter Jackson film, but this weird flick starring Bill Pullman, about a guy having brain surgery and what his mind is seeing while he's lying in the op room. It's supposed to be a fascinating twisted reality movie -- but instead it's just ... bad.

Oddly enough "Gone With the Wind" comes close to topping my worst films of all time. I can't stand it. Must have something to do with Clark Gable being an ugly old frog and utterly unbelievable as a dashing galant and the character of Scarlett O'Hara being an utterly unsympathetic spoiled brat. The only redeeming performance worth mentioning in that film is Olivia deHavilland as Melanie. The only redeeming shot, that of Atlanta burning, I'll grant that that one is rather majestic. The reverence in which this movie is held completely escapes me.

I have never walked out of a movie. I don't know why, but once I've paid to see a film, I always watch it through to the end. I've turned off the VCR, but not walked out. Even when a movie is scaring me to bits and making me feel ill -- like "Seven."

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

geez, folks, lighten up!

i guess bwp is a victim of its own success, and the hype machine....i thought it was a terrific little independent production, especially when you consider it's by two new filmmakers for $40k and a cast/crew of like, what, 8? but i guess in packaging it for the mainstream, folks start to expect big budget production values...

i really think kim's right about a key effect being simply "whether anything supernatural ever really occurred or not"....it's the ambiguity that's most horrifying...

s. p.s. oh, and hey, the shakycam is _intentional_. it's supposed to appear rough and unfinished... get over it already. once i got used to it, it really added to the effect....i kept trying to see past the cam, get it to look _over there_...

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Scared me senseless. Saw the websites, hunted down every piece of information I could find and finally got to see a preview screening of it way back in June, at midnight on a Sunday with fifty or so theater employees and film buffs.

Terrified. Horrified. Nearly messed my pants. Everyone who saw it that night (pre-hype by a few weeks, I might add) seemed thoroughly disturbed.

I saw it again a couple of weeks ago in a crowded theater on opening weekend with several friends. Some were so upset they had a hard time walking out; some were bitterly disappointed. My friend James, a former infantryman, thought the characters were dirt-stupid for getting so lost.

It's definitely getting a broad range of responses, isn't it? The movie is certainly not for everybody.

But I loved it. I figure the furor will die down nicely in time for "Dogma" this fall and TBWP will settle down to a long life of cult-favorite vitality.

---

And in a totally unrelated comment: good lord. Kim Rollins. Haven't seen any fresh material from her in months.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

wasn't reality bites the most disgusting movie ever created? had to walk straight out of that one - even left my date there. the part where that girl...what's her name? oh yeah, ethan hawke. the scene where it showed her playing guitar in the club and singing violent femmes covers was what did it. wack city.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Geez, Mali .. you sound like my dad telling me my car sickness was all in my head. (Maybe, Dad, but it's going to be in your LAP in about ten seconds.) If something makes you physically ill, then I don't see how that can be blamed on the "hype" machine .. especially since I, like Kim, have liked plenty of movies in spite of their surrounding hype. And I WANTED to like this movie. I'm still trying to like it; I've spent the whole damn day on the web site, which is 900 times scarier than the film itself.

I keep hearing that the shaky camera work was intentional, but then I also hear that they taught the actress (Heather) to use the camcorder in a couple of hours. I'm not sure how intentional it could have been. I think she was just not very good at holding the camera steady. If the intent was to make thirty people vomit from motion sickness at the Tower Theater in Sac, then it succeeded.

I love the idea of this movie. I love what they did and the legend they created. But the motion was simply unbearable -- maybe it depends on the theater, the angle, or whatever, but I easily watch my dad's home videos, and I couldn't watch this. It was not a matter of being made uncomfortable in a psychological sense -- it was a matter of trying not to throw up on the people in front of me.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Damn it, I thought that was the same article that they ran in the print version of the Bee today, but it's a different one. Oh, well, still gets the point across.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I watched/taped the SciFi channel thingy on TBWP. I liked it. Haven't gone to see the movie yet, but I plan to take Bonine and a bag of crystalized ginger to chew on. (I heard that the movie was orginally going to be a combination of the 'documentary' footage, and all of the interviews &ct that were in the SciFi thing, but they decided not to do it that way, which would explain why it got shortened so much).

As for movies I hated, my top (bottom?) choice would have to be U-turn. I only stayed because I had no way home without the people I was with. Independence Day is just a notch below. Highlander III was painful, but I liked Pulp Fiction enough to feel that it was worth it. (Dangers of double features). I really envied my friends who couldn't hear the movie (drive-in), and made up their own story. theirs had a plot.

And I _like_ stupid movies. I got a lot of enjoyment out of Wild Wild West, and Deep Blue Sea, I went through a period of liking Nightmare on Elm Street movies, and Airplane! still cracks me up. But some of them manage to suck any possibility of enjoyment out.

Hey Beth, how does Highlander II rank with Jeremy? I think he turned that one off partway through, and it was near the top of the 'worst movies of all time' list for a while...

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

REcent bad movies - I thought The Phantom Menace and The Haunting both sucked.

I hated The Spy Who Shagged Me (but loved the first Austin Powers movie).

Hated Starship Troopers. StarGate was really really bad.

I'd rather talk about GOOD movies though - I saw Run Lola Run twice in July and loved it both time. Go see it. Now.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

In regards to Dick:

I went to see it because both Dave Foley and Bruce McCulloch were in it. Little teeny tiny KITH reunion... Anyway, it wasn't really that bad. They could have done much more with it if they hadn't focused on the girls quite so much, but still, if you look past the teenybopperish stuff, it's still got some funny stuff. Bruce and Will Ferrell from SNL as Woodward and Bernstein were great and probably had the best parts in the film besides Dan Hedaya as Nixon.

Still, some of the teenybopper stuff is amusing too (not laugh-out-loud funny, but...). The whole Bobby Sherman thing (maybe I just find it funny because I can't imagine anyone being in love with him) and the other "love interest" are silly.

I would wait to rent it when it comes out on video if you're skeptical... It's fluff, but it's fluff that really had the potential of being very funny.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

TBWP was pretty lame, but not walk-out worthy (because you just sat there thinking ... c'mon, it's gonna get scary here pretty soon... and then it was over. No time to walk out.)

The only movie I have ever walked out on was the Abyss.

I realize how this statement is going to make me banished from the cool world forever...

I had someone break up with me because I admitted that I walked out of the Abyss. His logic was, "if you can't appreciate one of the best movies all time, if you trivialize something as powerful and wonderful as the Abyss, I don't think I can be with you."

Really? I watched on TV several years later. It seemed a bit better, but still not break-up worthy.

Wow, sounds like a Seinfeld episode.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Movies I have hated..!

In The Company of Men - awful, just awful.. I only managed to watch about 20 minutes of it before yanking it out of the video player, and hurling it across the room in disgust..

Shakespeare in Love - I liked it when I saw it, you know - it was a fun, fluffy, light hearted movie. But then it went and won about six million Oscars (conservative estimate) and now I scowl whenever I think about it. Best Actress, Best Picture - pah..!! I am boycotting this movie for evermore..!

What Dreams May Come - Ugh..!! I fell asleep halfway through, and I think this was a defense mechanism..

Really bad slapstick from the Leslie Neilsen and Eddie Murphy School of Funny. That sort of stuff makes me either cringe or throw things..

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

The worst movie I ever saw? The Stupids staring Tom Arnold. The reasons why I ended up in a theatre seeing the Stupids is far too complicated to even BEGIN to explain. Nothing is worse than this film. Nothing.

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

Dead Ringers was pretty bad.

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

The worst movie I ever saw?

Probably LISZTOMANIA.

With Roger Daltry of the Who, in a rock opera about Franz Liszt, or however you spell it. It featured, at one point, women dancing atop what looked like giant phalli/columns. By the same director who did TOMMY.

I was on a first date with a woman in college. She wanted to go see it. We hadn't read the reviews.

We were--literally--the only ones in the theatre.

Need I mention that the relationship stopped dead in its tracks, and that became the first and only date?--Al

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

Ashley, I asked Jeremy about Highlander II ... he said it had been knocked off the bad movie scale by Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, but that it still had a very high ranking in the "Sequels that Should Never Have Been Made" category. I think that just means he never saw "My Girl II."

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

Oh, yeah, Ashley -- can we borrow that Blair Witch tape sometime? We do want to see that.

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

Sure, the tape is a little bit packed right now, but I know where it is (I hope).

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

for the record, my boyfriend (who paid), a political science major, thought dick was great. but he got the political stuff that went right over my head. so if you're conscious of that kind of stuff, lived through watergate, or happen to be a polisci geek, dick might not be as bad as i thought it was.

just so i don't completely discourage beth from going. (but pay matinee prices, at least.)

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

The difficult thing about this question for me is that if I actually WATCH a movie, I can generally find SOMETHING to like about it.

There are movies that I will *refuse* to see, just because I am SCARED that I will like them (IE: Meet the Deedles, The Stupids, any former stand-up comedian first movie) but if the previews suck me in enough to see it, I can usually find SOMETHING worth while.

And OF COURSE, there are obvious exceptions to this rule. (=

While Leaving Las Vegas was an excellent film - I didn't like it. That and 8MM are the two Nick Cage movies that I have been the most disappointed in. Good acting, good cinemetography, etc, but as someone else said: Did I really pay to end up FEELING LIKE THIS? (Incidentally, some guy took me to LLV on our FIRST DATE. How freakin' tacky is that?! I didn't see him again, btw. =)

Another let down was Flesh and Bone with Meg Ryan, Dennis Quaid and James Caan. I stayed up late one night because I noticed it was coming on cable. It ended somewhere around 4:00 or 4:30 in the morning and I was *pissed* that it was SO bad. It sucked SO hardcore that I was SO mad that I stayed up so late watching it. The thing that gets me, always, is the fact that I will very very very rarely ever walk out of or turn off a movie. I think the only movie I *have* ever walked out of (driven out of -drive-in double feature) was Anaconda. I couldn't tell you if it was good or not. The part that I saw was not.

And finally - this is a VERY VERY difficult one to admit.

The *biggest* cinema disappointment I have EVER suffered was: *drumroll*

Arlington Road.

*Bigweepysigh*

I waited for this movie to come out for SOOOO long, and I wanted to like it SOOO bad, but it *was* sooo bad. I don't like Jeff Daniels. I've decided that now. I think he's a poopy actor, and I *love* Tim Robbins, but this movie was SUCH a dissapointment. It moved SO slow and was just one disappointment after the other. After a year of waiting, I was SO disappointed. *Sigh*

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

The only movie I ever walked out of -- Night of the Living Dead. Didn't even make it through the credits. Fortunately, I saw it at the dollar theater when I was in college, so I didn't feel too bad about walking out.

Walking out is actually not accurate -- running would be closer. Good grief.

Hated Star Ship Troopers. Wanted to like it. Didn't. Hated What Dreams May Come. Loved the book.

I haven't seen TBWP. A friend did, and she hasn't been right in the head since.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999

Nothing is worse than Buffalo 66. Come on. You know in your heart of hearts that sitting through a shaky film can make you nauseous, but nothing makes you want to hurl from the very depths of your soul more than Vincent Gallo repeating one line SEVENTEEN HUNDRED TIMES! "Get in the car. Get in the car. Get in. The car. The car. The car. Get in the car. Get in the car. Would you get in the car? Get in the car."

I pulled out my eyebrows.

Really, I think you didn't like the film because of the theatre. If that many people are getting sick in that one movie house, then something is wrong with the way that theatre is set up. I never got sick watching it, and I can't even watch Eric play Playstation games without getting woozy.

Yeah, I liked it more because I read the backstory and I saw it early before there was hype. The best advice was when I was going in one of my friends was going out. He said, "Look. Just forget everything you've heard from everyone else and go in there and have a good time."

and we did.

It was fun. It's a fun movie. It's scarier if you educate yourself, so you know what they know and you don't know what they don't know. I've found myself explaining parts of the film to a lot of people who didn't see the documentary or read the website.

and you've got to be able to freak yourself out when you're home alone and you just know-- you just know there's someone in the closet waiting to kill you. If you're able to convince yourself of these things, then you'll like Blair Witch. If you're waiting to see a giant monster-- I guess go see Wild Wild West.

I liked it, though.

Oh, and "Vampire's Kiss" is fucking funny. "There you are!" and when he puts the fake teeth in his mouth and it makes him feel like a real vampire? So funny. I love that movie.

But Buffalo 66? Nothing worse ever made. Wretched.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999

I'm usually pretty good about scaring the shit out of myself with closet monsters, so I don't know why it didn't scare me more. Jeremy and I definitely plan to see it on video.

And I guess I should confess that last night I had a full-blown Blair Witch freak out. Jeremy wasn't here, it was dark, and Doc was outside in the back yard. I opened the door to call him to see if he wanted to come in. I couldn't see him (which isn't unusual; he hangs out in the back of the flower bed a lot), so I called him. I heard the very faint jingle of his dog tags, and a rustle in the trees, but he didn't come up the stairs.

I had to go back inside and finish watching the X-Files, because I was about to start screaming, "Tell me where you are, Doc! Is that really you? Doc! DOC!"

And no WAY was I going down to check on him. No way.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999

Heh. I haven't seen TBWP yet, probably wait until it hits the dollar theaters or video. My tastes in film are kinda arcane: my favorite films include most of John Waters' films, _ZARDOZ_, Ray Dennis Steckler's _Rat Pfink A Boo Boo_ and a wide variety of drive-in and direct-to-video cheapies. But the worst piece of poo I saw in the past few years was _The Fifth Element_, which I figured I would love. Cheezy sci-fi, senseless mayhem, Bruce Willis quips, Gary Oldman chewing up the scenery, and directed by the same guy who did _The Professional_ which I loved. Couldn't STAND it. The whole thing just creeped me out. I had free passes and went with pris, we both agreed it was horrid. We did stay through the whole thing, though. I think it was the film that spoiled me for big Hollywood SFX-spectaculars: since then, I've missed just about every effects-heavy film that has hit the theaters, except _Starship Troopers_ and _The Phantom Menace_ which were almost as bad and merely confirmed my desire to stay out of movie theaters and stick to stuff like Russ Meyer titty films and art films like H.G. Lewis's THE WIZARD OF GORE. I walked out of "The Accidental Tourist" because it was incredibly boring, and played videogames while waiting for my date to finish watching it. Phooey.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999

I haven't seen TBWP yet and I still want to, despite beth's experience. I'm not very susceptible to nausea from visual things. We'll see, I guess.

The worst movie I can think of, that I actually did walk out of, was O Lucky Man. It was supposed to be like biting social commentary but I thought it was just senseless.

I walked out of The Red Shoes once in college, but I think I'd like it now.

We hardly ever go to the movies and we certainly never go to big extravganza movies like Starship Troopers or The Phantom Menance. All I can say is, we're rarely dissapointed.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999

I agree 100% with Pamie. Buffalo '66 was horrid.

Everyone I know who saw it rambled on and on about how amazing it was and how much they liked it. I missed it in the theaters, so I was thrilled when it finally came out on video.

I was bedridden with the flu when I first watched it. I thought that might have had something to do with it. Then I watched it again. Gah. Complete and utter tripe.

Another shitty movie that came highly recommended by a whole mess o' folks was Fall. It's this love story about a cab driver and a married supermodel. Amanda deCadenet plays the supermodel, she has the lower jaw of an orangutan. Every time she came on screen, I immediately focused on her jaw. Which, I suppose, is better than focusing on her piss-poor acting.

The best part of that movie was when the supermodel fucked the cabdriver guy up the ass with a dildo. It made me giggle. Probably not the reaction that it was supposed to provoke, but I don't think I had a single "appropriate" reaction to that stupid movie.

When I talked to the person who enthusiastically recommended it (it's his very favorite movie, as a matter of fact) I told him that the buttfucking scene was my favorite...he told me that I didn't get the point of that scene and that it had something to do with his letting go and completely trusting Supermodel-woman.

What-ev-urr.

Disturbing Behavior was horrid. I watched that yesterday for a class project on teen movies. It was a stupid concept, and it didn't make sense.

TBWP made me feel like vomiting. When I left the theater, I was behind the slowest women on the face of the earth. Of course, there were for of them, and they were walking side-by-side, so I couldn't get around them. And I felt that if I opened my mouth to say "excuse me" I was going to explode.

I felt better once I sat down.

TBWP didn't scare me a bit, but it did scare several of my friends. I didn't think it was a bad movie, but it didn't live up to my (admittedly high) expectations.

-- Anonymous, August 16, 1999

Like "Buffalo 66". Really liked "In the Company of Men". LOVED "O Lucky Man".

I guess you really just CAN'T account for taste.

Finally saw TBWP. Interesting. (That, by the way, is called damning with faint praise.) Not particularly scary, really.

And by the way, Al -- LISZTOMANIA!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! Yeah, probably one of the worst movies ever made, but I make exceptions for Ken Russell. "The Music Lovers" (his Tchaikovsky film with Richard Chamberlain) is pretty hilariously bad, too. But then, Ken Russell's films always teeter on the brink between godawful and brilliant, for me. ("Brilliant" being The Devils. Godawful being Gothic.) I just find him "interesting". (And that's NOT damning with faint praise.)

-- Anonymous, August 18, 1999

OK, so BWP isn't all it's cracked up to be? I wouldn't know, it hasn't been released out here yet. But isn't this the case with movies everyone initially raves about? I still remember going to see 'Seven', because all my friends told me it was "at least as confronting as 'Silence of the Lambs'". Yeah, right! Never in my life have I seen such an overrated, pretentious piece of drivel! I could sense every plot twist coming about fifteen minutes in advance, and when Gwyneth Paltrow started doing her mousy wifey thing I not only knew she wouldn't make it to the end of the movie, I was actually hoping she'd be decapitated! Anyway, ever since watching 'Seven', I've religiously avoided anything starring Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow, Kevin Spacey or Morgan Freeman. Quite a moneysaver, I can tell you.

-- Anonymous, August 24, 1999

There's only one thing you need to know about Buffalo 66, and I learned about it in the selfsame review which somehow, despite this wretched fact, lauded the flick. That one thing: a dog dies.

The only movie in which canine mortality was ever tolerable (and in fact hysterically funny) was "A Fish Called Wanda."

-- Anonymous, September 01, 1999

The two stinkiest movies of all time have to be Hudson Hawk and Shallow Grave. Sure Shallow Grave had some cool shots in the attic, but the whole hammer thing ... And I have never met a Hudson Hawk fan.

Don't let this message encourage you to see either - not even to find out for yourself. Just be happy you haven't wasted your time.

--

Daniel

-- Anonymous, September 01, 1999

okay, so i'm digging roger ebert's commentary on bwp... from his webpage at http://www.suntimes.com/output/answ-man/ebert12.html

Q. It really bugs me when people complain about the shaky camera in "Blair Witch." "I hated it!" they say. "The camera movement made me sick!" ......(b.m., monterey, CA)

Rogert Ebert: A. "The Blair Witch Project" hasn't received the respect it deserves because many viewers confuse its style with its construction. Yes, it was shot with cheap hand-held cameras. But the structure of the film is subtle and effective, and that's why it works. Stand back from the visuals and notice how suspense is built in a counterpoint of humor, realism and character, and you're looking at a well-made film. It didn't just happen by giving the actors cameras and having them run around in the woods.

[and no, of course, i still wouldn't want to sit next to beth when she sees it...]

-- Anonymous, September 15, 1999