Stand or Lean? : LUSENET : Thoughts : One Thread

One night, during our backpacking class, Joy informed me that Dave and Nate have duct tape on their toilet seat because one of them broke the thing while wiping his bum. She told me, and pretty much anyone else within 5 feet of our conversation, the details of how these guys wipe their poo-shooters as they're leaning far to one side and clutching the toilet seat, and how this is so strange to her because SHE stands up to "swab the decks". Personally, I can't imagine standing while cleaning up, unless you happen to be in a port-a-potty in which case I'd have to go with the "six inch hover" (being a hybrid of the stand/lean approaches) but we won't get into that here. Anyway, the question at hand now is, Do yuo stand up or sit down and lean to either side while wiping your bum......if you wipe at all?

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999


I remember that night. Those guys behind us were like, "I can't believe what they're talking about. I just can't believe it."

I swear, my life is like one long Seinfeld episode.

My contribution to this topic is that I think it's a sex thing. I think girls are "standers", while guys are "leaners". I do know that guys have a substantial amount of butt hair (some more than others), and I wonder how they manage to adequately "swab the decks" (as Mike put it) with all the hairy obstruction. I mean, wouldn't the poo get all smeared in the hair? Ick. Makes me want to take a shower.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Re: "The Six-Inch Hover"

I can't do this amazingly acrobatic feat, especially when confronted with high toilets (and yes, there are tall toilets). Yet another reason why it sucks to be short.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Re: six inch hover In order to successfully perform this move, one must have good balance and strong quads and hamstrings-or you can cheat by using a leverage point (i.e. a door handle or towel bar). Re: substantial amounts of butt hair What?! Are all the male buttocks that you've "experienced" like, totally covered in hair or do you mean just certain areas of the bum? Re: the previous two Re Hope Mr. Lugod stops by THIS link. He'd be so proud.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

"Experienced"? Like I look at men's spread buttocks for fun? My mom told me that men have hairy butts. (Yes, she's weird like that.)

Re: Your last comment about my dad. That totally sucks that he knows about this website. I'm going to move to another address. He'll never find me there! Mwa-ha-ha.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

I'm afraid to tell the porn story on my website, because of all of the family members that know where it is. Roberta is the only person in my family that's heard it. And, for the record, I lean. And I haven't had a seat break on me yet. But then again, I weigh about as much as a sack of flour.

-- Anonymous, August 13, 1999

Umm...the "porn story", Andrew?

-- Anonymous, August 14, 1999

I stand.

Yes, even the least hairy of male buttcracks is still more hairy than any female buttcrack I've ever seen. It's not your fault, dudes, it's just the testosterone.

-- Anonymous, August 15, 1999

I wonder if really vain men, like those Mr. Manly Muscle-types, shave their buttcrack hair. Some of them wear thongs in muscle competitions, and I figure they shave their chest/leg/armpit hair, why not shave down below?

Dr. Evil likes a "shorn scrotum".

-- Anonymous, August 15, 1999

Do you ever notice how your pee smells or looks weird after you've ingested something? For instance, urine gives off a really rank odor after one consumes asparagus. Also, if you take a daily vitamin, your pee turns ecto-green.

-- Anonymous, August 18, 1999

I've always assumed men stand and women sit. I've never leaned to do that. Nor in my many bowel movement conversations have I ever heard of anyone that does.

Anyone know how a blind man knows when he's done shitting?

-- Anonymous, September 25, 1999

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