Sadly, it would appear that there is not enough satire to support this forum. Be you Polly or Doomer, a laugh is always a good thing. To find humor in the darkest of times is to get through it with your smile intact. Sadly, I must report on the passing on of an old friend to us all:

PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY DEAD AT 71 Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife, they have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 2:25 for 20 minutes.

-- For (your@info.com), August 11, 1999