John #3's Story : LUSENET : Domestic Violence Accounts : One Thread

John 3's Story

I, too, have a story as the survivor of domestic abuse. I was married to "Darlene" (not her real name) for 18 years. I was stabbed in the hand, the wrist, and the shoulder. I suffered a broken leg, a broken ankle, and broken wrist. I was slapped, punched, poked and kicked repeatedly. I left when Darlene attempted to smother [me] with a pillow while I slept.

I went to work with bite marks on my arms and neck. I worked with black eyes, bloody lips, and bruised arms and legs.

Twice I attempted to report the abuse to emergency rooms. Once the doctor, a woman, just laughed and said I probably deserved it. The second time the doctor called police who asked me what I did to her (nothing). Once I called a domestic violence shelter; but they had no assistance for a man. I called the police so many times I couldn't keep count. They simply suggested I "get some help" for my bad temper. Only once was Darlene arrested; and the judge let her go with a warning not to do it again, but she did.

Many people knew of the abuse I suffered. Most blamed me; as if I deserved what she did to me. None of those who knew did anything to help me get away; and none did anything to stop the abuse. When I finally did leave; no one would take me in. I finally found an apartment 30 miles away.

Darlene hired some goon to follow me. She called and left threatening messages on my answering machine. She taped threats on my door. She even threw things at my apartment window while I slept. I tried to get a protection order; but the judge ruled I had not proven her a danger to my health or well-being.

I escaped. How many haven't? That is what scares me; that many men never escape.

-- Anonymous, August 08, 1999


I know what you are going through. My wife has beat me with anything that she could grab and once attacked me with a chainsaw. If you are in colorado, you are out of luck. It is not politically correct ot arrest a woman for domestic violence. Just leave her and leave no forwarding address. The loss of your family maybe a small price to pay for getting away from a wacko witch.

-- Anonymous, April 11, 2000

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