crappy ass television shows

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How do some shows get made? Is there one now that you just can't believe is still on the air? Did you know that Family Matters was the longest running sitcom ever?

-- Anonymous, August 03, 1999

Answers

I think some shows get made because the person backing the idea has way too much money to be turned down for at least a pilot. And maybe the idea was their daughter's. And maybe their daughter was diddling the producer. I can't believe Suddenly Susan is still on the air. Obviously someone out there likes it, but I just can't handle it. The only time I laugh is when the redhead, I forget her name, says something slutty. I am relieved that Brooke Shields finally ceased doing all those terrible pratfalls though. I've never seen anyone fall down in a less convincing way. I'm proud to say that I have never seen an episode of Family Matters, but since my remote can only go so fast, I have caught a glimpse or two of Irkle as I went surfing by. That glimpse was all I needed to urge me to keep moving.

-- Anonymous, August 03, 1999

The worst tv show, bar none, is Full House. Not only are those damn Olsen twins on it (did you know that they have like four or five movies out? Scary, no?), but it is just chock full of bad acting, terrible writing, impossible plots, and just a bad idea all together. I think having to watch that show would be the worst kind of torture one could endure. And please tell me, what the hell is Rebecca Romjin doing with that damn Stamos guy? He may be good looking, but he cant act his way out of a paper bag. . .

-- Anonymous, August 03, 1999

You know, I just think some of these shows need to know when to quit. (Like Seinfeld.) As far as Full House, Family Matters, and Saved by the Bell go, I can say I watched them religiously...

but I was eight at the time. I didn't know any better. Seeing them in reruns, I can't believe I wasted hours of my life on THAT.

I still have my Full House trading cards, if anyone's interested...

-- Anonymous, August 03, 1999


umm... California Dreams!!! Hello!! worst acting ever!! up there with saved by the bell the new class where dustin "screech" diamond is still the opposite of funny. oy. saturday morning shows are the worst. yet i watch them religiously. yikes! sabrina

-- Anonymous, August 03, 1999

I always like to watch horrible tv shows, commercials, movies, whatever- and turn to my cousin/roommate (an aspiring film-maker) and say, "You know, someone got paid to do that. Someone actually sat down with that in their head and wrote it. Someone else directed it, giving it their 'artistic vision'. There were auditions, and a lot of people are upset that they didn't get those parts; but the people who got cast probably did a little happy dance when they found out and they at least started the whole thing with the hope that they could look back on it with pride. Damn, why aren't we doing that?"

Because there's work to be had. Granted, it's crap work and it could eat away at your soul, but it pays and it gets you seen. And years from now when Conan or Leno or Jon Stewart is interviewing me they can have that clip and I can do the "Oh where did you find that?!" bit and everyone will see how young I looked and they'll go "See, even Andy had to start somewhere."

All I'm saying is, I'd be happy to be a part of a crappy sitcom. Sure, from a viewer's standpoint I can pray that Y2K will cause all Hollywood execs to fall into a crumpled heap of apoplexy, but as an actor I hope they like me.

And I saw a 'story' on that 'Thanks' show on 'E! News Daily'. Cloris Leachman actually said that she felt they were on the verge of something big. Who knows, it could be the next 'the Charmings'.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 1999



There was a show a long time ago, mid-80's I guess, about a computer programmer who had built a robot. Her name was Vickie. She had strange red hair and served as his family's housekeeper because of her ability to perform any task at lightning speed. The younger son befriended Vickie and she helped him out of jams. Vickie suffered from robot inferiority complex because she wasn't a real person with human emotions. If I remember correctly she once shocked the audience by actually crying. She was always in need of repairs. She spoke in a very even monotone. I believe the next door neighbor was Edie McClurg but I could be mixing memories. I can't remember the name of this show, but I think it was one the first shows on the FOX network. I have never found anyone else who ever watched this. That was the all-time crappiest show.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 1999

I think that show was called Small Wonder.

And I hate to tell you, but the Olson twins have a lot more than four movies out, I think.

I know I'll get disagreement on this, but I put "Third Rock From the Sun" in the category of shows I can't believe lasted past the pilot. I wanted so much to like that show, but ... ick. Dreadful. Unwatchable.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 1999


That show WAS called Small Wonder and it was my VERY FAVORITE SHOW. I watched it everytime it played, cried when it was cancelled and watched the reruns. I even remember the theme song. "She's a small wonder, la-la-la-la-la"....
*grin* I was getting really pissed that someone was knocking my favorite show, but then I remembered that I was about 7 when I watched it and I also ate Play-Doh and crayons then. Only black ones, though. I have some taste in these matters:)

-- Anonymous, August 04, 1999

Oh yeah, and their neighbor WAS Edie McClurg. How do you remember so much about the show if it was so crappy? You must have watched it... :)
Did anyone ever see Marblehead Manor? It had Kramer from Seinfeld on it. That show was funny. It was about 2 rich people and their household staff. Albert the butler, Lupe the cook, and Kramer was the gardener. I loved that show. I have a video tape of about 6 of the episodes.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 1999

saved by the bell is a really good show.

Ok, if you didn't get the reality bites reference, I'm kidding. but god, i used to love that show. Kelly and Zack- would they or wouldn't they? And then there's the feisty jesse- too smart for her own good! and the beautiful lisa_ treachory lurks behind that dazzling smile. and the adorable geek somebody and the goodlooking if somewhat menacing jock. Who wouldn't watch that show with glee? especially if your skipping your math course in juinor college to do it. :)

So i had some wasted years, sue me.

jesse (thats right! i'm fe

-- Anonymous, August 04, 1999



I loved this terrible sci-fi show that was on tv a couple years ago called "Space: Above And Beyond". The acting and dialog were especially stinky, but i loved that ugly mutt anyway. I found a guy on the internet who sold me a complete set of episodes on video for $30. my roommates think i'm a strange little man. i recommmend cruising around the net for anybody who wants tape of some weird old show. There's somebody else out there who has it, believe me.

-- Anonymous, August 04, 1999

I think I have seen at least one episode of every TV show that has come out since I was born - and I have vague memories about every single one of them. I even remember hearing that theme song about the robot show mentioned above.

How about this one - do you guys remember that show about the girl who was part alien and she and her human mother talked every night to her dad on a crystal box thing? The actress who played the mother was the gum-chewing-chick from Saturday Night Fever who was in love with John Travolta. I think the half-alien daughter is on Baywatch now...maybe.

What's very very sad is when excellent shows turn in to horrible shows. You can always see it coming. They get desperate and someone has to have a baby to keep the show alive. Then they just keep slinging little kids in the cast til they can't go on anymore.

-- Anonymous, August 06, 1999


Now this is going to drive me crazy. The actress who played the mom in that half-alien series was NOT Stockard Channing -- she was that other woman who sort of looks like Stockard Channing. Who the hell is that woman? The Internet Movie Database does no good if you don't know the name of the person OR the show.

-- Anonymous, August 06, 1999

"I Married Dora" with Juliette Lewis and Elizabeth Pena. She was like the maid and she married the single father with two kids to get her green card. She was a Latina spitfire, just like every other Latina on TV EVER, so of course she and the stuffy dad fell in love. But the INS was on their tail so they had to play it cool. Anyway, I loved it and I weep for its demise weekly.

-- Anonymous, August 06, 1999

I remember that show with the half alien girl. I forgot the name, but it had a time slot right by "My Secret Identity", that show that had that guy from "Sliders" on it.
The coolest thing about that alien chick was if she touched her 2 index fingers together time would stop. She could wake anyone out of it by tapping them. I remember once she stopped time and took a nap instead of doing her homework. This always made me think about aging. If she continued to stop time, it would add up and soon, would she look older than her age? I wish I could stop time like that.

-- Anonymous, August 07, 1999


I watched that half-alien chick show too! I loved it. I thought it was the coolest thing, a girl with POWERS. So much better than Charles in Charge. Not that I can remember the name of the show. I do remember the song though..."Would you like to swing on a start (oh oh oh) carry moonbeams home in a jar (oh oh oh) and be better off than you are (oh oh oh), you could be happy here on earth" or something.

Anyone remember "Beans Baxter"? A super-spy 15yr old. I liked that show. Oh, and for the record, I had a huge thing for Jerry O'Connell (My Secret Identity and Sliders). Still do...mmm, he's a cutie! Hubba hubba! Oh, sorry...hehehe

What about those crappy WB shows? "Homeboys from Outer Space" - what the hell is THAT? I can't believe that would ever be given the go ahead. Or um...let's see.. "The Jamie Fox show". You ever watch that? I saw about 2 minutes of that once. It sucks.

Unhappily Ever After - nothing but boobs and a damn talking stuffed rabbit. Hmmmm...

-- Anonymous, August 07, 1999


"Phenom" -- now there was a show with no reason to exist! :P

I think the alien-girl show was "Out of This World", and the mother was played by Donna Pescow. Scott Baio had something to do with that show, too...I don't remember ever watching it, though.

Oh! Here are a few more for the list: "Step-by-Step", and, um...darn...the one with Alan Thicke and Kirk Cameron? Hmmmm...Tracey Gold...anyone remember? My little girl likes to watch it on the WB...she watches for the ones with Leonardo.

-- Anonymous, August 08, 1999


YES! It was "Out of this World"!
You are thinking about "Growing Pains". I remember I thought Leonardo DiCaprio was hot when I watched it as a kid. Who knew?
I remember all these old TV shows, but I barely watch TV now. I have seen one-half of an episode of Felicity, and if you can believe it I have never seen Dawson's Creek, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or Ally McBeal, all of which my friends rave about. I don't have enough time to watch TV and get online, and my choice is clear:)

-- Anonymous, August 08, 1999

Phenom - wasn't that the show with the teenage girl and her younger sister and their mom and the whole premise of the entire thing was that the teenager played tennis?

Anyone remember The Torkelsons? It was about a single with a whole bunch of kids with redneck names - Dorothy Jane, Chuckie Lee, Mary Sue -- am I the only one who watched this?

I agree with the comment about "Unhappily Ever After." That has to be the most ridiculous show on television. That one girl with the weird lips and huge boobs is a dumb whore and the rabbit, played by the irrepressible Bobcat Goldthwaite (insert sarcasm here), is perverted and pointless. In fact, I have reason to believe that every show on the WB is either perverted or pointless. Moving right along...

I hate Veronica's Closet. I DESPISE Third Rock from the Sun. Anything on Saturday morning sucks. It used to be awesome. Same with Nickelodeon. That channel was permanently stuck on our television. I watched Nick Jr. in the morning. I watched Nickelodeon during the day. I watched Nick at Nite... well, at night. Then it got all crappy all of a sudden and I hated every minute of it.

Does anyone remember You Can't Do That on Television? My most favorite show of all time.

-- Anonymous, August 10, 1999

Out of This World...woohoo! Loved it (I was in late elementary school)! I used to practice putting my fingers together, hoping that maybe I would be able to stop time as well. The theme song..."Would you like to swing on a star, carry moonbeams home in a jar..."

-- Anonymous, January 27, 2000

The son from "out of this world" is still on every commercial playing late teens early/early twenties. He has to be nearing fourty by now. Even Michael J. Fox gets to play his age these days.

-- Anonymous, January 30, 2000

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