I can't remember the comedian who talked about how weird the day must have been when Gordon Sumner asked all of his friends to start calling him "Sting." "You know that man has balls."

Do you know people who suddenly start talking in "street" or some sort of made up language and they want you to take part in it?

Are you the type of person who refers to him or herself in the third person?

Tell pamie what's the haps.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

Answers

A few years ago I decided I wanted a more "southern" name and needed a double name. So, I renamed myself SarahBeth (my middle name is Elizabeth). I was working as a temp at the time so I could decide at the spur of the moment what name I wanted to use. I also gave it out on the internet to some people I was conversing with. I didn't mind it in my workday, but I ended up meeting some of the people I was emailing (this was before anyone I actually knew had email, so all my internet conversations were with strangers). Well these ladies Drove Me Crazy! SarahBeth this and SarahBeth that. They ruined it for me. I've hated it ever since. Luckily none of my friends ever even heard me use it so no one calls me that now!

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

Creepy! Creepy! Creepycreepycreepycreepycreepycreepy!

The only person I ever think of when I hear someone refer to himself in the third person is Bob Dole. Thinking of Bob Dole as Daddy, who is also kissing Pamie is just too much creepy for me to take so early in the afternoon.

I suggest the next time Eric refers to himself as "Daddy," start making references to Viagra.

Maybe not. Bob Dole on Viagra kissing Pamie is even creepier.

I'm going now.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

eewww. Presumably this 'Daddy' thing is a shout out to the film Swingers? I seem to recall the two main characters calling each other 'Daddy' and 'Money' all the time (but I could be wrong - I only watched the first fifteen minutes and decided it was a complete load of bollocks).

If somebody I knew referred to themselves in the third person I'd refer them to a psychiatric treatment centre dealing with multiple personality disorders.

On the other hand, if somebody I knew started referring to themselves by some other, more random name I'd just laugh at them and call them pretentious.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

I think that Eric is just trying to continue his endless stream of nicknames.

(we haven't seen Swingers in years...)

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

I only refer to myself in the third person in writing. I have, however, been known to use the royal "we."

I went through a period of wanting to be called "Elizabeth." One of my roommates called me that, and a few other people picked up on it. But it didn't work out -- it's what the gynecologist and the IRS call me. A few people still call me that, but not many.

Except for my older brother, that is. He has always called me Elizabeth Margaret, and he probably always will.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

Elmo is the only creature I know that can get away with referring to himself in the third person. And even with Elmo, some days I wish to hell that Sesame Street would devote an episode to first-person pronouns. Please! It gets extremely annoying after awhile. You'd think he would catch on eventually.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

(wave -hey pamie! - the board's actually working for me now)

Uh, I mean, The board works for Rich now. Rich is now responding to all the messages.

All the child-raising books explain that first person pronouns confuse children until they work out that pronouns don't directly relate to a specific person. Thus, the Elmo third person speech.

As for Eric, in light of this information, I won't go there.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

The comedian in question is the incomparable Dana Carvey. I believe there was even a "gordy getting a beer" dance that accompanied the "Sting/Gordy" bit.

As far as the whole "daddy/poppy/whatever" discussion, I find it a bit disconcerting myself. I could never refer to my wife as mommy (or whatever) unless I was speaking to our cats, it's just far too creepy.

DinoNeil http://www.comsource.net/~nheidorn/

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

Well.

I was going to admit that my boyfriend and I have this habit of conversing in third person. Only with each other, mind you, and only around friends (so far). I'm not certain where we picked it up, but we do it without thinking about it now.

But seeing the general attitude on this board towards people who talk in third person, I'd have to say: I don't do that. I think people who do that are weird, because I don't happen to do that. Perhaps people who do that have serious mental issues.

Cheers.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

Does anybody remember Mad Max: Beyond Thunderdome, how the midget refered to myself and giant ogre he rode as Master/Blaster? "Me Master! Him Blaster! Me Master/Blaster!"

The image came to me of Pamie sitting on Eric's shoulders, holding her daily Squishy columns hostage from all her fans--

Pamie: Embargo on! Who rules Open Pages?

The Mighty Kymm: you do.

Pamie: Who rules Open Pages!

The Mighty Kymm: ...Squishy/Daddy rules Open Pages...

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

As creepy as it sounds when you have babies and you want them to say "mama" and "dada" you begin calling your significant other "mommy" or "daddy" to establish identity. Then it becomes a habit. I have a fourteen month old and his first word was "mama" and his second was "dada". So yes, I admit that when I talk to my baby and sometimes my hubby I do refer to myself in the third person, as creepy as it may be.

This bit reminds me of Caroline Rhea on Comedy Central talking about Latino men wanting her to call them "poppi".

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

I occasionally refer to myself in the third person, just because it makes me feel more important. And because it irritates the hell out of anyone who hears me doing it. That's a nice side-effect.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

Mark Twain said something like that the that only people who should refer to themselves in the third person are "kings and people with tapeworms."

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

What ruined the "Who's your daddy," thing for me was Boogie Nights. I get a total mental image of somebody swinging a body part around when I hear that phrase. Now I even see it on ads for video games (the phrase, not the body part).

For a while, I decided I wanted to be named "Guillermo Gallegos." I knew a guy with that name, and the last name is awfully close to mine, so when I moved, I thought I would just appropriate it. I thought "Guillermo" just sounded way sexier than my own name. Then I realized that not only are both names terribly unsexy, but Guillermo is almost as hard to pronounce as my last name. Nothing less sexy than having someone mispronounce your name (especially in bed!).

Besides that, I'm just Omie...

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

I have a habit of adding syllables to a person's name in the hopes that it will be really funny. Like "Scramie". See that's pretty funny.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

I tend to refer to myself in the third person, not in the pretentious sense, but because nobody can ever pronounce my name correctly. But rather than the get Theryn a Coke tact, I refer to myself referring to myself like, "Then I thought Theryn you are a big fat idiot." Odd I know, but it works for me. Hopefully it's not creepy.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

That is pretty weird, but in a twisted kind of way, I understand.

I can completely imagine my brother using that same long street-talk example that Eric used. Not that we're complete white-bread or anything, but my brother has like NO Rhythm (not that I know what that has to do with anything), so when I hear things like "Late" or "Peace" or "What up?" coming out of his mouth, it makes me twitch. He's been doing it since high school (he's now 28) so you'd think I'd be used to it by now, but I'm not.

Hell, this weekend, he was at the wedding with a lifelong friend (Curtis) of ours and I was like what the HELL?! Why does Curtis keep calling my brother "Friction"?!?! I don't understand that one at ALL. G, Dog, Bro, these I understand... but FRICTION?! I was/am clueless.

In regards to myself... there is a guy at work that talks in Third Person sometimes... and I heard him do it once and immediately questioned him on what the HELL his problem was. He said he just liked to do it for fun. So now, he and I *always* talk in third person to each other. Every reference to ourselves is made in third person. It's quite confusing sometimes. Also, in my journal sometimes, I will refer to myself in third person. Though, I don't think i've done it for a while... so I could be lying right now. (=

Another thing this made me think of was when I worked for that one computer company (inside), I worked with this chic who LOOKED really white bread. And when we were all just sitting around chatting, she would be talking "normal." Ya know? Not really much slang, just chatting... then she'd get on the phone with one of her friends and VOILA Street-Queen is born. "Yo, G, peep this. I be picking you up in my ride tonight and we'll cruise on down to the hood to get skinny-J and the other homeys."

I was always quite confused at this transformation.

And finally. Renaming myself? Any and every nic I've ever used on the internet has been a preferred name to my old name. I have since legally changed my name... so I don't have QUITE the issues as I once did... but I would prefer to be called ANYTHING over my old name. It.just.didn't.fit.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

Seinfeld episode #105 (I looked it up in the Seinfeld episode guide at http://www.xnet.com/~djk/Seinfeld_2.shtml ) "The Jimmy"

Jimmy keeps referring to himself in the third person, confusing Elaine who thinks he's talking about a handsome guy working out on the other side of the health club. "Jimmy would like to date you."

This is also the episode with Mel Torme and the weird training shoes.

-- Anonymous, July 20, 1999

I tend to shorten everyone's name to one sylable(sp?). For instance: Martiny. I sometimes shorten it to Mar. Or the name Pamie, I would subconciously name her Pam. Jackie is Jack. Cameron is Cam. Brian is Bry. These are just examples. I do it to everyone. Even preshortend names, like Caroline. Caro would be shortend, but I go one step further: Care. Hee hee.

I named myself Martiny, for secret reasons not mentioned...*grin*

-- Anonymous, July 21, 1999

I do have to admit to using 3rd person sometimes, but like someone else said, it's usually in a self-depricating way, like "Andy's a little retarded right now."

I usually try to let other people give me my nicknames, otherwise it just doesn't seem right. Like this guy in high school who wanted people to call him "Firepie" because he had red hair. We eventually did, but only because it made him look like an ass.

I did have two friends in college with whom we had our own "codenames". My friend Chad used to be referred to as Crazy Chad, until we decided that my roommate Todd would sound better as Crazy Todd. Chad then became Bad Chad, and they felt Freaky Andy described me best. When speaking to each other, though, we would eliminate our proper names, so I would answer the phone and hear, "Freak! Bad, Crazy there?"

This became such a part of our conversations that we would inroduce each other to friends this way. One night I was working the door at a bar and a was asking how he knew me, to which I just replied (and I wasn't trying to be cocky) "I'm Andy", to which he replied "Oh yeah, Freaky!" It was cool, because that way I knew I had met him through Chad and it helped clear up the hazy murkiness that was my college-years social life.

Other nicknames I've had over the years: Smashy (my girlfriend); Getaway Man, Bigs (both are high school); Andy (pronounced Ondee in a Euro-trash way, from other college roommates); Anda Panda, Hockers, Hockey Doo, Andy Jay, Jaybird, and Andy Joe (family). The more degrading ones have been omitted.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 1999

Firepie? What sort of a retarded nickname is that to try to give yourself? I demand you give me this guy's name and address so that I can go beat him up for wanting to be called that. Jeez... ...I haven't tried rename myself, because I figure I'd get sick of trying to get people to call me by it. My current nickname, Doug (hence the e-mail address) was unwittingly bestowed upon me by my stupid 2nd year Spanish teacher in high school. Before that, people would call me by my last name, which I hated, or "Bookie", which I hated even more. "Bookie" came from this daycare that I went to when I was in the fifth grade (kinda old for daycare, but I guess my parents didn't trust me around matches and scissors, or something), when I opted to read a book instead of go outside and play with the son of the daycare's owner, who I really didn't like. That happened once, and I'd have kids that went to the daycare with me calling me that for the next five or six years. I don't let people call me "Andy" outside of my aunts and uncles, because it's a little more familiar than I like people I don't know using. Does that make any sense? I'm tired, and not thinking straight.

-- Anonymous, July 21, 1999

I can't stand it when married people call each other Mom and Dad or Mother and Daddy. I understand the children thing, mentioned above, but when the kids get the idea, you need to stop. I am a waitress at Chili's, and I ALWAYS hear this. Me: Are ya'll ready to order? Old freaky man: I don't know, are you ready, Mom? Old freaky woman: I don't know, Daddy, what are you getting? Bleagghhh. It gives me the chills. I am so scared I will end up like this. Old grandparents reliving their childhood with their spouses. Pamie, make sure Eric stops:)

-- Anonymous, July 21, 1999

I can't call anyone by their nickname unless I was a part of creating it. If I helped (example) create a name for someone like, say "Crazee G" (which happened) I definitely began calling him nothing but Crazee G, but if he had already HAD the name Crazee G, I wouldn't call him that; it would be way too phony for me.

I was laughing my ass off reading about the people who suddenly change lingos into street slang. I know SO many people who do that! I'm in Jersey and people like that are in an abundance here! Matter of fact I did a little of it myself in HIgh School depending on the crowd I was around. It sort of seemed "necessary" in some of the neighborhoods. People do it to sound "hard" or tough in front of "gangsta" wanna be's. I find it so amusing! Anytime anyone talks like that in front of me now I laugh and ask them to either speak English or shut the hell up cuz I'm not interested in hearing a damn rap song.

I have referred to myself in the third person on occasion but it is certainly not something I incorporate into my normal vocabulary. That is too weird I think. It illustrates a complex I think. I guess it all depends on the seriousness it's used in though. Anything's cool in the name of humor....

-- Anonymous, July 21, 1999

"They're gonna give Daddy the Rain Man suite..." -Trent, "Swingers."

One of the best lines, but I can't refer to myself as "Daddy" without laughing. I can't refer to myself in the 3rd person without laughing either. The only time I do it is when me and my loser friend Joel speak in wrestling lingo, where everyone refers to themselves in the 3rd person, as in, "The Schmeltz says get your ROODY-POO candy ass out here, jabronie!" That's about the only lingo my friends and I will use a language that no one else does. I was using street jive way back in the day. I was saying "beeyatch" and "hizzo" in High School, and people had no idea what I was talking about.

I didn't nickname myself, it was given to me by 2 different sets of people, my high school crew and then my college crew gave me the same one. So, when I hear "Schmeltz" I'll turn my head as if someone yelled, "Eric!" I knew a guy in High School, Corey, who tried for TWO YEARS to get people to call him C.J. He even told teachers to call him CJ. Alas, everyone's answer to the request was, "OK, whatever, COREY!"

-- Anonymous, July 21, 1999

Ooo. My boyfriend's dad calls my boyfriend's mom "Mama." (Or maybe it's "Momma.") Their youngest child is now 28.

Ooo, it's icky. The weird thing is that when I mentioned this to my boyfriend, he had no idea what I was talking about. But I'm telling you, it's "Momma" this, "Momma" that in that house.

Ooo.

As for the made up languages, when I was in ninth grade, my best friend and I started talking this weird language--sort of street, but its only characteristic was using "be" all the time in inappropriate ways. Like, "It be scary." "He be do that."

This was the whitest school in the world, and I had no awareness of being "street." I think we were just weird. (It still embarasses me to think about this.)

Oh, and one time this friend of mine got trashed and spent the whole night talking in Shakespearian-type English. At least, sort of Shakespearian.

"Dost thou want another beer?"

"Yea, verily."

I think we were still saying, "Yea, verily" for months afterward.

-- Anonymous, July 22, 1999

i started calling my brother paul "pablomiel" because i listened to radiohead too much. (pablo honey = their first album; pablo = paul, miel = honey in spanish) now even my parents call him that sometimes. it's amusing.

i've had a ton of ridiculous nicknames, some given to my by others and some self-imposed. the weirdest one, i think, was that my grandpa always called me "emmy lou" as a kid, and then in middle school, my friend rachel called me "emmy lou berry." they've never met, and i never told her what my grandpa called me. huh. i'm currently "spy- doh" on icq.. completely random.

i don't to street speak. it amuses the crap out of me, though. especially these very cool geeks i know who say stuff like "y0" at the end of everything. i am trying REALLY hard not to do that.

it's also very worrisome for people to refer to themselves in the third person, but as one of my summer assignments for ap english, my teacher is making us write a paper entitled "[your name]'s experience with 'the awakening'" in the third person. weird.

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

my boyfriend had a guy in his frat called G Spot because apparently, when there was work to be done, like unloading the van or setting something up, the dude was harder to find than the G Spot. My best friend insists on being called Money. ugh! damn those Swingers.. damn them all to hell! sabrina

-- Anonymous, July 23, 1999

My biology teacher is terrible when he is taking attendance. It amused him to add "ie" to the end of everyone's name. We have Stanley, Jasey, Boley, Merry, Kathy, Sarry, Chrissy, Patty, Kimmy, Mitchy, Courtenay, Lizzy, Mandie, Andy, Johnny, Tarry, Aimee, and so on. It got very frustrated.

There was a guy in one of my classes awhile ago who thought my name was too difficult. So he called me Marigold.

Nothing too exciting. I used get very angry at people for messing with my name.

-- Anonymous, July 24, 1999

Sorry Andrew, but I've lost track of Firepie over the years. We could never figure out why he wanted to be called that either, but the last time I saw him he was very embarrassed of having ever suggested it.

And what's wrong with Andy? I think it's a very cheerful name.

-- Anonymous, July 26, 1999

Many, many people call me Pirece Brosnan, or just Pierce. They also call me Remington Steele, or the more modern Remington Goldeneye. And yes, I KNOW I look like you-know-who, but it is just me.

-- Anonymous, July 27, 1999

Julie London sang a song called "My heart Belongs to Daddy"

Lyrics as follows:

While tearing off a game of golf I may make a play for the caddie But if I do, I don't follow through 'cause my heart belongs to Daddy.

If I invite a boy some night to dine on my fine fin and hattie (sp?) I just adore his asking for more but my heart belongs to Daddy.

Yes, my heart belongs to Daddy, and I simply could not be bad Yes my heart belongs to Daddy Dadada dadada dadada

So I want to warn you, laddy Though I know you're perfectly swell That my heart belongs to Daddy, 'cause my Daddy treats me so well

-- Anonymous, August 05, 1999

I'm still laughing from 'yea, verily' for whatever reason.

I haven't renamed myself yet, though for a while I wanted to be called McKinley Morganfield. I know it's Muddy Waters' birth name, I don't even care. It's so beautiful. However, some people have taken it upon themselves to rename me, usually because my name rhymes with all kinds of things. I've gotten Paprika, Ms. Frika and a couple of things that are better left unsaid. For a while I was The One Who Stole The Pinking Shears, even though I didn't steal the pinking shears, they just happened to get lost after I used them.

Anyway, after that Pokimon episode where the cool trainer girl was called Erika (possibly spelled differently), I wouldn't change my name for the world.

I've also done the using-the-word-'be'-at-inappropriate-times thing. And sometimes after people tell me things, I wave my hand and say, "Good! Make it so."

-- Anonymous, June 02, 2000